Day 9 at the Brains camp: Treemail offers up that the Reward challenge may involve being blindfolded and then directed by a tribe member. Those Brainiacs are good at one thing, that I’ll give them, they’re good at practicing! I haven’t seen a lot of times when tribes practiced before a challenge, but they are called “Brains” for a reason. They head off and practice having Tasha as the “caller” and the others blindfolded to retrieve items. Seems to be a good plan until we see J’Tia hunched over like Quasimodo afraid to bump into a wall at Notre Dame.
How the hell did she get on this show?!
At the Challenge, we see that the Brains’ practicing may actually pay off. We knew from last week’s tease this is going to be a bumpy ride… Watch your knees and nuts, you chipmunks! The Challenge is similar to ones in the past, where pairs of blindfolded castaways are directed to items by a caller. However, there is one added element: the retrieved items must be hoisted up to the caller by the blindfoldees using a two-person pulley system. Sounds cool.
During the challenge, the Brains retrieve the first item quickly but have some trouble with the hoisting of the item and it falls off. Totally unsurprisingly, it’s J’Tia who fails to do her part of the hoisting, just standing there like an idiot. They’re able to get the item up but not before the Beauty tribe blows past them and gets their first item up.
The Beauties are apparently made for this challenge. Their communication is flawless as LJ and Jefra are able to breeze through the challenge with Alexis handling calling duties. And when I say breeze, I mean…LJ gets his nuts repeatedly smashed against the wood posts that serve as barriers.
Side note: while this challenge is an instant classic, don’t you think the wood posts could have been set up a bit higher…or padded? They seemed to be built at that height where a certain part of the body could experience multiple and dangerous collisions. Perhaps the game designers thought the callers would be doing a better job of protecting their tribemates, but I can’t recall any time a caller said, “Watch out for the post in front of you. You’re risking sterilization…”
Regardless, the Beauties and Brains are almost neck-and-neck in retrieving the last item, so all they have to do is get their flag and hoist it up. The Beauties do a fantastic job of that and win the reward, so all the Brains have to do is get their flag back and hoist away. The Brawn tribe is on their last item (prior to the flag) so all the Brains have to do is get it up to Tasha. And then everything falls apart.
Somehow J’Tia and Tasha are replaced by two Keystone Kops because between the two of them, they can’t figure out how to communication and say, “Pick up the flag and put it on the platform. Okay, now move the flag 1 foot forward. Good. Now hoist…”
But no, the entire time is spent by J’Tia (on her knees) being unable to figure out how to place the flag properly on the hoist, or if she should be moving her hand or the flag, or I don’t know what. In the meantime, the Brawn team rushes back and are able to hoist their flag up, finishing second and winning a dozen eggs. Brain tribe is skunked…
Right about now I’m asking myself (again), “Is J’Tia a f**king idiot?” There is – I don’t know – one requirement to being on the brain tribe. You must have a brain. In 3 short weeks, she’s proven to be:
Overbearing
Overly bossy
Overconfident
A poor swimmer
Panic-stricken
Paranoid
Susceptible to fits of psychoses
And I don’t how many other things. I simply cannot recall someone who is so ill-equipped to be on this show. And I’m the one reviewing all these past episodes, remember?! Seriously, this woman is a moron. I swear to god if she makes it deep into this season I’m going to punch my hairstylist in the mouth. Simply because she has an apostrophe in her name…
Thankfully, J’Tia has some supportive words for her tribe…
“It’s alright, we did a good job.”
No, you did not do a good job. THEY did a good job and you’re an idiot…
The Beauty tribe returns to camp with their spoils and have a lively discussion about how chickens lay eggs and how the rooster fits into that process. LJ is amused/annoyed at how stupid his tribe is…but he should just be glad he’s not on the Brains tribe! Alexis is so cute asking a lot of dumb questions, which I’m sure she’ll be embarrassed about now that she’s researched the whole chicken/egg/rooster process back at home. So, realizing they have a chicken to spare, they decide to eat one. Sorry, Pres. Obama is not around to pardon you, little buddy.
Jeremiah does the honor of tearing off the chicken’s head rather than just breaking it, but what the hell, I can’t say I’ve ever done that either. Morgan, who is happy to eat some poultry, is also annoyed that Jeremiah is the one who did it, since she’s still pissed at him. She’s also trying to figure out why he’s on the Beauty tribe…since he looks like a swarthy southern pirate to her.
