At Final Tribal (we all know the drill so I’ll keep my comments to a minimum) Tony opens with the revelation that he made all his decisions based on strategy and not emotion. He also thanks Woo for taking him to Final Tribal, because he knows that was one of the dumbest things he’s ever seen on Survivor.
Woo counters with his 5 codes of conduct, and the fact that his mother has to endure a heart transplant last year (nice move there, Woo…). The jury is nonplussed… Let’s hear what they have to say. All indications are that this is going to be a very contentious jury – having Sarah, Tash, Spencer, Kass, LJ, and mostly, Trish, on it lead me to believe that, but let’s see what they can come up with. I’ll summarize…
Sarah calls out Tony for swearing on his badge that he wouldn’t vote her out. He did. I’m guessing she votes for Woo.
Jefra asks Tony to “own” his game and not to defend the choices he made. Sure sounded like he was defending his game. I think she votes for Woo.
Morgan stands up and does what she does best. She flashes her tits and sits back down. Okay, maybe that only happened in my fantasy, but I guess she made some comment about breasts (true!) and then told Woo she respected the fact he didn’t choose to sit next to a farm animal. I’m guessing she’s 50/50 on who to vote for…
Jeremiah asks Tony straight up if he has a wife and kid, because where he’s from, if someone swears on their wife and kid, that’s a solid pact. He asks Tony if he does, Tony affirms that, and Jeremiah calls him a f**king scum and asks Woo if he wants to win a million. Woo says yes. Jeremiah is good with that. My guess, Jeremiah votes Woo…
(Note to future players, DO NOT swear on any of your loved ones. People just don’t like that, and it means nothing.)
Tash asks Tony how he managed to crap on so many people and still maintain his alliance. He says that Trish is the only one he backstabbed. Everyone else tried to get him out first. She asks Woo why he aligned with Tony and he gives a b.s. response about hooking up with him after the tribe swap. Tash seems confused by his roundabout reply so I’m guessing Tash votes for Tony…
LJ steps up and asks Tony who he is and why he did…. Oh, never mind. LJ essentially folds his cards and shows no balls whatsoever. If anyone’s thinking he’s a lock for Season 30, review this Final Tribal and ask yourself, “How many other people have shown less spine in their Final Tribal question?” This is your last opportunity to shine, dude, show some f**king balls…! I can’t tell who he votes for based on that…
Kass wonders why Woo brought Tony to the end when he had the opportunity to “cut off the head of the dragon.” Woo offers his best, “Tony deserves to be here and you didn’t” argument, but I’m just wondering if she’s capable of seeing things outside her perspective. She probably isn’t, as is just bitter at Woo for choosing Tony over her. I think she votes for Tony.
Trish steps up and gives us that Final Jury question we wait for all season. The one question that makes us feel that the soul of Susan Hawk lives on in every Final Tribal. That this “sacred” event can bring out the deepest truths, the harshest revelations, the baring of one’s soul. Trish asks – with respect to the 2 siblings who she’s lost – if it was worth it for Tony to swear on his wife and child, and more importantly, his dead father’s grave, to win a million dollars. He tells her “yes.” Yuck. I’m thinking she’s voting Woo…
Spencer attacks Woo with the comparison that he played like a dog. And with the opportunity to bring one of the biggest goats in Survivor history to the end, he stayed loyal to his “master” and didn’t take the goat. When Woo asked Spencer if he could respect taking a goat to the end, “as a student of the game,” Spencer replies that he could. Rather than asking Tony anything, Spencer addresses the jury and pleads for them to give their vote to Tony, since he’s the only one to play the game like it was meant to be played. I don’t know if he was able to sway any votes with that appeal, but at least he spoke the truth that Twitter demanded.
Final prediction…
3 for Tony
4 for Woo
2 undecided
Looks like it might be a close one… And right now I’m digging that they’re kicking it old school and going with the final 2. When there’s a final 3, there’s always one person who is just a waste. As I go back and review every season that had a final 3, the 2nd runner up has always received 0 or 1 vote. So why even bother? Let the top 2 fight it out and see who takes the million. Let’s get to the vote and see what the jury actually decided…
As Jeff departs the Philippines for the last time and walks into the CBS Television stage, I’m wondering what it takes to get a ticket to the finale/reunion show. Christ, I’m a superfan and I live close, can’t they throw a superfan a bone? Who do I need to sleep with to score a couple of tix to my favorite local show…?!
And as Jeff reads the votes, I’m shocked at how incorrect my take on the jury was. Besides the vote for Woo from Tash, it’s a Tony the Tiger landslide, as he almost swept the jury. Final vote: 8 to 1, and I think Woo will regret this decision for a long time. I also wonder how his girlfriend is handling this right now, because their wedding just went from a hotel overlooking Huntington Beach , to a VFW in San Pedro. Anyone else think she’s pissed right now…?
And another season ends with one of the craziest decisions in Survivor history being made. As I mentioned, this is a Colby level of poor judgment. However, Colby’s was in Season 2 when there was no precedent like there is today. This is simply the dumbest decision – in the context of the game – ever made. Because this was decision to WIN THE GAME, unlike the one Erik made years ago. We could discuss all the other “honorable” decisions made by players in the past, but this was the big one. You can almost see the discomfort that Woo is feeling…
I really don’t think I need to go into very many specifics of the reunion show, so I’ll just throw out a few observations…
Sarah is not happy with Tony. Cops-R-Us is kaput
Tyler Perry was there, no one jumped him, and who cares what his new project is…
Woo claims he can hold his head up…but I’m not buying it.
