SURVIVOR: WC vs BC vs NC – 3/11/15

Returning to camp after Tribal (Night 6), Will pretends to be confused about how the vote went, but he’s just playin’. “What just happened?” they exclaim, but everyone knows what happened. And since it’s clear as day that Will flipped, Nina can see the writing on the walls (she just can’t hear it) and realizes she’s the next to go. But, gosh darn it, can the rest of the tribe include her, please? This strikes everyone a little off guard, not because she’s saying something they don’t know, but she’s saying something that none of them would ever say out loud. Yes, Jeff, this is a stellar cast!

Essentially, what Nina is saying is, “I’m done. I’m toast. Just don’t be a d**k to me anymore.”

Well, Nina, that’s not the way the show works. Because there’s always a possibility that, I don’t know, you could WIN A FREAKING CHALLENGE, and then none of you go home. But since she’s an emotional player/wreck/person 100% of the time, she’ll just resign herself to trying to win challenges, instead of trying to play the game. Regardless, she’s probably right. She’s going home next because of a variety of reasons, none of which are because she has a hearing disorder. You hear that, people with disabilities who appear on Survivor!? Just play the f**king game and stop thinking you’re different/special/screwed/entitled… It’s a level playing field.

Over at White Collar (Day 7), Shirin is watching some monkey porn and realizes she needs to find some more quarters to keep the show going. Since she left all her loose change in her other shorts, she runs back to camp to see who can make change. Shucks, everyone spent all their quarters on trying to friggin’ EAT, but Shirin’s more interested in playing Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, than Survivor. She’s telling everyone about the howler monkeys pre-game ritual (can you call it “TAIL-gating”?) but it’s clear no one cares about hearing how Jim Fowler “stimulated” the monkeys so Marlon Perkins can “get the shot.” Let’s hope it’s not a money shot…

So let’s head over to Blue Collar where things can’t be so bad, right? The tribe is milling about, having a good old time, ribbing each other about how much they sleep and how little work they do when Cliffy Marblebags crosses a line and jokes that Boston Rod’s mother is a whore. Ouch. Now, I don’t wanna take sides in a blue collar pissing match (that occurred month’s ago) but calling someone’s mom a “whore” is one of those things you really don’t do. At least, that’s what Rodney thinks. He’s now up in arms, making a stink that Dan has “gone there” and that’s a no-no where he’s from. If this weren’t a TV show that’ll kick you off for striking another player, Rodney would be handling this a little differently.

To be honest, Dan strikes me as the kind of guy who was never really in the “cool kids” group, and now that he’s on Survivor, he’s trying to fit in. And he chooses to do that by making a totally inappropriate comment about Rodney’s mother, because he thinks he’s now hanging with the cool kids, and that’s what cool kids do – they rib each other. Unfortunately, Rodney is having none of it, and confesses there’s a big target on Dan’s back now.

Now, I just want to play devil’s advocate and throw something out there, since it’s a topic that rarely gets discussed. Here’s the deal, when you make a joke, EVERYTHING is fair game because sometimes all you’re trying to do is shock people to get a laugh. “Oh, no, you did not just go there! You so cray-cray.”

It’s not like Dan really thinks Rodney’s mom is a whore, or even knows her. Hell, she might actually be a whore and that’s what set Rodney off. It’s like when Sarah Silverman joked about getting a pap smear on SNL. It may be repugnant to some, but the point is she was just trying something…pushing the envelope, if you will. Some will get it, some won’t, some will be repulsed, but the truth is, she’s just trying to get a reaction.

True, it might be better to shoot for a laugh than saying something to piss somebody off – especially a meathead like Rodney – but contestants are always vying for more air time, and the quickest way is by being controversial. Reality shows love it, because they think America loves it (we really don’t, TBH) so why wouldn’t you try it? Heck, it’s Survivor, if you can rile somebody up, maybe that’s a part of Dan’s strategy? But the point is Rodney needs to either get over it (which it looks like he’s doing) or punch Dan in the mouth (which would result in his ejection, but teach Dan a lesson). As they say, all’s fair in love and war, and Survivor is war…

But, to be honest, that’s a joke that doesn’t need to be made, because it’s not funny, and Dan has never met Rodney’s mom. If he had, then it’s fair game, because maybe she is a whore…