Side note: To the post-production staff, if you’re going to put up Morgan’s name with a lower third, can you position it on the other side of the screen so it doesn’t cover up her chest? Yeah, that would be great… Thanks a lot…
And things are beginning to stir at the Brawn tribe. Maybe that extra shot of protein from those dozen eggs has given everyone a shot of testosterone? Lindsey is fretting to Cliff they have to stick together but Cliff’s more interested in witnessing some blind sides. Sarah observes how tight the two of them are, but considering it’s all based on the lie Tony told her about them plotting against Sarah, it’s understandable she’s paranoid. Sarah informs us that she wants to get rid of Cliff (could the commercials have given away the outcome?) or are they just steering us down the wrong path?
Sarah pulls Woo aside to see if he’d be willing to turn on Cliff (would Robin turn on Batman?) but he’s up for it since Cliff is already fat in the bankroll department (or however he said it). But he’s good to go to pull the trigger on Cliff, and feels it’s “the young ones” time to win a million dollars. Tony sees the two of them talking and approaches, which scares off Woo. This, of course, makes Tony a little nervous, but he grabs Sarah to reaffirm their alliance: Cops R Us. (Shouldn’t the “R” be backwards, Geoffrey…?) He swears he’ll stay tight with her on everything that’s holy to him: his family, his badge, his honor, but then tells us in ITM that none of that means anything to him. He’s here to lie and cheat? I don’t know about you, but is this the way you want your cops to be behaving? Sometime tells me he’s not going to win this game…
Great recap. I always come to this site for my Survivor fix. Thanks for the laughs and I concur about X’XXX. Although she was sort of entertaining, when she couldn’t put the flag on the platform, or hoist it, I was done with her.
The scene with the beauties ruminating over chicken reproduction habits was priceless, and seems to be featured every season. You would think these people would have watched the show. But then again, some of them come on not knowing how to swim, light a fire, etc.
Another perfect recap – always enjoying checking in Thursday morning to get your thoughts.
After watching 95% of the Survivor seasons in full, I think for the first time I actually felt Spencer’s frustration and helplessness during both the immunity and reward challenges. Let’s hope this tribe swap works out for him, hate to see to him go so soon. And Cliff too!
Hi Brian,
Thanks again for a great recap. They are always fun to read and I think its really nice of you to respond to the comments. Why do you think they are not giving the “Brains” team a chance to find Garrett’s idol? Can’t they just re-hide it? I also think its kinda funny that Spencer almost out shot a pro basketball player, though I do like Cliff. He seems to be having fun and has a good attitude. I was glad there was not too much of Cops “R” Us this episode. As much as I want to root for them, Tony and Sara are really annoying. And hey, if you are going to make boob jokes (which I don’t mind, and I’m even a woman!), you have to include Tony. He’s about a C-cup.
Love the side notes! I was thinking the same thing, that the posts were placed at that height on purpose for sake of free sterilizations but I didn’t notice Morgan’s name obscuring her chest, it must be a guy thing but as a woman myself I must say she does have a nice rack.
Hi everyone,
(realitythis) I know why contestants like X’XXX are sought out, because producer’s love when the cast “stirs the pot,” but as a fan I wanna see good competitors, not failures. And it’s always surprising that people come on the show who can’t swim/can’t swim well. You know there’s going to be swimming every season! Get in the pool and practice…
(kjones) Thank you! As much as Spencer came across as a tool in his intro video, he’s pulled me over to his side. It always sucks when players get stuck on a shitty tribe or on the “other side” of an alliance. Let’s see what the swap does for him… I think Cliff will be fine once people start talking amongst themselves. I think he’ll be surprised (pissed) once he finds out he’s supposedly said something against Sarah… Can’t wait for the fallout!
(kinbville) Nice to see you again! It hadn’t even occurred to me about Garrett’s idol. Good question. Maybe they (the show) knew the swap was coming up and held off. But, they should at least give players the chance to save themselves… And point taken on Tony. Funny stuff! I’ll work it in next week…
(susieduck) Definitely a guy thing, but also a post-production thing (that’s what I do in the real world). When you place a lower third (an identifying graphic at the bottom of the frame — the “lower third” of the frame — you typically place it off of people so it doesn’t interfere with their image). I’m just saying there’s another way to do it where we both win… 😉
Stay tuned!
Love your writing style! Wish you would do Amazing Race too – that would be awesome!
(socalhh) I wish I had the time to do that show too. I am a HUGE fan of it as well but it’s just such a huge endeavor to write one column, let alone two (not sure family would approve, either!). Perhaps I’ll be able to include a few sentences each week in my Survivor column about TAR, but no promises. Especially with my major announcement coming this week.
Looking at the clock I can see Survivor is about to start so I need to dig into that, but check out tomorrow’s recap for the reveal the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! I hope it goes as well as I’ve anticipated. Thanks for the support!