But this little episode may have given him the impetus (I don’t think he knows that word) to jump ship from these crazy kids and form a new alliance…or go back to an old one. And I’m sure if he heard when Missy said “…better Keith than me…” on who should get voted out, he’d have all the motivation he needs to do just that.
Over at Hunahpu, Treemail announces what sounds like a merge is happening. Josh is super stoked because now he can get rid of his arch enemy, Jeremy. Not sure when he got that label, but I’ll take Josh’s word for it. He’s already plotting with Reed, Wes and Alec to remain tight, and when Keith joins them, they’ll be in a good place to make the move on Jeremy. Um, okay, I’m not sure they know there are 12 people left and they only have 5 players, so they’re a doughnut short of a dozen, but they’re crazy boys in love so we won’t fault them their math skills…
At Coyopa, they also think they’re merging, so they pack up all their things and hit the road. For some reason, whenever I hear a tribe speak so confidently that a merge is happening, it makes me think the show might be messing with them. Who knows what grudges Jeff might hold when an extra bag of rice is needed to sustain life…2 weeks in! (Yes, I know that was Hunahpu, I’m just making a point…).
Jon and Jaclyn give us their best Kat/Hayden impersonation, “Who would date someone who doesn’t make the merge?” so it still looks like their relationship (and their alliance) is holding up well. But for now, the “Power Couple” is going to keep their options open for what may await them once they merge.
And we’re merged!
So much for all those notions of an angry Jeff wanting revenge. Let them eat cake!
Which, evidently, is enough to make Jon jizz in his pants. Seriously, dude, do you really get THAT excited about anything? I don’t think I’ve ever been that excited in my life. No joke, buddy, you need to bring it down a couple notches.
So as they’re packing up all the leftovers, we see Julie pouring something into her bag, and I’m guessing that’s what’s “in Julie’s bag.” I’m guessing little Julie, all heartbroken over seeing so many loved ones together, thinks she can pull a fast one on her new tribe. We’ll see…
And Keith is just so damn happy to finally get to play with his son that he’s gonna spit some more. Man, they love showing him spit, don’t they? I guess that’s his “I don’t give a spit about Missy or Baylor, no more,” punctuation. And as the tribe heads off to the old Coyopa camp (duh!) we get our glorious Julie boob shot, so everything is still right in the world.
Once they arrive at camp, the players immediately get to work. Not on fixing the shelter or finding wood, on finding out where things stand. Jeremy is at the forefront of this, as he talks with Natalie, Julie, Jon and Missy, all at different times. It seems to him he’s got the Magnificent 7, and their first move will be to take out Josh, who’s running the show in the other alliance. Jeremy seems content with what Jon is telling him, so he’s ready to start playing the “real” game of Survivor, not that “prelim” nonsense pre-merge…
Josh can see that Jeremy is hard at work having conversations, heading away from camp, making plans, so he needs to start doing some work of his own. You don’t want to be on the short end of the numbers when the first Tribal arrives.
Day 17 at “Huyopa” and it’s Wes’s birthday. Time to celebrate with the dirtiest and smelliest crew you’ve ever been around. Come on, everyone, give him a big smelly hug… Apparently Keith forgets that it’s Wes’s birthday for a minute, so let’s see if that means he’s out of the alliance. Something tells me Quasi won’t care…
“Here, I got ya a dadgum crab…” dad tells him.
As Reed and Josh begin to swallow (!) what’s going on around them, specifically that Jeremy is playing the game; they’re beginning to wonder if they’re not in as good a position as they originally thought. Josh knows he’s got the 5 mentioned earlier, but he’ll need one more player to make his plan work. And since his original alliance was with Baylor, whom he saved early on, he’ll need to wrangle her back to his side. As they’re walking near camp, he makes his play on her, but every one of her replies seems half-hearted and fake. I wonder if he picked up on that? She confesses to us that she owes Josh from before, so it’ll be very hard to vote him out now.
And sure enough, when Josh and Reed are discussing the conversation with Baylor later, Josh tells him that she was acting “sketchy,” so they know they’ve got to get to work on a new plan.
We then get a little mother-daughter time with Missy and Baylor, who tells mommy about what Josh just proposed. She’s going to be really sad to vote him out, and then she’ll be hated by everyone if she turns on Josh. Missy does everything she can not to slap Baylor in the face as she tells her, “It’s a game. Just put a smile on, agree with everything that’s said to you, and then say, ‘I gotta go talk to my mom about it.’” It’s a cute little scene where Missy unfolds a couple layers of the onion of their relationship, which is a nice departure from all the gamesmanship and conniving we usually see on Survivor.
Josh realizes he needs to make a play for the only ones that may be swayed: Jon and Jaclyn. He comes bearing a gift (a crab) for them and then quickly and quietly asks them to consider aligning with him and Reed, since they’d have a better shot to win if they go up against the “successful Broadway couple” rather than a “fireman with two kids.” It’s a good play, and it looks like Jonclyn are going to give it some thought, and once again they’ve found themselves in the middle of two alliances that need their help. Decisions, decisions…
But we got Granolagate! Everyone is grumbling about “what happened to the trail mix?” but when she hears this, Julie admits she’s being sneaky, but f**k it, she’s going to eat it or give some to whomever she pleases. That’s the way this tanning beauty rolls. But once she’s away from camp working on her tan (‘cause that’s important!), the tribe is abuzz with finding the trail mix. Jon takes the initiative and searches Julie’s bag and finds the offending edible. Since Survivor is a game where every mistake can be exploited, the tribe has a new Public Enemy #1, and they decide to eat all the trail mix out of her bag.
When she returns to camp, Jon (yeah, Survivor Post, you misspelled his name in the subtitles again! WTF?) she can feel the tension in the air, but she’s not going to discuss it, and no one has the balls to bring it up. That’s okay, we get more shots of her lazing about in her buff, and trying to not look too entitled…
Ugh! You have a tough job because this season is SO BORING so far. A really boring season of Survivor, is still better than most things, but still! Maybe next season they’ll bring on Jose Canseco and his four fingered hand.
Granted, there’s not a lot to work with, but that just means I can delve a bit deeper in the “vault” for obscure references or snark. I gotta admit I was particularly fascinated with Julie’s boobs this season, which probably wouldn’t have gotten that much ink in other ones. But yeah, any Survivor is good. I can’t say I’m ever “displeased” with an episode, just unhappy on the decisions people make on the show. I’m a metagrobologist (look it up!) so I love the “jigsaw puzzle” aspect of laying a piece every week. If we can believe the rumors, Season 30 will be Survivor: Legends with a gaggle of former players competing in Nicaragua. It’ll be interesting to see if that’s true and who they cast. God, I hope they don’t bring back certain people (Colton, X’XXX, anyone who’s quit) just because they think it’ll improve ratings. The writing is on the wall that Survivor fans want to see great competition and fierce players…not drama queens, psychos, and players who can’t cut it for 39 days. Hell, I’d like to see the show do something new and have them play longer. Doesn’t mean more episodes and it kinda fits the “legend” aspect… Thanks for your comment!