SURVIVOR: BRAINS VS BRAWN VS BEAUTY FINALE – 5/21/14

May 22nd, 2014 | 4 Comments | Posted in Survivor 28 - B vs B vs B

Bryan’s Rankings of Every Survivor Player

As I’ve been mentioning for weeks now, I’ve compiled the most comprehensive ranking of every player who’s ever played Survivor. This is not a subjective list of most popular, best player, cutest, or dirtiest player, this is an objective list of how well everyone has played the game. If you win a challenge, you get points, if you sit out a challenge, you get none. I’ve reviewed every episode going all the way back to season 1, so there should be no controversy over earlier players or more recent players having an advantage. Thankfully, the game of Survivor has remained virtually the same, aside from a few tweaks here and there. We’ve seen Exile Island, Redemption Island/Arena, and hidden idols, where none existed earlier, but it’s still come down to: win challenges, make alliances, survive at Tribal, get to Final Tribal. Without any further ado, I present to you the definitive list of every player (through season 27) to have played Survivor…

Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer

The categories:
Days on the “island”
Reward Challenges (Tribe) won
Reward Challenges (Individual/Post-Merge) won
Immunity Challenges (Tribe) won
Immunity Challenges (Individual) won or “gifted”
Hidden Immunity Idols found or “gifted”
Redemption Island duels won or passed
Runners-up
Sole Survivors

And, negatively, points are deducted if you:

Were Medically Evacuated
Quit the show voluntarily

Full disclaimers:
-If you sat out a team challenge (Reward or Immunity) you did not receive any points if your team wins.
-Winning a combined Reward/Immunity Challenge (according to Wikipedia) results in both Team Reward and Immunity points earned.
-If a survivor wins a challenge and is able to “bring someone along,” the guests are not awarded points.
-Individual challenges (Reward or Immunity) in which players are paired up will result in both players receiving full points.
-Survivor “auctions” result in no points earned.
-Challenges won by a Survivor’s “loved one” will result in points awarded to the Survivor.
-If a survivor wins a challenge and gives it away, the person who won the challenge is awarded the points.
-When 3 teams compete in a challenge where the top 2 teams “win” (reward or immunity), both teams earn full points.
-Elimination Challenges are scored the same as an Individual Immunity Challenge.
-Tiebreaker Challenges do not result in any points won for the victor.
-Being awarded Individual Immunity constitutes winning a challenge. Being awarded Tribal Immunity results in Tribal Immunity won.
-2-stage Reward Challenges do not result in 2 separate points earned.
-The discarded idol in Survivor: Gabon resulted in no points awarded.
Survivor: Nicaragua : If you choose to back a team and they win reward, you earn points.
-Mike Chiesl Redemption Island Duel win in Survivor: Redemption Island counts as a Post-Merge win.
-Brenda’s Reward Challenge win (Survivor: Caramoan) that was given away does not result in points for the other castaways. Only her.

#1 – 215 pts. – “ Boston ” Rob Mariano – Marquesas, All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains, Redemption Island
Could it be anyone other than Boston Rob?

In Marquesas he was a child, but you could see the promise of something more. His first big impact on the game was when he cuddled up to Sarah (“Cleopatra” on the raft) for some after hours “Intel.” Obviously, his BR Rules were still being fine-tuned as he went out 7th, but you could surmise Rob was a big reason why future couples were always targeted (hey, why should they have all the fun while we’re competing and starving over here!).

He came back with a vengeance in All-Stars and formed a new alliance with Amber, protecting her by any means necessary (just ask Lex). And while everything played out almost as he had planned, he ended up winning Amber’s heart but not the game. Heroes vs. Villains brought Rob back for a 3rd time, and by steering the Villains tribe through rough waters for the first 2 weeks of the game, Tyson’s dunderheaded error spelled doom for Rob’s alliance, which led to his departure the following week.

Finally, on Redemption Island , everything came together for Rob. His biggest threat, arch-enemy Russell, was excused from the game in week 2 due to his reputation “finally preceding him.” Rob then merely had to steer clear of a number of threats, Kristina, Matt, Grant, Mike Chiesl, Andrea, all the while playing his inner alliance of Natalie and Phillip like a skilled marionette. While it may have appeared that Rob led his flock peacefully through the desert like Moses, the amount of juggling, deception, lies and promises he made (each week) was impressive. There was no other option than to vote Rob the winner, thus realizing his dream of being the Sole Survivor.

There has never been a contestant who’s truly experienced every facet of the game. He’s been a non-entity, a schemer, lothario, gentleman, warrior, cruciverbalist, athlete, liar, and ally. He’s mastered the art of forming an alliance and blindsiding the unsuspecting. And while his actions may have been disgusting to many players and viewers, he always seemed to do it in the context of playing “a game,” and he was always able to come out smelling like a rose. A true Bostonian, he now wears other hats: first and foremost a husband and daddy, so it looks like he still knows how to build a strong tribe.

Within the confines of the game, Rob has done more than anyone else (playing 4 times allows for these kind of statistics): 117 days played (#1), Individual Immunity (#1), Tribal Immunity (#1), Tribal Reward Challenges (#3). The fact that he’s 21 points better than Ozzy is proof that he’s a dominant force. He clearly deserves this distinction and wrote a book to show everyone just how much he knows. And while I think every season is an isolated experiment, there is no one who wouldn’t want to hear what Boston Rob has to say about playing the game. If there’s one person who could take Jeff’s place – if he every wanted to play the game, for instance? – it would be Rob. A true “hero” on a show that temporarily creates villains…

#2 – 194 pts. – Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth – Cook Islands, Micronesia , South Pacific
The only things missing from his resume are winning the game and playing against the likes of Boston Rob, Colby, Russell and Malcolm. Not that he didn’t play against some of the biggest names in the game, but it would have been great to see some of those other matchups. Ozzy came into the game with a “surfer boy” swagger that could only be learned on the waves. He could swim, climb, run and woo women simultaneously, as well as work a puzzle faster than anyone before. Ozzy set the bar for mastering puzzle challenges, fishing, collecting coconuts, or sidling up to a pretty girl. And while Boston Rob and Amber get most of the attention for couples formed on Survivor, Ozzy and Amanda were a real “power couple,” for a while at least…

