Wow.
Just wow.
I don’t even really know how to write about the first 40 minutes of the show without getting right to the end of tonight’s episode, but I’m going to try. Here’s my best shot.
The episode begins back at the Gota camp, where everyone is thinking it will be the turning point of the season for their tribe. Everyone except Sherri, that is. She’s the only one who sees darkness on the horizon, after voting out a member of their own alliance in order to keep “the muscle” around to help win some challenges. And, all their justification was that Laura (that was her name, right???) was the worst swimmer. Good one – because ALL challenges incorporate swimming of some sort. And, there’s no way you can just take her off the swimming portion of challenges, either. So, good decision.
Was all this talk about turning point a foreshadowing of things to come? I guess we’ll know in a few short moments.
Oh, and Reynold played the Idol so that he could be honest with the tribe at Tribal?!? As if you said anything new you hadn’t already told them while going through all your one-on-one sessions with everyone. All you kept talking about was how the tribe would be better off by keeping you because you’d help win in challenges, and that Laura failed Home Economics in the 7th grade, so she’s obviously not fit for the game of Survivor. Please – you were scared of getting voted out, so you used it, don’t try and make it seem like it’s a good thing you lost your Idol, and you’d gladly use it again, just so you could talk sh*t about everyone at Tribal. Go do another push-up or something.
Over on the Bikal beach, Brandon’s losing it. He’s cracking under the pressure of leaving his family. Um, you remembered how hard of a time you had the last time you played this game, right? You knew how hard it was going to be, so if you already knew that, why’d you accept the offer to come back and play it. And, isn’t like day 10 only – I think your family is fine, dude. Hell, seeing how you act, I’m sure they’re wishing Survivor was a year-round game, and you were going to make it all the way to the end, so they’d have longer without you.
With how bad he’s feeling, he tells the tribe he wants to be voted out the next time they lose an Immunity challenge and they go to Tribal. P*ssy talk. I think the Producers should make a rule that if ANYBODY says this, they get sent home immediately! I’m so tired of hearing this BS every damn season, where this person wants to go home, but wakes up the next morning feeling great, all ready to attack the day and the challenges ahead. Yes, I understand everyone reaches a point like that during this game, but just don’t offer yourself up for being voted out whenever you feel that way. Don’t bring the tribe together and tell them that, then wake up the next morning and tell them that you’ve changed your mind. You lose all your credibility that way. At least the boy who cried about wolves was crying about something that was real, and life endangering. You’re crying about being 10 days into a 1 month-long game, away from your family who KNEW you’d possibly be gone that long. Basically, what I’m trying to say is cry about offering yourself up when you’ve had non-stop diarrhea for a week and just got done sh*tting out some blood. Or, when you stupidly decided to eat that bug you found in the jungle and can’t stop throwing up blue liquid. Just give up with all this crap already.
So, we’ve voted, right? Next year, Probst is going to start showing up at camps the next morning after someone’s made the “I want you to vote me out at the next Tribal council” speech? Good, I’m glad we got that settled.
After all that non-drama went down, we head our hungry @sses over to the Reward challenge, where the tribes are fighting for some “real” food. Steaks, and some other stuff that’s not steak. Seriously, would there be a better meal to have than steak, after being starved for over a week? I think not. Even a vegan would eat that steak, creaming themselves after each bite!
I also thought it was super awkward how Jeff kept rubbing Brandon’s shoulders! Like he kept rubbing and didn’t seem to want to stop..very weird. But this was a very entertaining episode tonight! Do you think the tirade went on even longer and they had to edit some of it out?
Laura, I’m pretty sure the entire episode could have been filled with his tirade. You know the one at camp lasted a good 6 hours. They have nothing else to do, so you know he kept going on and on. And, Phillip had to return at some point, so of course he started back up again.
Hopefully, we get to see some edited-out scenes at the finale!
