SURVIVOR: FANS VS FAVORITES – 2/27/13

And, people like Shamar always interest me. Studying psychology for all the years I did taught me absolutely nothing about the way childish/immature people ALWAYS feel that everyone else around them are the childish/immature ones. We always want to cater to the childish & immature crowd by giving excuses for their behavior when the truth of the matter is that is just how those folk are wound. They’re childish and immature. End of story. Something that happened to them when they were a child, or a harrowing story about their teenage years have nothing to do with their behavior. It could have something to do with how they handle certain situations – but if someone acts childish and immature, that’s just because that’s the way they are. That’s my belief – but don’t take my word for it, like I said, I learned nothing about it while studying the subject. Shamar talking about how Reynold and everybody else around camp are the ones being childish and immature was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a few weeks. “Let it be childish, then.” Quote of the decade.

Then we get the scene where Shamar talks about how he doesn’t believe he was made for this game. Look, Shamar, you fought in a war. You saw, and did things that none of us that haven’t gone through that would ever want to see/do, and you’re telling us you’re not made for THIS?? Sleep it off. Wake up tomorrow, take a long walk on the beach, slap yourself in the face a few times, and remind yourself that it’s just a reality show and these people are all there for the same reason you are – to win one million dollars. I’d never make light about war – but sh*t gets real when money is involved. And, like the great Smokey (from Friday) would say, “And you know this, mannnn!”

Let’s get away from all that drama for a second and go check in with our resident crazy, Phillip. Phillip is waxing philosophical about how he shakes and bakes the kids at his local gym with his fancy “double dribble” and “hitting all air” over guys “double [his] height.” So, to get this straight, Phillip is travelling so he can get open to shoot an air ball over guys 10 feet 10 inches tall. Ok, got it. And, hearing him tell it, I don’t not believe something like that has happened in his lifetime. In fact, I’m going to search Youtube for that footage. I’m sure it’s out there. Also, who wouldn’t look at Phillip and not think he was a pro basketball player at one point in his life.

If you thought Reynold had an easy time finding the idol, you haven’t seen anything yet. Because, Malcolm and Corinne take a lazy stroll in the jungle, brush through a bush, then walk up to a tree and just happen upon the idol that’s laying right in the crook of the trunk. Why don’t they just start hanging the idol from a branch or something? Or, maybe mail it back to someone after they’ve applied for the show. “Hey So-or-So, welcome to the show. We didn’t feel like hiding this b*tch anymore, so here it is; the “hidden” Immunity Idol. Congratulations on coming in 7th place.”

Aren’t we all glad Andrea got to spend time on Survivor before this season, so that she could learn that she should always be thinking! That’s definitely something the education system we have in place is missing out on – teaching kids to think. Well, thank you, Andrea for taking over for the teachers of today and for telling the kids of tomorrow’s generations that it’s a great idea to remain in thought for all of your time on this earth. And, during your time on Survivor. We’re also glad that thinking led you to talking to Brandon and telling him that you want him on your side, and that you should get rid of Corinne. And, for also thinking that you shouldn’t be talking so much to everyone around camp, because you’re worried that it may get back to the person you’re trying to betray. I think one of your thoughts should have told you that talking to Brandon wasn’t the smartest idea. The reason for that is because the entire time you were talking, all Brandon heard was “This blonde b*tch is lying. Kill her. Stab her in the vagina. Not with your penis, your wife and kids would hate that. With a twig. But, wait, first pee in the rice. Then pee in the beans. And, then, once you’ve done that, burn the entire camp down. The producers won’t stop you. You’re crazy. Wait, what is this girl talking about? I’m safe. Oh, ok cool. Hold off on that plan for the time being, but keep it handy just in case…” Maybe we shouldn’t teach some of these kids to continue thinking at all times. Let’s let some people make decisions for those who need help with making GOOD decisions.

Let’s head on back to the Gota side of things and hear more from Shamar. You know, because NOBODY else is on that tribe. We all knew that at some point, we were going to get the whole story about how he was in the war, and what happened when he came back from it all. I can’t even imagine how difficult of a transition that is for soldiers to make, so in no way, shape, or form will I make fun of him for going through what he did. I’m thankful for his service, and for doing something I’m MUCH too coward to do myself. I have no problem admitting someone like Shamar is a bigger person than I am when it comes to going to war. 

But, we shouldn’t try and equate what happened with that to what was happening with him inside this game. That dark place he went to when he came back from the war was NOT the same place he was going to right now, dealing with Reynold and Eddie. He wants to quit Survivor because he knows he has no chance of winning. It’s that simple. He got off on the complete wrong foot, and he knows he has absolutely not shot of winning this game, so that’s why he wants to quit. He suffers from that disease where, how does the saying go, “If you go through life thinking everyone around you is crazy (or childish/immature), at what point do you start thinking it may be you?” That’s what is happening to him in this game. He wants to quit because he thinks everyone is against him, but of course we get the obligatory change of heart scene where he talks to Sherri and Laura, and then gives some speech about loyalty and how they’ve shown it to him and he respects them for it. Blabbity blah blah blah. We all knew you weren’t going anywhere to begin with. Survivor just needs someone to go through this at one point each season to show just how tough it is to be on the show.

Let’s just get to the Immunity challenge already. The fans team is just all in shambles, I really can’t see them winning any team competitions until it’s something that may just come down to dumb luck, or a competition where one person can win it all for them – kind of like the one Reynold won for them with his bean bag tosses. The fans fell behind early with Laura’s terrible swimming, got themselves a lead due to the Favorites allowing Brandon to take charge for some odd reason (idea – let Malcolm do everything for you, ok?), but eventually lost the challenge because they, for some odd reason, wouldn’t switch out Eddie when he so miserably tried to hook that third pin. Why wouldn’t they have switched him out for anyone? I don’t know if the rules stated that someone who ringed one couldn’t throw again, but I would have let Reynold or even Shamar throw again. Hell, let Hope have a shot at it – she couldn’t have been any worse than Eddie was. But, yes, you need Eddie to win those challenges, right? People who read this blog always think I’m the sexist one – how sexist are all these tribes each and every year to always assume that they need the guys on their team to do well in competitions? Eddie has already proven himself worthless, it’s not like these competitions are wrestling or weight lifting. They almost always have puzzles involved, so keeping girls around isn’t always the worst idea.

Oh God, more from Shamar. Now he’s calling Reynold ‘disgusting’ and he’s telling him not to talk to him anymore. Why not throw in a “Talk to the hand, Reynold!” Or, “Oh yeah, I had sex with your mom” joke? The number one rule about dealing with children who are misbehaving is to NOT become a child yourself with your mannerisms and way of speaking. If you think someone is being childish and immature, Shamar, the last thing you should do is stoop to their level and act childish, too. Let it be childish, then. Like you said, homey. Let it be childish, then. Don’t you go being childish anymore. It’s getting old. This is only the third episode and I’m already tired of seeing you, hearing you talk, hearing you whine about Reynold’s bulge being bigger than yours, etc. Get over it – these people don’t like you. Instead of feeding into that, why not try and mix it up, talk to these people like a regular human being, apologize even if you don’t mean it, and get back in their good graces. You’re never going to win Survivor if everyone hates you. Aren’t you supposed to be a fan of this show? Have you even watched a season before?