Notorious for what he brought into the game: an appearance on a Playboy series where he essentially did soft-core porn, that little-known fact was never mentioned on the show. So as viewers we were left wondering if that was sex wax in his pocket, or something…larger… I guess they run a clean ship at Survivor because we never heard about any of this. However, dirty laundry is never too far away in reality television, and Ozzy distanced himself from those debaucherous times…

His performances in challenges were almost Olympian in nature. His mere participation in some made players shake in their boots. And how many other players either A) declared himself a “free agent,” or B) volunteered to go to Redemption Island , fully expecting to re-enter the game?! His time on Redemption Island , rather than a prison sentence, was a holiday. A respite from the game where Ozzy could recharge his batteries, reinvigorate, and renew his hunger to win. Ozzy was truly a lone wolf who played by his own rules and creed. His style of play may not have won him the million, but he was awarded the Fan Favorite award, with the highest percentage of votes ever. Ozzy is a god…

The celebrity he earned on the show is clear by his dalliances he had with Lindsey Lohan and others, but Ozzy is more at home on an island in the South Pacific than a nightclub in Hollywood . He’ll always be a Survivor, and if his soul was a bit more dastardly, he may have fared better in the game. I think Ozzy is the kind of player that many viewers look up to, or would like to spend some time on the beach with… I’d say a lot of dads would like their daughters to end up with a guy like Ozzy, but probably for a different reason than the daughters want…

#3 – 185 pts. – Parvati Shallow – Cook Islands, Micronesia , Heroes vs. Villains
If anyone could claim the title “Queen of Survivor,” it would be Parv. But rather than a crown made of gold and diamonds, it would probably be forged out of rusty metal and shards of broken glass (and a few diamonds…). Parvati may not only be the most successful female in the history of the game (Sandra Diaz-Twine notwithstanding) her toughness – both in challenges and in alliances – were always her calling card. 3 seasons deep has Parvati graced the shores, and on each did she either spin her web, or canoodle (Survivor’s first ménage a trois?), or blindside her way through the game. She’s played with some of the game’s most dominant forces: Boston Rob, Ozzy, Penner, Tyson, Coach, Jerri, and Colby. And was aligned with many others: Russell, James, Amanda, the Black Widows…

Her statistics are unquestionably deep: 114 days played (2nd all-time), tied for 1st in Tribal Reward challenges (with Amanda and Eliza), and then there’s that dominance in challenges. She even got to play some hidden immunity idols, even though SHE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO FIND THEM… They were simply… given…to her by loyal subjects…

Her history in the game has been defined by 3 distinct roles: sexual kitten, diabolical villainess, challenge monster. I think people forget that despite all those flirtatious smiles, winks and booty shots, Parvati was a female boxer who wasn’t afraid to mix it up with anyone. Climb into bed with Russell? Sure thing. She knew what she needed to do to advance in the game and aligning with the biggest villain was just the next thing she needed to do to move ahead. If you check the scoreboard, she made it to the jury of that season too.

However her genius was displayed best in Micronesia , where Parvati and her “Black Widow Alliance” were able to steamroll through all of the Fans and most of the Favorites. In the end, Parvati defeated Amanda, claiming her birthright…

Post-show, Parvati has parlayed her success into a variety of pursuits, most notably hosting the After Show, where she is more than qualified to offer opinions to the departed. Her insight into the inner workings of the tribes, challenges, and production are an interesting dish, and her social awareness is always fine-tuned, which gives us superfans an agent “on the inside.” If the reports are true, she’s done playing the game, but her legacy will live on as the one that any future vamp can be inspired to be like…

#4 – 173 pts. – Amanda Kimmel – China , Micronesia , Heroes vs. Villains
Now we’re talking. Simply put, my favorite female Survivor of all time. Not only was she beautiful, she did incredibly well in challenges and did it all with one of the sweetest smiles this show has ever seen. Her success in back-to-back seasons is one of the reasons I tuned in every week, as it gave me someone to root for each week. And while she may not have provided the best jury responses, that innocence was just another quality that was endearing (to me).

This former beauty queen from Montana made her splash in China playing along with James and a lot of nobodies. Her defining moment, in my view, is when she flashed her tits in the giant ball challenge (…maybe she did some other stuff, but I was good after the tits thing). She came back to play in Micronesia not knowing if she’d won the previous season, which is peculiar. Amanda was always able to align with the right people (Parvati and Cirie) but did the most damage being part of the “Black Widow” alliance. Her challenge wins always seemed to come at the right time, as she and Parvati eliminated Cirie in what would ultimately be Parvati’s season.

Coming back a third time in Heroes vs. Villains, Amanda seemed to get embroiled in one controversy after another. First there was “banana etiquette,” then it was discovering J.T. had found an idol, then the infamous wrestling match with Danielle over the clue she found in the popcorn (I’m still waiting for a Jell-O pudding wrestling match to solve that one…). But after all the scrambling, and all the drama, she was finally let go, serving on the jury and helping Sandra win her 2nd title.

She’s played the 3rd most days in Survivor history (108) and should be considered one of the most successful women who never won the show. America (or maybe it was just us Survivor fans) “ooh-ed and ahh-ed” at the relationship that blossomed between her and Ozzy in Micronesia . And it didn’t feel contrived at all, since it took place within the confines of Final Tribal, and not in front of a live studio audience. I was disappointed to hear they weren’t a couple anymore (or was I…?) and I wish she was still connected to the show somehow. Would love to see her sweet face and disposition somewhere in the Survivorverse…

#5 – 159 pts. – Colby Donaldson – Australian Outback, All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains
The first true “hero” of the show who was later named the “Sexiest Survivor Male.” Colby has definitely had his share of ups and downs on the show. His heroic Immunity Challenge showing in Australia (5-in-a-row (a record) and 7 total) contrasted by his incredibly naïve decision to take Tina to the final instead of Keith (which would, in essence, have guaranteed him a win). Which unfortunately earned him the dubious distinction of “one of the dumbest moves in Survivor history” (although that label may be placed on someone else now, huh, Woo?). Sure, his second and third seasons paled in comparison to the dominance he showed in Australia , but he always remained a gentleman and stayed true to his Texan roots. Okay, that night in the car with his mom was a little weird, but we’ll cut him some slack since he’s friggin’ COLBY! Honestly, I was amazed that after playing such a dominant game those fools in Australia didn’t award him Sole Survivor. Total bulls**t…

