SURVIVOR: BLOOD VS WATER FINALE – 12/15

Final Jury starts with opening words from each survivor. Gervase’s remarks seem unpolished and too “in your face,” in my opinion. His feeling that he brought “old school and new school” just seems better as thoughts than words.

Monica’s belief is that she’s made her big moves by not making any big moves. This way, she can say she stuck to her guns and kept the blood off her hands.

Tyson goes the emotion route and sobs as he says the only reason he was there on day 39 is because he let Rachel down. Because after she left, he re-committed himself to winning the game. A good move, the crying, but let’s see if anyone’s swayed by it…

Finally, the moment we’ve been waiting for all season. Besides the reading of the final vote, this is the thing I’ve been looking forward to. And for the love of all things holy, can someone pull some Susan Hawk/Brenda Lowe stuff out of their a**?! I don’t want to hear, “Tell me why you voted me out?” “What was the biggest move you made?” “Pick a number between 1 and 10” crap. I want to hear some hardcore s**t that makes for good television. That’s why they make the show!

Do you think they make this show so someone can win a million bucks!? Hell no. They make it for the entertainment value. And drama is entertainment. Let’s see what they can come up with:

Vytas: Not really a question, more like a dialogue on his thought process. He tells Tyson that he wasn’t going to give him his jury vote, and he’s sticking to that. He tells Gervase that “old school” doesn’t mean s**t in Survivor. And Monica upset him because she turned on him. So…he’s going to watch what unfolds.
Prediction: Undecided

Katie: Asks Tyson why he was rude to her after voting her out. I remember what he said and it seemed like he was trying to be funny rather than mean. He apologizes and hopes she can move past it. We’ll see if she can…
Prediction: Monica

Caleb: Asks Gervase what his big move was. (Seriously!?) Asks Monica what she can reveal from the heart. She does…waterworks…sympathy votes for sure…
Prediction: Monica

Ciera: Asks Tyson if he’s a villain. He says he’s not, it’s all been strategy. Then asks Gervase if he ever considered voting out Tyson. He said he considered it, but chose not to because then he would have been next.
Prediction: Monica

Laura: Asks Monica if she can be vulnerable and reveal something about herself. At first, Monica seems off put that she’s being asked, but as she speaks, she unwittingly peels off layer after layer and does exactly what Laura asked. She opens up… I think she just got Laura’s vote…
Prediction: Monica

Tina: Wants one word to describe each person’s core. (Really?) You sure you don’t want them to tell you their favorite number and if it’s yours you’ll give them your vote? Crap, come up with a friggin’ question… There’s “old school” stupid for you…
Prediction: Monica

Hayden: (oh snap, the way he just sauntered up looks like he’s about to unload) Instead, he asks Tyson where the idol was. He asks Monica to open up (hasn’t she done enough of that already?). Whatever… Fail…go back to Big Brother…!
Prediction: Monica

Aras: (in the coveted “third base” spot) Asks all three to give him a reason why he should give his vote to the other two. All answers are spot on accurate and reveal nothing. Except when Tyson says that he should vote for Monica, which I’m sure surprised Gervase…
Prediction: Tyson

So with that, it’s time to vote. My predictions above were based on what I just heard and not after watching the final vote. I’m probably a bit off, but it just seems like Monica connected with many of them on an emotional level and sometimes that wins votes after the jury members have been getting fat at Ponderosa. And spending time away from the game helps players remembers who they are and what’s important. So Jeff grabs the voting box and takes us to:

CBS Television City – about a mile from where I live so it always kills me I’ve never gone to a finale – Jeff reads the votes.

Monica
Tyson
Tyson
Tyson
Tyson
Tyson

5 votes will do it! Tyson wins!

So maybe I overestimated all those feelings from Monica (she received one vote). And I guess Gervase’s “old school” theory is just crap (shut out…0 votes!).

So now, I’m not going to recap the entire Reunion show because it’s just a lot of highlights, plaudits, and updates on how everyone’s doing. But that’s not the show. Tyson won so let’s update the Wikipedia page and look forward to next season: Brawn vs. Brains vs. Boob Jobs. However, there were a couple interesting points that Jeff touched on during the Reunion Show:

– Colton is still a fool. His comment about being on a tribe with AARP is just disrespectful and not funny and reveals that he’s not even aware that his choices are poor. While he may excuse them away as just jokes, they reveal a deeper insecurity that only growing up can repair. Let’s hope he fixes that…but does it in the privacy of his own home and not on national television. I read a quote a few months ago where Jeff said Colton could come back in a future season, however he’s not a fan of Colton, “He will not be back if I have anything to do with it, but many people vote [and not just me].” So let’s hope that Jeff wins that argument…

– For a bit of levity we revisit the Kat line about “Who wants to date someone who doesn’t make the merge,” and while that’s not that interesting, what I enjoyed was hearing that Kat wanted to share with everyone that she got a boob job (“a bit top heavy,” she called it), yet Jeff didn’t want to “go there” on national television. Jeff, it’s after 10pm, don’t worry about the kids who may be watching… And Kat, if you’re going to go boob job, show some cleavage. That’s the point…

– We then get to hear about the recent tragedy suffered by Tina and Katie. Nothing really to add other than we can all learn something from the strength shown by these two fine ladies. Please buckle up or donate to redcross.org

– I guess Marissa had nothing to say? Or see what you get when you yell “F**k you…” on national TV. I wonder if the censors determined that she wouldn’t speak?

So I guess that’s it for this season. It’s been a pleasure bringing you these recaps and having the opportunity to amuse you. I hope I put a smile on your face once or twice. I really wish I could spend more time writing and making these better, but deadlines are deadlines. It’s now almost 3:30am and I still have some editing to do.

I hope to be able to bring these to you next season, so fingers crossed on that. Either way, I’ll endeavor to stay active on Twitter, just in case I think of something funny to say.

So until next time, Namaste, bitches…

Fish

Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish