By the way…anyone seen Trish?
Oh, here she is, reading Treemail, which lets us know that the Immunity Challenge may involve shooting baskets. Let’s see…who may have some of that experience in their repertoire? Uh-oh, it’s the guy that everyone wants out of the tribe. So what should we do?
“Let’s throw the challenge.”
So dumb. Just never a good option. In this game, numbers mean everything so you should never throw a challenge (unless we’re talking about Billy in Season 13 whose snoring was BIG problem for his tribe). So, unless Cliff is snoring, you win challenges and go to a merge/tribe swap strong. At least that’s the way I see it. Of course, the one thing that Sarah COULD do is approach Cliff and – I don’t know – TALK to him about what Tony told her he overheard, but that would be asking too much from cop…
“Yeah, I saw that guy over there robbing a bank.”
“Oh, well, I guess he’s guilty then. I guess I’ll go shoot him…”
So dumb. There seems to be a lot of that going around these days.
The challenge involves releasing five buoys from underwater and shooting them into a basket so there’s plenty of opportunity to throw the challenge. And unfortunately, it looks like it’s the Brain tribe that’s trying to throw it. J’Tia goes out first to release the “easy” one (3 feet deep) and can’t even handle that simple task. After two attempts, she’s still empty handed and has to return to the dock to tag out.
By the way, J’Tia, when you fail your tribe like that, try to swim back with some effort! That backwards-doggie-paddle-synchronized swimmer-kick is not cutting it. Seriously, this bi*ch has to go!
And while the Brawn tribe (well, Sarah and Trish) are doing their best to throw the challenge, no one can compete with the incompetence of the Brains. Now, it’s Kass’s turn to return empty handed to the dock… Did we somehow get transported to the Bill Murray film, Meatballs? Is the Brain tribe Camp North Star and everyone else is Camp Mohawk ? Is J’Tia…Spaz. Is Jeff Probst going to start announcing the challenges via loudspeaker? And are we going to find Mark Burnett (Morty) awaken in a bed tied up in a tree…?
The Beauties are the first team to retrieve all their buoys and Jeremiah makes quick work of the shooting aspect. These guys are good! It’s like he was 5 for 6 from the line and just destroyed the challenge. Immunity for the Beauts!
And with the Brawn tribe’s plan to blow the challenge coming to fruition (Sarah and Trish are active participants), the Brains even have a small lead – due to Spencer taking over the challenge for them – but they’re still a total mess. Even with a lead over the TEAM THROWING THE CHALLENGE, when it comes to J’Tia and Kass retrieving the missed shots by Spencer, they are so inept that the Brawn tribe (due to Woo and Cliff’s diving) is now shooting. Cliff is obviously handling this aspect, but he’s no Jeremiah.
It almost looks like the Brawn plan may happen, since Cliff is having trouble making the last shot, but so is Spencer. Finally, Cliff sinks the winning shot. So, despite some doing everything they could to lose a challenge, the Brawn tribe wins immunity too. I guess Sarah realizes the ridiculousness of the situation (and the Brain tribe) and concedes,
“They deserve to lose after that…”
Let’s hope they deserve to lose J’Tia…
As the Brain…wait, scratch that…as the Lobotomies return to camp, Spencer is making the “I’m not disappointed in any ONE player, I’m just upset we lost.” But everyone knows why they lost this challenge. There’s one person who hasn’t done anything helpful for their tribe, and let’s hope she’s not handling any nuclear secrets or responsibilities for the United States .
With J’Tia off somewhere, Spencer takes the moment to tell Tasha and Kass that the tribe will be stronger keeping him and losing J’Tia. He knows he’s on the outskirts in his tribe, but he’s got to try to do something. His perfect argument is that, “if you take me out now, you’ll continue to lose and they’ll just take you out one-by-one.” Makes perfect sense to me. They should have thought of that before they voted out Garrett!
Later, Tasha and Kass discuss what their best move is and agree that their tribe is best served by keeping Spencer. While they don’t want to reveal anything to J’Tia (so she stays NON-PSYCHO) they don’t even want to tell Spencer what they’re planning on doing. Tasha confirms what we all wanted to hear…
“I’m still pissed about the rice…”
But yet, she’s not so pissed that she’ll stick to her word. Tasha is like an incredibly emotional friend you have that keeps changing her mind and won’t make a frickin’ decision. She talks about loyalty and “what happens after the tribe swap” but who cares if you’re taking a lame duck with you?! You think having J’Tia in an alliance will mean dick if you merge? She’s obviously the WORST player ever on Survivor and everyone will see that. Having an alliance with someone like her will bring anyone affiliated with her down. I’m having notions of voting out Tasha now, just because she’s entertaining the idea of keeping J’dumbf**k another day.
BTW, if you think I was hard on Colton last season, just wait to see what happens if she sticks around another episode…
Off to Tribal Council we go…
And holy sh*t, 28 seasons of Survivor, and I’ve never seen Jeff Probst speechless. He just raises his hands, shrugs his shoulders, and gives the Lobots a “What The F**k, guys?” look… Priceless.
And in his questions to the tribe, he touches on all the things we’re feeling inside.
She’s weak in challenges…
She threw out most of your rice…
What is loyalty when your tribe is decimated?
And while he’s asking Spencer and X’XXX (I can’t even type her name anymore, this is what it’ll be from now on…) Jeff notices that Tasha and Kass are whispering back and forth about who to vote for. Come on, ladies. Make a friggin’ decision! It’s not unheard of to make a grand statement at Tribal and say, “F**k it, let’s vote off the dumb bi*ch” or “let’s vote off Spencer” but instead, they’d rather play footsies under the table and try to be coy. Just make a friggin’ decision… I think Jeff hates Tribals like this…
So while Tasha is looking like a fragile little girl waiting for someone to tell her what to do, it’s time to vote!
And right about now I’m wondering why no one’s even mentioned the possibility of, “Hey, let’s tie the vote and see who’s more deserving.” But I guess nothing that involves any amount of deeper thought would occur to this tribe. And seriously, do we have to keep calling them a tribe…?
And once Probst reads the votes, I finally get some peace as X’XXX is voted out. Spencer almost seems to collapse from the weight of this Tribal Council, but he promises his undying allegiance to Tasha and Kass.
Not sure any of this means anything positive for this tribe, but it makes me a little happier. Hopefully, the remaining 3 will form a bond that carries them into a tribe swap, and then a merge, and who knows what? I recall Probst giving Spencer no chance of winning this game, wonder what he thought of him just then…?
We see in the tease for next week that a tribe swap is coming, so maybe the Brains made the wrong decision. What? No, I’m kidding. They made the right decision, but let’s see how this tribe swap is going to affect all the alliances that have formed. It’s rare that almost EVERYONE seems to be in an alliance, so let’s hope that means good things for the future of this season. Can’t wait to see what happens next week.
I’m going to spend every night skimming through the rest of the seasons, and will hopefully have something to tease of my own next week. I appreciate any comments that are sent in, and I’ll respond personally to every comment and email I receive. I’m endeavoring to be as entertaining as possible, and I hope you’re finding something to put a smile on your face. And just wanna say that I’m sorry if anyone is offended by my sophomoric jokes about the female anatomy. It IS at the top of the page, though…
Have a great week!
XXXX
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish
Great recap. I always come to this site for my Survivor fix. Thanks for the laughs and I concur about X’XXX. Although she was sort of entertaining, when she couldn’t put the flag on the platform, or hoist it, I was done with her.
The scene with the beauties ruminating over chicken reproduction habits was priceless, and seems to be featured every season. You would think these people would have watched the show. But then again, some of them come on not knowing how to swim, light a fire, etc.
Another perfect recap – always enjoying checking in Thursday morning to get your thoughts.
After watching 95% of the Survivor seasons in full, I think for the first time I actually felt Spencer’s frustration and helplessness during both the immunity and reward challenges. Let’s hope this tribe swap works out for him, hate to see to him go so soon. And Cliff too!
Hi Brian,
Thanks again for a great recap. They are always fun to read and I think its really nice of you to respond to the comments. Why do you think they are not giving the “Brains” team a chance to find Garrett’s idol? Can’t they just re-hide it? I also think its kinda funny that Spencer almost out shot a pro basketball player, though I do like Cliff. He seems to be having fun and has a good attitude. I was glad there was not too much of Cops “R” Us this episode. As much as I want to root for them, Tony and Sara are really annoying. And hey, if you are going to make boob jokes (which I don’t mind, and I’m even a woman!), you have to include Tony. He’s about a C-cup.
Love the side notes! I was thinking the same thing, that the posts were placed at that height on purpose for sake of free sterilizations but I didn’t notice Morgan’s name obscuring her chest, it must be a guy thing but as a woman myself I must say she does have a nice rack.
Hi everyone,
(realitythis) I know why contestants like X’XXX are sought out, because producer’s love when the cast “stirs the pot,” but as a fan I wanna see good competitors, not failures. And it’s always surprising that people come on the show who can’t swim/can’t swim well. You know there’s going to be swimming every season! Get in the pool and practice…
(kjones) Thank you! As much as Spencer came across as a tool in his intro video, he’s pulled me over to his side. It always sucks when players get stuck on a shitty tribe or on the “other side” of an alliance. Let’s see what the swap does for him… I think Cliff will be fine once people start talking amongst themselves. I think he’ll be surprised (pissed) once he finds out he’s supposedly said something against Sarah… Can’t wait for the fallout!
(kinbville) Nice to see you again! It hadn’t even occurred to me about Garrett’s idol. Good question. Maybe they (the show) knew the swap was coming up and held off. But, they should at least give players the chance to save themselves… And point taken on Tony. Funny stuff! I’ll work it in next week…
(susieduck) Definitely a guy thing, but also a post-production thing (that’s what I do in the real world). When you place a lower third (an identifying graphic at the bottom of the frame — the “lower third” of the frame — you typically place it off of people so it doesn’t interfere with their image). I’m just saying there’s another way to do it where we both win… 😉
Stay tuned!
Love your writing style! Wish you would do Amazing Race too – that would be awesome!
(socalhh) I wish I had the time to do that show too. I am a HUGE fan of it as well but it’s just such a huge endeavor to write one column, let alone two (not sure family would approve, either!). Perhaps I’ll be able to include a few sentences each week in my Survivor column about TAR, but no promises. Especially with my major announcement coming this week.
Looking at the clock I can see Survivor is about to start so I need to dig into that, but check out tomorrow’s recap for the reveal the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! I hope it goes as well as I’ve anticipated. Thanks for the support!