#6 – 154 pts. – Rupert Boneham – Pearl Islands , All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains, Blood vs. Water
One of two 4-time players (Boston Rob being the other), and probably THE most-liked player in Survivor history. You could even call him “Sole Survivor adjacent” since he won a million bucks as a Fan Favorite. He’s a man (arggh, no a pirate..) who either established or matched many “firsts/records” on the show: 1st player from Indiana, 1st to be part of 3 juries, most tribal affiliations, most consecutive days without attending tribal (21), 1st to be kidnapped, only player to vote for the same winner twice (Sandra), only player voted out 4 times… And had he played a while longer on Blood vs. Water, Rupert may have ranked 2nd all-time in this list. His crazy antics, scruffy beard and tie-dye may rub some people the wrong way (me, particularly!), but there’s no debating Rupert is a good man with a good heart. His love for his wife is undeniable, and the work he’s done via Rupert’s Kids is quite impressive. And had he finished better in the 2012 Indiana gubernatorial race, we might have been calling him “The Honorable Mr. Boneham,” but alas…4% is a long way from a majority. Regardless, he found his calling elsewhere (on Survivor)…

#7 – 149 pts. – Tyson Apostol – Tocantins , Heroes vs. Villains, Blood vs. Water
Loveable, laughable, and always willing to toss around the sarcasm, Tyson made his mark on both ends of the Survivor spectrum: jokester, nudist, the 2nd most Individual challenges won (behind Boston Rob), patsy (outsmarted by Russell and voted himself out), but ultimately…Sole Survivor. Tyson’s smartass mouth was fun to watch at times, but also a curse when it came across as arrogance (in his comment to Katie). However, his ability to steamroll through Blood vs. Water by controlling every episode after the merge earned him the near sweep at Final Tribal (only Vytas’s vote for Monica spoiled that). Regardless of any shortcomings, Tyson remains one of the most outlandish and jovial winners in Survivor history. Does the guy have a bad day?

#8 – 147 pts. – Russell Hantz – Samoa, Heroes vs. Villains, Redemption Island
The man who reinvented the role of “Villain” on Survivor and perhaps all of reality television. While his approach to the game may be diabolically genius, it failed to realize the one simple fact: it’s a game AWARDED TO YOU by others. That notion either escaped Russell, or he never cared about winning in the first place, as he bulldozed his way to Final Tribal in back-to-back seasons. True, he benefitted from players in Heroes vs. Villains not knowing who he was, but that can be said about players every season. His accomplishments? All he did was find more hidden idols than any other contestant; but he also bullied, made chauvinistic comments, and then proclaimed himself the “best player ever.” We’ll see if Season 30 invites him back to rewrite his legacy, as legal issues, familial feuds and “spoiler” controversies rewrite it for him…

#9 – 143 pts. – Benjamin “Coach” Wade – Tocantins , Heroes vs. Villains, South Pacific
I’ve always considered Coach a polarizing player – you either love him or hate him. His mythological persona, extraordinary adventure stories and tattooed physique were either inviting or off-putting to players on his seasons. He participated in many key alliances and found himself in more than one leadership role, which is always an admirable quality on Survivor. This came natural to the soccer coach/maestro/self-proclaimed “dragon-slayer,” but just don’t call him Benjamin. 96 total days played yet he never won an individual Reward Challenge post-merge. Was he ever really dominant? Despite his idiosyncrasies, I congratulate him on his newest undertaking…daddy…and expect to see him again someday.

#10 – 125 pts. – Jerri Manthey – Australian Outback, All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains
Considered the first real villainess on Survivor who staked that claim all the way back in 2000. She effectively set the mold for any woman who chose to play the “evil bitch” card in subsequent seasons (Parvati, Corinne, Eliza, Ami, etc…) and you could say that all of them owe Ms. Manthey a debt of gratitude. And you can’t tell me that Omarosa didn’t benefit from Jerri’s legacy when she appeared on another Mark Burnett show (The Apprentice) in 2004. Statistically, she played 89 days in 3 seasons, and though she was never a challenge monster, she did play a big part in many alliances and blindsides. Flirting with Colby, butting heads with Keith and Rupert, the proverbial “black widow” in Heroes vs. Villains, Jerri has worn many hats… maybe she should have worn a crown…? And, yes, she was the first to give us a pictorial in Playboy. Y’all saw that, right?

#11 – 124 pts. – Jonathan Penner – Cook Islands, Micronesia , Philippines
Penner is one of my favorite players in Survivor history because he was eloquent, boisterous, witty, and never at a loss for words. If there’s one thing we don’t need in Survivor, it’s another boring contestant. He’s won more tribal Reward Challenges (over 3 seasons) than ANY OTHER PLAYER (15) and tied for 6th in Tribal Immunities won (11). And obviously, if he hadn’t been medically evac-ed in Micronesia , he would have moved up a few notches. Outside the game, he’s an actor and writer/producer who was nominated for an Academy Award (which I think is very cool), who’s always sounded like Alan Alda to me (a favorite of mine). And no, he did not receive any extra points for performing nude on stage…

#12 – 119 pts. – Malcolm Freberg – Philippines , Caramoan
One of the most popular players in Survivor history, Malcolm inherited the Mowgli/Huck Finn persona started by Ozzy. His laid-back demeanor, physical strengths, and Ivy League education helped him advance in both seasons he played. A challenge beast who was equally able to find hidden immunity idols (2nd most behind Russell H.); alas, his “jazz hands” led to his demise in what seems his best shot at a final tribal. Who knows how the vote would have gone if Malcolm was pitted against Denise, Skupin and/or Lisa? A true Fan Favorite, he was rewarded with $100,000 even though he finished 9th in Caramoan. That’s impressive. Let’s hope Season 30 beckons…