Spencer deserved an apology from Jeff, which he got…
The crowd hates X’XXX as much as I do. And she still doesn’t get it!
Where’s the Fan Favorite? Too much downsizing this season…
And why the heck can’t we get a simple update from Jefra, Jeremiah or Lindsey? I think there should always be time to get a couple sentences out of EVERYONE who played, so can you hook a brother up next time? I wanna hear if Lindsey still wants to punch Trish in the bridle…
And then, the moment I’ve been waiting for all night: the reveal of Survivor 29…
Blood vs. Water II, Survivor: San Juan Del Sur, in Nicaragua . A quick check of Wikipedia reveals that all the players will be new so there are no former players going in with an unfair advantage. I’m really looking forward to it and I hope you are too. Survivor: Sabotage will have to be put on ice for now.
I think that’ll wrap it up for Season 28 of Survivor. From my opening crack that it’d be about Boob Jobs and more, I’m glad you stuck by me and my personal follies and foibles. I hope I did not offend too much, and if I did, I think you might be reading the wrong recap. As mentioned, I love to hear from you and anything you have to say about Survivor, reality television, SNL, Idol, Under The Dome, PGA golf, travel, vodka, Hollywood , sarcasm, boobs and/or nudity, so send in your questions…or pics! Oh behave!
So now, I am pleased to reveal the final four players in my Ranking of All Survivor Players. I hope you’ve enjoyed the list and the comments. I endeavor to post one more column very soon with the addition of Season 28 players to the list, and then hopefully see you all in September (?) for Season 29, Blood vs. Water II. Take care, everyone. Maybe I’ll see you on Twitter. And trust me, I’m not stalking you…
Passionately,
The Fish
#dafuqdafish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Thanks for a great season of recaps Bryan. I agree about Woo, he def. gave it away. When I was watching it, I felt like he was being honorable etc., but by the next day, I started feeling like he really should have taken Kass. In the entire game, he voted out people to get himself to the end. Then, we he won the power to decide his fate, and he’d won that honorably in the challenge, he then picked the wrong person. Tony did deserve to win over Kass and Woo, and maybe even Spencer too. It was a great season. I agree about the fan favorite. I think a lot of people are bummed they don’t do that anymore. And yeah, what’s with such a limited amount of updates from the players. Nothing on the fight with Kass/Trish or Lindsay/Trish. Nothing else about why Lindsay quit? We get to see more of Morgan’s boobs, I mean odious personality. ‘m sorry guys, she’s NOT that pretty. And yuck, thanks Jeff (not!) for the quick check on XXX. She really looks like a bird-sort of reminds me of the road runner cartoon’s face….I And man, what a dud LJ has turned out to be. Does that guy even have a pulse? He seems like a zombie. And why was Kass always called a goat? Is that some new reference I don’t know about? Why not a sheep? I’m not that thrilled for Blood Vs Water II. I didn’t find it that great the 1st time but I’ll stay hopeful. As for the rest of the summer….are you a Big Brother Fan? I hope its a better season this year. At least we have 24 to get us through the summer.
Great wrap up and I totally agree with your Survivor Greats ratings.
What Kass said to her husband about everyone views her as a bitch because she’s a woman and would consider her tough if she was a guy, totally bugs. It’s an excuse that women use and sometimes I agree with. If any guy acted like Kass did this season, they would totally be called a tool and not tough.
Thank you both for all the comments all season. You’re two of my favorites! Here are a few random thoughts…
My take on Woo hasn’t changed. I do find it an incredibly honorable thing to do, but this is a game. And when you come onto it, you (should) do so with the mentality of “whatever it takes to win.” The “whatever” part may adjust through the course of the season, but the “to win” part should be constant. It’s too much of a slap in the face to everyone else who would love to be there to throw it away on doing what’s “honorable”…
I’ve always contended it was a GOOD season. I guess what I’m looking for to categorize a season GREAT is that we have great challenges, personalities and competitions, and not so much drama, blindsides, jerks, bitches, and fighting. I like reality COMPETITIONS, not reality tv. Just my preference…
Yeah, I get you about Morgan. She’s not THAT pretty, it’s just those boobs are so overwhelming. It’s just a guy thing (some guys wouldn’t agree)… It’s not like she has a supermodel body either, but those boobs…
Yeah. J’XXX is so YUCK! I don’t get ANYTHING about that psycho. Go away forever!
I think the goat reference is simply because she set herself up as the reason for so many failures (by other people). IDK…
LJ looks like he got rejected by all the women at Ponderosa and he’s been cuckolded…
I think B vs. W was great the first time around because it introduced emotions every week. Not drama, real emotions.
Never watched BB. Won’t start now. Even if they put Russell on it!
Yes, I get watch you’re saying about Kass. She was just looking for a justification for all her actions but she should have just owned that she tried to play a certain way and it didn’t work out…unless she was just trying to come in second and maximize her winnings. Could be…
Thanks, girls! Enjoy the summer!
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