Back to No Collar we go and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun… Jenn and Hali are checking out the gnarly waves breaking offshore so they just have to experience some “cool buds and tasty waves” in Nicaragua. Outfitted with the most dangerous “surfboards” imaginable (flat, burnt pieces of wood that’ll split your head open if you crash wrong) these Nagarotes (roughly translated as “No Brains,” I believe) go bounding into the surf to catch some radical tubes. Too bad it’s just a bunch of whitewater they’re riding, but they’re having a good time. And, to be fair, a day riding waves in the ocean is supremely better than a day working/building/living/being on Survivor…

Later, Joe is attempting to help Nina put the past behind her. Whether or not she’s going home next, he just wants her to embrace the fact she’s still “playing” a game. Joe confesses to us that he actually knows ASL (American Sign Language) but since he hasn’t revealed that to her it may be a way for him to keep his distance. And maybe that’s another reason why Nina feels like an outcast on her tribe. No one wants to share anything with her. However, even when presented an opportunity to bond with the others, like when Joe brings a lizard back to camp for everyone to snack on, Nina chooses to not partake. It may be a little thing to Nina, but it’s the kind of decision that distances a player from their tribe.

Day 7 – White Collar has their own drama when we find Joaquin, Tyler, Max and Shirin all out looking for the immunity idol. Carolyn, having already found it, is back at camp tending the fire and could care less about being separated from the other 4 members of her tribe (Is that smart?) And so, after a fruitless search, Shirin presents the idea of “calling a truce” until after the next challenge, since none of them seem to be having any luck finding it. When she proposes this to the other 3, Joaquin is the only one to have a problem with it, and even goes so far as to mention how little he’s trusted Shirin from Day 1. Wow, just as So said a couple week’s ago, this guy really doesn’t know how to play the game. Shirin feels like pouring gasoline on the fire and questions why Joaquin doesn’t trust her, but he’s just too macho to give in to her mind game. He’s going to keep looking – since he’s essentially on his own now that So is gone
– whose only play is to show Tyler the clue he received on Day 1 where the idol might be. However, Tyler already knows that Carolyn has the idol, so he’ll just play along, until one of these chinks in the armor benefits him.

So let’s see what other drama can unfold on Season 30. Okay, it’s the Blue Collar tribe up next. Mike is still working his ass off at camp and after the whole “whore” drama earlier, Rodney is not feeling like being anyone’s slave, and decides he’s gonna speak up, and keep speaking, and keep speaking. After an intense back and forth with Mike about what needs to get done and when it needs to get done, Rodney is furious. Nobody puts Baby in a corner! After he spews some vitriol, he eventually collects some firewood, throws the logs down on the pile and flips off the back of Mike’s head. You’re so macho, Rodney!

Now, it’s Lindsey’s turn to take a few swipes at Mike. He’s insinuating that the girls aren’t helping around camp as much, but Lindsey’s adamant that she and Sierra are contributing. So when Mike hesitates to agree they are doing their share, Lindsey takes the opportunity to rip Mike for the Psalm verse tattooed on his back and challenges his beliefs. She upsets him to the point where he challenges the tribe to send him home first, despite his work ethic. And with that tiny admission, Lindsey will gladly send him home first. Let’s see how they fare in the challenge…

Once again, we’re 32 minutes into the episode and we’re just now getting our first glance at Jeff. Now, I don’t want to give the impression I have a crush on him or anything, but I need to get my Probst fix on a little earlier than this. Maybe there’s something to be said for Jeff showing up with an extra bag of rice for a numbskull tribe? Maybe these combined Reward/Immunity challenges are not the best option? I don’t know. I know it’ll change after the merge, but I wanna “get my Jeff on” a little more than this, so can someone please start a petition? I’ll sign it, I promise.

The challenge is familiar, where tribes have to race to dump water into a big bucket that’s riddled with holes then pour the water into a barrel. When enough water is dumped, it raises your flag. First tribe to finish gets a huge comfort package (chairs, tarp, pillows, candles, etc…) the 2nd tribe gets a tarp. We know what the 3rd tribe gets… With the 1 person advantage, Lindsey elects to sit out for the Blue Collar tribe.