#13 (tie) – 118 pts. – Erik Reichenbach – Micronesia , Caramoan
Infamous for making one of the worst moves in Survivor history (if you don’t know what it was, you’re not a fan of the show), he effectively redeemed himself in Caramoan by reaching the final 5. Alas, his body shut down after Brenda got stabbed in the back and had to observe from the jury as one of the least potent final tribal councils unfolded. He appeared to be “shamed” by the show for his earlier mistake when Sherri “sat him down,” but that evidently didn’t go down as shown. He was further disrespected – with some others – at the Caramoan Reunion show where they were relegated to the audience instead of on stage, a huge slap-in-the-face to both contestants and fans of the show. Erik deserved more than that for providing a “nice guy” storyline on a reality show that was getting a little more evil…

#13 (tie) – 118 pts. – Sandra Diaz-Twine – Pearl Islands , Heroes vs. Villains
Sandra is the show’s only 2-time winner who could end up being the ONLY 2-time winner. Having played the maximum 78 days in 2 seasons, yet never won an individual Reward or Immunity Challenge! Is that indicative of the best player of all time (as “some” have claimed) or just a lucky castaway? Labeled a Villain because of her sassy attitude, but it was her adaptability and penchant for deflecting votes which led to her success. A member of the Survivor Hall-of-Fame who’s apparently satisfied staying out of the spotlight.

#13 (tie) – 118 pts. – John Cochran – South Pacific, Caramoan
His embarrassing performance in South Pacific could only be erased by winning Caramoan. With his protestations about being referred to by last name only, he miraculously combined improbable success at challenges with the breakdown of integrity by the other players. He won Caramoan by tossing a “perfect game,” but in my view he was just the one who stood atop the pile of excrement. I thought the 6 players who finished outside the Top 3 were all more deserving, but that’s why it’s called a game. Regardless, Cochran is well-loved by fans and the show and will remain one of its favorites…

Rank Pts. Name Season(s) Comments
16 115 “J.T.” Thomas, Jr. Tocantins, H vs. V You gave an idol to who?
17 114 Gervase Peterson Borneo, B vs. W Tina says “stay out of strip clubs!”
18 112 James Clement China, Micronesia, H vs. V Is that an idol in your pocket?
18 112 Andrea Boehlke Red. Is., Caramoan Stealth R Us blindside X 2!
20 111 Tina Wesson Aus. Outback, All-Stars, B vs. W Let’s take it easy on T
21 108 Danielle DiLorenzo Panama, H vs. V Her fight w/Amanda = priceless
22 107 Amber Brkich Aus. Outback, All-Stars Same birthdate as Sarah. Weird…
22 107 Candice Woodcock-Cody Cook Is., H vs. V, B vs. W Sexy, smart…mutinous!
24 106 Cirie Fields Panama, Micronesia, H vs. V Was never my type of player
25 104 Tom Buchanan Africa, All-Stars Don’t piss off Big Tom!
25 104 Aras Baskauskas Panama, B vs. W B-ball, yoga, Sole-Survivor!
27 102 Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien Marquesas, All-Stars Only one to pee on someone
27 102 Tom Westman Palau, H vs. V Almost threw a “perfect game”
29 101 Brenda Lowe Nicaragua, Caramoan LOVED her until “teeth-gate”
29 101 Laura Morett Samoa, B vs. W Mrs. Redemption Island!
31 100 Stephenie LaGrossa Palau, Guatemala, H vs. V Is she good or evil…?
32 99 Eliza Orlins Vanuatu, Micronesia The 1st Ponderosa visitor!
33 98 Dawn Meehan South Pacific, Caramoan Emotional much?
34 97 Lex van den Berghe Africa, All-Stars You can’t trust Rob, can you?
35 96 Phillip Sheppard Red. Is., Caramoan Polarizing player…
36 91 Michael Skupin Aus. Outback, Philippines Played smart, strong, safe!
37 87 Jenna Lewis Borneo, All-Stars Sex tape vs. no home video
38 86 Ethan Zohn Africa, All-Stars Amber, Jenna, Corinne, now who?
39 85 Courtney Yates China, H vs. V How did she go so deep?
39 85 Monica Culpepper One World, B vs. W IMO, one of the best!
41 82 Ami Cusack Vanuatu, Micronesia I wish she smiled more…
42 81 Jenna Morasca Amazon, All-Stars Yeah, I saw that Playboy…
42 81 Richard Hatch Borneo, All-Stars The 1st “weiner”…
44 80 Corinne Kaplan Gabon, Caramoan Worst TC bitch comment ever!
45 79 “Bob” Crowley Gabon The oldest winner ever
46 78 Alicia Calaway Aus. Outback, All-Stars Don’t wag your finger at me!
46 78 Terry Deitz Panama A monster! Deserved to win!
48 77 Yau-Man Chan Fiji, Micronesia Dreamz screwed him royally…
48 77 Jud “Fabio” Birza Nicaragua Quitters helped him win.
48 77 Kim Spradlin One World Impressive game
51 75 Brandon Hantz South Pacific, Caramoan Don’t get me started…
52 74 Brian Heidik Thailand So that’s CC Costigan’s ex!
53 73 Kenward “Boo” Bernis Fiji Helped many get on show
54 71 Jessica “Sugar” Kiper Gabon, H vs. V You see her in Weeds?!
54 71 Chris Daugherty Vanuatu Is he still on that beam?
56 70 Kat Edorsson One World, B vs. W We got it, you got a boob job!
57 70 Sophie Clarke South Pacific Only one to win 2x same day
58 69 Kelly Wiglesworth Borneo A challenge monstress!
58 69 Yul Kwon Cook Is. Only Asian winner…
58 69 Shii Ann Huang Thailand, All-Stars 1st Asian on the show
61 68 Danni Boatwright Guatemala 1st to buy an auction advantage
62 67 Rob Cesternino Amazon, All-Stars Watches more TV than me!
63 66 Susan Hawk Borneo, All-Stars The 1st real “moment” on Survivor
63 66 Cassandra Franklin Fiji Attended the least # of TC
63 66 Earl Cole Fiji 1st to win unanimously
63 66 Chase Rice Nicaragua Quitters made him lose…
67 64 Stacy Kimball Fiji Most challenges won
67 64 Ian Rosenberger Palau Morals above competition..
69 63 “Dreamz” Herd Fiji Biggest jerk move on Survivor
70 62 Becky Lee Cook Is. Needed matches to make fire!
70 62 “Sash” Lenahan Nicaragua Mortgage-gate!
70 62 Albert Destrade South Pacific Too smarmy to win…
70 62 Matthew von Ertfelda The Amazon Go sharpen that machete!
74 61 Susie Smith Gabon
74 61 Brett Clouser Samoa
76 60 Rafe Judkins Guatemala A nice little writing career, post Survivor
76 60 Chelsea Meissner One World Cutie
76 60 Ashley Underwood Red. Is. You don’t tell Phillip to shut up!
76 60 Twila Tanner Vanuatu Don’t ever swear on your son’s life!
80 59 Kim Johnson Africa
80 59 Todd Herzog China An interesting ride post-Survivor…
80 59 Vecepia Towery Marquesas The 2nd least deserving winner?
80 59 Sabrina Thompson One World
80 59 Bobby Jon Drinkard Palau, Guatemala Hosts a show in Alabama
80 59 Natalie Tenerelli Red. Is. No chance to win against Rob
80 59 Stephen Fishbach Tocantins Staying active in the Survivorverse.
87 58 Neleh Dennis Marquesas
87 58 Darrah Johnson Pearl Is. Thisclose to being on Amazing Race
87 58 Carter Williams Philippines Would like to see him play again…
87 58 Grant Mattos Red. Is. Another screwed over by Rob
87 58 Clay Jordan Thailand Voting rules changed b/c of him
92 56 Keith Famie Australian Outback
92 56 Natalie Bolton Micronesia How did she pull that off?
92 56 Denise Stapley Philippines Survived.Every.Tribal.Council.Wow.
92 56 Lisa Whelchel Philippines Was it such a big secret?
96 55 Rudy Boesch Borneo, All-Stars The oldest Survivor ever.
96 55 Jason Siska Micronesia First to find a fake idol
96 55 “Troyzan” Robertson One World Nice photos on Instagram!
99 54 Reynold Toepfer Caramoan Had a baby recently! Congrats!
99 54 Randy Bailey Gabon, H vs. V Not a fan…
99 54 “Jonny Fairplay” Dalton Pearl Is., Micronesia Survivor’s first “mean” lie…
102 53 Too smart for her tribe… China Don’t lie about your job…
102 53 Ted Rogers, Jr. Thailand Mr. Grinder…
104 52 Edward “Eddie” Fox Caramoan How you doin’, Andrea…?
104 52 Adam Gentry Cook Is. Could have been Mr. Woodcock…
104 52 Sundra Oakley Cook Is.
104 52 Cindy Hall Guatemala The dreaded car curse!
104 52 Paschal English Marquesas Our only “purple” rock victim…
104 52 Katie Gallagher Palau
104 52 Burton Roberts Pearl Is. First person voted off twice
104 52 Mike Chiesl Red. Is. An honorable dude…
104 52 Helen Glover Thailand
104 52 Julie Berry Vanuatu She knows what Jeff’s packing…
114 51 Peih-Gee Law China Too smart for her tribe…
114 51 “Alex” Angarita Fiji
114 51 Holly Hoffman Nicaragua That shoe incident!
114 51 Jane Bright Nicaragua
114 51 Alicia Rosa One World What a bitch…
114 51 Gregg Carey Palau
114 51 Natalie White Samoa The LEAST deserving winner
121 50 Teresa Cooper Africa
121 50 Sherri Biethman Caramoan Delusional…
121 50 Jaison Robinson Samoa Hey, where are my socks?!
124 49 Ciera Eastin B vs. W We’ll see her again…
124 49 Judd Sergeant Guatemala 1st person to get a Hidden Idol clue…