Yeah the shoulder rub was weird. Maybe probst was simultaneously trying to calm brandon down while being able to grab his t-shirt and yank him back if he tried to run at Phillip. Not that I believe Brandon would ever win in a fight against secret-agent-man, but Jeff was most likely trying to keep him close. Maybe a little TOO close lol. That was an awesome episode and recap. Gotta love the meltdowns.
Love your column! I read this article yesterday and I thought you might be interested as well. Just goes to show how delusional Brandon really is… 10 months later he still doesn’t get it! The full interview with Xfinity is priceless.
http://www.wetpaint.com/network/articles/survivors-brandon-hantz-im-not-crazy-but-youre-welcome-for-amazing-episode
Just wanted to say that I love your column…I’ve been a fan for while! You’re hilarious and I enjoy reading every week 🙂
The shoulder rubbing was creeping me out! It looked way too much like a guy giving his girlfriend a back rub–there was something kind of affectionate about it. This was the first episode I’ve watched this season because I didn’t care much for the so-called favorites but wanted to see what would happen. My goodness, Brandon is about as close to ‘cray cray’ (I just threw up a little typing it–blech) as one can get. I guess the Survivor folks knew he would add drama and attract viewers, but good grief, the man needs help. I thought the same thing, that his family is probably just fine with him being away. Can the Hantz family quietly fade into oblivion now? Pretty please??
I actually called my mom after the episode to see if she thought the shoulder rubbing was as awkward as I thought it was. I also said that it was probably the only time Jeff Probst will give a man a massage on camera!
I don’t even need to read that article to know what he said. He probably went on and on about how he’s not ashamed of the way he acted, everyone else was to blame, he would do it all over again if he could, possibly even taking it further, blah blah, I’m f*cking crazy, blah.
I’m sure Jeff was just trying to calm crazy boy down, but it was a tad bit creepy. But when he was giving him his directive to leave, he was squeezing his shoulders really hard in like a warning that he better behave! Even for rating I never would of let Brandon carry on like that. Poor Dawn, that woman was tore up over that! I wonder if it was more of fear of Brandon or exhaustion of the whole ordeal? Great recap!
You sorta touched on it but I just wanted to point out the difference in Phillip. Brandon was right, the first time Boston Rob literally dragged him straight into the final tribal council and he’s lucky that he had some weirdo with the bearded dude who made the rooster noise so he finished second.
This time around, he has been so much different. Though he’s still delusional and thinks he is running the game a little too much, I’m actually impressed with the ol secret agent! He was completely calm and just let Brandon do his thing, all his points in his argument were completely legitimate. Brandon was just pissed cause he was at the bottom so he attacked Phillip. And the amazing thing is that Phillip let him! Then Phillip was ballsy enough to call him out for his disrespect to his uncle he showed and just Brandon’s all around attitude of “I’m better than you because I’m a Christian (used lightly) and I have two kids at home and I’m a Hantz and I create my destiny.” Shut up.
This hasn’t even touched on the biggest point, Phillip has been an animal in the challenges. He has had a huge role in almost every single win the Favorites got.
Overall, I’m very impressed with Phillip’s new game he’s playing
Same here jdoro! I think Phillip has deserved a victory, so far. Even with how much his alliance probably makes fun of him and whatnot, he’s still somewhat running the show. Everyone is going to him for answers, and he’s giving them. I’m sure this is just the edit they’re giving us, because I’m sure they all go to each other with the same questions/concerns, but for what we’ve seen, Phillip deserves that $1 million prize. I’ve been very impressed with him. Even if he is still a tad delusional.
About the massage thing… yes, it was awkward to watch. But, it is highly effective in dealing with people who are having emotional breakdowns. Just being touched/massaged releases calming hormones, and that’s what Jeff was trying to do. They do it all the times with kids who are having meltdowns.
I must be alone, but I loved Brandon’s tirade. He’s absolutely right. Philip is a jerk, he’s delusional, and he treats everyone like he’s they’re 5 year old kids with his orders. He consistently takes credit anytime something goes right, and is quick to point the finger if something goes wrong. I probably would have lost my sh*t if I had to live with him too. Probably one of my favorite episodes of Survivor. Ever.