124 49 Caryn Groedel Palau
124 49 Jennifer “Jenn” Lyon Palau So sad…
124 49 Abi-Maria Gomes Philippines What a bitch…
124 49 Mick Trimming Samoa Unduly attacked at Final Tribal?
124 49 “Shambo” Waters Samoa What was her personal item?
124 49 Jan Gentry Thailand
124 49 Heidi Strobel The Amazon Yeah, I saw her in Playboy…
124 49 Debra “Debbie” Beebe Tocantins
124 49 Erinn Lobdell Tocantins
135 48 Elisabeth Filarski Australian Outback Whatever happened to her…?
135 48 Marcus Lehman Gabon Ladies loved him, so did Charlie
135 48 Tammy Leitner Marquesas
135 48 Alexis Jones Micronesia Part of the Black Widow Brigade
135 48 Ben “Benry” Henry Nicaragua On the wrong side of alliances
135 48 Dan Lembo Nicaragua Who brings $1,600 shoes?
135 48 Christina Cha One World Chones! heavenlycurveslingerie.com
135 48 Rick Nelson South Pacific Applied 15 times!
135 48 “Taj” Johnson-George Tocantins
144 47 Edgardo Rivera Fiji Another Dreamz victim…
144 47 Matty Whitmore Gabon Dude, where’s my trust fund?
144 47 David “Dave” Ball Samoa
144 47 John Fincher Samoa Rocket scientists be cool. Period.
144 47 Monica Padilla Samoa
144 47 Scout Cloud Lee Vanuatu The only “omnisexual” castaway
150 46 Sean Kenniff Borneo Alphabet strategy = so dumb
150 46 Greg “Tarzan” Smith One World Anomalous and perspicacious…
150 46 Peter “Pete” Yurkowski Philippines Single-handedly screwed RC…
150 46 Matt Elrod Red. Is. Mr. Redemption Island!
150 46 Ralph Kiser Red. Is. Stood up to Russell…
155 45 Hayden Moss B vs. W You can’t win both shows!
155 45 Charlie Herschel Gabon
155 45 Gary Hogeboom Guatemala Survivor’s first “celebrity”
155 45 Jay Byars One World
155 45 Lillian Morris Pearl Is.
155 45 Butch Lockley The Amazon Burn, baby, burn. Disco inferno!
161 44 Erik Huffman China Married Jaime, so he won too!
161 44 Robert DeCanio Marquesas
161 44 NaOnka Mixon Nicaragua Quitter, loudmouth, bi*ch!
161 44 Shane Powers Panama Almost returned 3 times!
161 44 Edna Ma South Pacific
161 44 Whitney Duncan South Pacific Found love on the island…
167 43 Kim Powers Africa
167 43 Nick Brown Australian Outback
167 43 Rodger Bingham Australian Outback
167 43 Colleen Haskell Borneo Survivor’s 1st sweetheart!
167 43 Ken Hoang Gabon Gamer’s role model
172 42 Frank Garrison Africa
172 42 Sean Rector Marquesas
172 42 Bruce Kanegai Panama
172 42 Artis Silvester Philippines He beat stage 4 cancer!
172 42 Jake Billingsley Thailand
172 42 Leann Slaby Vanuatu Ms. Earthquake Confessional!
178 41 Lydia Morales Guatemala
178 41 Courtney Marit Panama The definitive “free-spirit”…
178 41 Christy Smith The Amazon The 1st disabled contestant
181 40 Katie Collins B vs. W The only female “purple rock” victim
181 40 Sally Schumann Panama
181 40 Steve Wright Red. Is. Did he throw that challenge?
181 40 Sierra Reed Tocantins It was always an uphill battle for her
185 39 Brandon Quinton Africa
185 39 Caleb Bankston B vs. W Made a HUGE move at Tribal!
185 39 “Frosti” Zernow China A real Ninja Warrior!
185 39 Crystal Cox Gabon Forfeited gold medal due to steroids!
185 39 Penny Ramsey Thailand
185 39 Alex Bell The Amazon One of 3 Survivor marriages
185 39 Deena Bennett The Amazon
185 39 Brendan Synnott Tocantins The proverbial “Dragon”…
185 39 “Chad” Crittenden Vanuatu The show’s 1st amputee…
194 38 Jean-Robert Bellande China Made his million in poker…
194 38 “Nate” Gonzalez Cook Is.
194 38 Lisette “Lisi” Linares Fiji You can’t unsee “Tightie Whities”
194 38 Jamie Newton Guatemala
194 38 Coby Archa Palau
194 38 Christa Hastie Pearl Is. She can wash MY car!
194 38 Kelly Sharbaugh Samoa
194 38 Jim Rice South Pacific Loving Colorado’s new laws?
194 38 Lea Masters Vanuatu
203 37 Greg Buis Borneo 1st to wear immunity necklace
203 37 Zoe Zanidakis Marquesas
203 37 Leif Manson One World Did he even speak all season?
203 37 Janu Tornell Palau 1st to go to Exile Island
203 37 Tijuana Bradley Pearl Is.
203 37 Julie Wolfe Red. Is.
203 37 Erik Cardona Samoa Did his speech help Natalie win?
210 36 Jeff Kent Philippines “Obama” comment = bad timing
210 36 Ken Stafford Thailand I wish he’d gone farther…
212 35 Vytas Baskauskas B vs. W Mr. Yoga or Mr. Cheap Shot?
212 35 Michael Jefferson One World Stuck on a bad tribe
212 35 Colton Cumbie One World, B vs. W Should be ranked last…
212 35 Russell Swan Samoa, Philippines Not a good leader…
216 34 Jenny Guzon-Bae Cook Is. Oops, don’t doodle guns…
216 34 Alina Wilson Nicaragua
216 34 Kelly Shinn Nicaragua Purple is the color of quitters
216 34 Marty Piombo Nicaragua Played the game right…
216 34 Keith Tollefson South Pacific 1st player with a pacemaker
216 34 Dave Johnson The Amazon
222 33 Michelle Yi Fiji Cutie-patootie!
222 33 Mookie Lee Fiji 1st to give away Immunity Idol
222 33 Dan Kay Gabon
222 33 “Kathy” Sleckman Micronesia The eldest quitter…
222 33 “RC” Saint-Amour Philippines That laugh! That ample bosom!
222 33 Erin Collins Thailand
228 32 Kelly Goldsmith Africa “Dr. Goldsmith, I presume…”
228 32 Brad Virata Cook Is.
228 32 Brandon Bellinger Guatemala
231 31 Michael Snow Caramoan
231 31 Rebecca Borman Cook Is. Does Elizabeth’s make-up
231 31 Ace Gordon Gabon Don’t hit women, Ace-hole…!
231 31 Ryan Opray Pearl Is. Was on “Total Blackout”
231 31 David Murphy Red. Is. A high IQ, but a cheater…
231 31 John Kenney Vanuatu
237 30 Jeff Varner Australian Outback Became quite the news anchor!
237 30 Jessica Smith Cook Is.
237 30 John Carroll Marquesas Only Survivor peed on…
237 30 Austin Carty Panama
241 29 Clarence Black Africa That ill-fated can of beans…
241 29 Gretchen Cordy Borneo Survivor’s 1st major blindside!
241 29 Jill Behm Nicaragua
241 29 Roger Sexton The Amazon
245 28 Lindsey Richter Africa
245 28 Laura Boneham B vs. W It’s a social skills game!
245 28 Andrew Savage Pearl Is. He coulda been an All-Star!
245 28 Shawn Cohen Pearl Is.
245 28 Trish Dunn Pearl Is.
245 28 Sarita White Red. Is.
251 27 Robb Zbacnik Thailand Mr. Chokehold…
251 27 Rory Freeman Vanuatu
253 26 Joel Klug Borneo Should have done better.
253 26 Jaime Dugan China Married Erik, ahhhh!
253 26 Anh-Tuan “Cao Boi” Bui Cook Is. First player to suggest the split vote.
253 26 Tracy Hughes-Wolf Micronesia
253 26 Jonas Otsuji One World Best chef on the show
253 26 Nick Stanbury Panama
253 26 Stephanie Valencia Red. Is. Don’t sleep with the devil…
253 26 Christine Shields Markoski South Pacific A Redemption Island Challenge Goddess!
253 26 Shawna Mitchell The Amazon Too boy crazy…
253 26 Joe Dowdle Tocantins Oh, what might have been…
253 26 Sydney Wheeler Tocantins
264 25 Kelly Czarnecki Gabon Worked on Amazing Race.
264 25 Margaret Bobonich Guatemala
264 25 Gabriel Cade Marquesas Gotta have a strategy, bro…
264 25 Ibrehem Rahman Palau Only Muslim contestant
264 25 Mikayla Wingle South Pacific See her Playboy shots? I did.
269 24 Aaron Reisberger China The Tribal Switch curse…
269 24 Sherea Lloyd China
269 24 Amy O’Hara Guatemala
269 24 Blake Towsley Guatemala Easy on the R-rated stories!
269 24 Michelle Tesauro Pearl Is. Just follow the plan!
274 23 Silas Gaither Africa
274 23 John Cody B vs. W Take off your socks!
274 23 Julia Landauer Caramoan
274 23 Liliana Gomez Fiji
274 23 Dan Barry Panama Respect for astronauts!
274 23 Osten Taylor Pearl Is. THE original quitter…
280 22 Kimmi Kappenberg Australian Outback Would have gone nude if not voted out
280 22 James “Rocky” Reid Fiji Boston Rob typecasting much…?
280 22 Danny “GC” Brown Gabon Thisclose to quitter status…
280 22 Gina Crews Marquesas
280 22 Chet Welch Micronesia Horrible at challenges
280 22 Kelly Bruno Nicaragua Should have punched NaOnka
280 22 Katie Hanson Philippines Miss Delaware 2011!
280 22 Spencer Duhm Tocantins Youngest player ever.
280 22 Lisa Keiffer Vanuatu
289 21 Dirk Been Borneo First ever to be blindsided…
289 21 Cristina Coria Cook Is.
289 21 Elizabeth “Liz” Kim Samoa
289 21 Elyse Umemoto South Pacific
289 21 Jeanne Hebert The Amazon Wrapper-gate!
294 20 Matt Bischoff Caramoan Beards-R-Us
294 20 Brian Corridan Guatemala
294 20 Willard Smith Palau
294 20 Bobby Mason Panama Was on “Blind Date”
294 20 Krista Klumpp Red. Is. Gave her bible to Matt
294 20 Stephanie Dill Thailand Only woman to be DQ’d from a challenge
300 19 Stephannie Favor Cook Is.
300 19 Jacquie Berg Gabon Was doin’ a producer?!
300 19 Joel Anderson Micronesia Can’t forget him pulling Chet.
300 19 Yve Rojas Nicaragua
300 19 Bill Posley One World Should have belted Colton
300 19 Sandy Burgin Tocantins
306 18 Anthony Robinson Fiji Dude, defend yourself!
306 18 Brooke Struck Guatemala
306 18 Tyrone Davis Nicaragua Watch that chicken intake!
306 18 James Miller Palau
306 18 Dana Lambert Philippines Never went to Tribal
306 18 Kristina Kell Red. Is. First woman to find Idol
306 18 Joanna Ward The Amazon
313 17 Linda Spencer Africa
313 17 Mitchell Olson Australian Outback Tallest survivor ever…
313 17 Ramona Gray Borneo
313 17 Stacey Powell South Pacific It’s “Coach,” not Benjamin!
317 16 J.P. Calderon Cook Is. Nobody wins by being lazy
317 16 Gary Stritesky Fiji Never went to Tribal
317 16 Rita Verreos Fiji
317 16 “Mikey B” Bortone Micronesia Don’t overthink it!
317 16 Ruth-Marie Milliman Panama
317 16 Sarah Dawson Philippines Jeff’s married, you slut!
317 16 Ashley Trainer Samoa
317 16 Yasmin Giles Samoa Just shut up!
325 15 Carl Bilancione Africa
325 15 Brad Culpepper B vs. W We’ll see him again…
325 15 Dave Cruser China That damn fire pit!
325 15 Ghandia Johnson Thailand Drama mama!
325 15 Travis Sampson Vanuatu
330 14 Maralyn Hershey Australian Outback Mad dog!
330 14 Jimmy Tarantino Nicaragua
330 14 Matt Quinlan One World Arrogance will never win…
330 14 Angie Jakusz Palau
330 14 Misty Giles Panama
330 14 Jed Hildebrand Thailand
336 13 Leslie Nease China Your religion scares me
336 13 Paloma Soto-Castillo Gabon
336 13 “Kim” Mullen Palau Why are you so lazy?!
336 13 Brady Finta Vanuatu Wrong side of an alliance
340 12 Stacey Stillman Borneo She sued Mark Burnett!
340 12 Laura Alexander Caramoan Couldn’t make it a Beaver3
340 12 Sylvia Kwan Fiji Bad luck from the start…
340 12 Sarah Jones Marquesas Cleopatra does Playboy!
340 12 “Papa Bear” Caruso South Pacific
340 12 Jerry Sims Tocantins
346 11 Marissa Peterson B vs. W Watch your mouth!
346 11 Cecilia Mansilla Cook Is.
346 11 Jimmy Johnson Nicaragua Couldn’t ExtenZe his time!
346 11 Daniel Lue The Amazon Contracted malaria.
346 11 Mia Galeotalanza Vanuatu Longest last name…
351 10 Kel Gleason Australian Outback That cursed beef jerky!
351 10 Shamar Thomas Caramoan Luxury item should have been Visine!
351 10 Brianna Varela Guatemala
351 10 Jeff Wilson Palau Watch out for that coconut!
351 10 Francesca Hogi Red. Is., Caramoan Two-time “winner”?
351 10 Dolly Neely Vanuatu
351 10 John Palyok Vanuatu
358 9 B.B. Andersen Borneo Bribed an early flight home
358 9 Hope Driskill Caramoan Miss Missouri USA 2011
358 9 Billy Garcia Cook Is. Mr. Love At First Sight!
358 9 Hunter Ellis Marquesas Declined to return 3 times!
358 9 Mary Sartain Micronesia
358 9 Ben Browning Samoa Mr. Cheap Shot!
358 9 Janet Koth The Amazon
358 9 Candace Smith Tocantins Tig ole bitties!
366 8 Morgan McDevitt Guatemala
366 8 Shannon Elkins Nicaragua Protected his butthole!
366 8 Ryan Shoulders Pearl Is.
366 8 Angie Layton Philippines Got cookies?
370 7 Rachel Foulger B vs. W Her departure inspired Tyson
370 7 “Allie” Pohevitz Caramoan Now a Casting Director!
370 7 Ashlee Ashby Palau
370 7 Jolanda Jones Palau Too overbearing
374 6 Jessie Camacho Africa
374 6 Ashley Massaro China See her “spread” in Playboy?
374 6 Erica Durousseau Fiji
374 6 Gillian Larson Gabon
374 6 Patricia Jackson Marquesas
374 6 Melinda Hyder Panama
374 6 “Roxy” Morris Philippines Speaking in tongues? Really?
374 6 Betsy Bolan Samoa
374 6 Semhar Tadesse South Pacific Don’t drink and drive!
374 6 Tanya Vance Thailand
384 5 Nina Acosta One World
384 5 Nicole Delma Pearl Is.
386 4 Jim Lynch Guatemala
386 4 Marisa Calihan Samoa You don’t attack Russell!
388 3 Diane Ogden Africa
388 3 Debb Eaton Australian Outback
388 3 Sonja Christopher Borneo THE first voted out!
388 3 “Chicken” Morris China
388 3 Sekou Bunch Cook Is.
388 3 Jessica DeBen Fiji
388 3 Michelle Chase Gabon Where’s DJ Soxxi!?
388 3 Peter Harkey Marquesas First male voted out first
388 3 Wendy DeSmidt-Kohlhoff Nicaragua
388 3 Tina Scheer Panama
388 3 Zane Knight Philippines How’d that plan work out fer ya?
388 3 Mike Borassi Samoa
388 3 John Raymond Thailand
388 3 Ryan Aiken The Amazon
388 3 Carolina Eastwood Tocantins How was that blindside?
388 3 Brook Geraghty Vanuatu What might have been…
404 2 Jonathan Libby Palau See Matt Quinlan above…
404 2 Wanda Shirk Palau Don’t sing on the boat!
406 1 Kourtney Moon One World The ultimate distinction…

That’s all I got folks… I hope you enjoyed the List. Stay tuned for the release of an updated one with all 424 players. Coming soon…

Fish out…

4 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: BRAINS VS BRAWN VS BEAUTY FINALE – 5/21/14

  1. Thanks for a great season of recaps Bryan. I agree about Woo, he def. gave it away. When I was watching it, I felt like he was being honorable etc., but by the next day, I started feeling like he really should have taken Kass. In the entire game, he voted out people to get himself to the end. Then, we he won the power to decide his fate, and he’d won that honorably in the challenge, he then picked the wrong person. Tony did deserve to win over Kass and Woo, and maybe even Spencer too. It was a great season. I agree about the fan favorite. I think a lot of people are bummed they don’t do that anymore. And yeah, what’s with such a limited amount of updates from the players. Nothing on the fight with Kass/Trish or Lindsay/Trish. Nothing else about why Lindsay quit? We get to see more of Morgan’s boobs, I mean odious personality. ‘m sorry guys, she’s NOT that pretty. And yuck, thanks Jeff (not!) for the quick check on XXX. She really looks like a bird-sort of reminds me of the road runner cartoon’s face….I And man, what a dud LJ has turned out to be. Does that guy even have a pulse? He seems like a zombie. And why was Kass always called a goat? Is that some new reference I don’t know about? Why not a sheep? I’m not that thrilled for Blood Vs Water II. I didn’t find it that great the 1st time but I’ll stay hopeful. As for the rest of the summer….are you a Big Brother Fan? I hope its a better season this year. At least we have 24 to get us through the summer.

  2. Great wrap up and I totally agree with your Survivor Greats ratings.
    What Kass said to her husband about everyone views her as a bitch because she’s a woman and would consider her tough if she was a guy, totally bugs. It’s an excuse that women use and sometimes I agree with. If any guy acted like Kass did this season, they would totally be called a tool and not tough.

  3. Thank you both for all the comments all season. You’re two of my favorites! Here are a few random thoughts…

    My take on Woo hasn’t changed. I do find it an incredibly honorable thing to do, but this is a game. And when you come onto it, you (should) do so with the mentality of “whatever it takes to win.” The “whatever” part may adjust through the course of the season, but the “to win” part should be constant. It’s too much of a slap in the face to everyone else who would love to be there to throw it away on doing what’s “honorable”…

    I’ve always contended it was a GOOD season. I guess what I’m looking for to categorize a season GREAT is that we have great challenges, personalities and competitions, and not so much drama, blindsides, jerks, bitches, and fighting. I like reality COMPETITIONS, not reality tv. Just my preference…

    Yeah, I get you about Morgan. She’s not THAT pretty, it’s just those boobs are so overwhelming. It’s just a guy thing (some guys wouldn’t agree)… It’s not like she has a supermodel body either, but those boobs…

    Yeah. J’XXX is so YUCK! I don’t get ANYTHING about that psycho. Go away forever!

    I think the goat reference is simply because she set herself up as the reason for so many failures (by other people). IDK…

    LJ looks like he got rejected by all the women at Ponderosa and he’s been cuckolded…

    I think B vs. W was great the first time around because it introduced emotions every week. Not drama, real emotions.

    Never watched BB. Won’t start now. Even if they put Russell on it!

    Yes, I get watch you’re saying about Kass. She was just looking for a justification for all her actions but she should have just owned that she tried to play a certain way and it didn’t work out…unless she was just trying to come in second and maximize her winnings. Could be…

    Thanks, girls! Enjoy the summer!

  4. Pingback: RealitySteve.com Survivor – My sarcastic, slanted, sophomoric, and skewed view on the world of reality television | Survivor

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