Then, we finally meet Katie, over at Kalabaw. Former Miss Delaware on the island. I’m really liking where this season is going. Panty party in the Philippines.
Back at Matsing, Russell is showing off his mastery of this game. He finds the clue for the hidden immunity idol and figures the best place to read it is right on the beach, in the wide open, while Frankenstein is swimming nearby! Good idea, Leader Russell. Don’t go in the woods or anything. I mean, do you not see all those tall trees and bushes you’re standing next to? I’m thinking you might be able to find yourself a spot or two where people wouldn’t see you. And, that leads me to another question about Survivor. You always see the fly-over scenes where they show you this huge island that you are living on, but I have to imagine they have it sectioned off so that you can only move about so far. I have to imagine it would be very easy to get yourself lost in the forest, and possibly even have it hard for production to then find you if you wandered off too far. You always have the scenes where people are off talking in the woods and then someone walks up on them, but in a wooded area so deep and wide, you’d have to imagine it would be easy enough to ALWAYS find a secret place where nobody is going to just walk up on you. But, I think the production staff is smart enough to wall off areas they’re not allowed to pass up, therefore making it harder to get secrecy. But, still, even with that said, this idiot still goes and reads this clue on the beach! He might as well have just went swimming and opened it underwater, without goggles. Dummy!
At the Immunity Challenge, we learn that two tribes get Immunity, and this is what I don’t like. So, now it’s just about not losing. I don’t like that. It’s like sports these days where every kid gets a ribbon. Winners are winners. First place. That’s it. Don’t give second place immunity. They didn’t win. Give one tribe the immunity, then maybe have the two tribes fight it out for who is going to tribal and who is not. I don’t know, if it wasn’t 2:00 in the morning, I’m sure I could come up with more ideas on what might be better for the game, but for right now I can’t agree with two tribes getting immunity. Cheapens the game for me, I think.
Anyway, Matsing (Russell’s tribe) blows curdled goat turd in the challenge and ends up losing by a wide margin. Kalabaw wins and Tan Dongs also win. Russell ends the session with “There’s always a next time.” Has anyone told him yet that he’s playing Survivor again? Since when is there always a next time? That’s not even true outside of Survivor. Most things in life you get one shot at, so I’m not sure where he’s going with this one. Dummy!
Zane, the perfect player for the game of Survivor, tells his tribe that he’s NOT the perfect player for this game, he’s not built for it, sucked at the challenge, and deserves to go home for it. Then, he tells us that he did that on purpose, just to see how much of a stranglehold he has on the game! Yes, great idea to do that so early in the game when all of your alliances are so strong and built up! Genius move. That won’t backfire on you AT ALL. All you had to do was realize that everyone hated Russell and was blaming him for the loss and you may have been golden for another day or two. But, no, you had to go and Frankenstein yourself.
Oh, but little Miss Angie makes an appearance, tells us she used to be Miss Teen Utah (or Miss Utah Teen as she put it – two in one season, nicely done, casting department. Well played), and tells Zane that he’s staying and that Russell needs to go. Malcolm also tells Zane that he wants him to stay, so what does Zane do? Screws it up even more by telling Malcolm he’s 100% sure that Russell has the idol. Yes, tell the guy who is trying to save you that the guy they’re going to vote out instead has an idol! Good Lord, do you not see what you are doing here? I am starting to think you lied about when you dropped out of school. I don’t think you were 17. I think you were 17 days into 1st grade when you dropped out. And, that’s saying something bad against 1st graders! Malcolm starts to question his strategy and is thinking tht it may be too early to get rid of Russell’s “muscle” and keeping the weak player. Yes, it is stupid to get rid of one of your strongest players this early. You want to win competitions, not lose them.
At Tribal council, Zane gets voted out, but not before he drops the Onion analogy on us!! Priceless. Playing Survivor with Russell is exactly like peeling an onion. The more layers your peel back, the more you cry, just like the more days you stay and play with Russell, you realize he’s awesome and you suck. I get it. Just like Probst does, I’m sure. Hey, Probst, maybe you should have me on your talk show and I’ll explain you better what exactly that kid meant! Call me.
And, so we embark on a new season of Survivor! So far, so good. I think this could be a good season. We seem to have a decent cast, filled with some potential game-players, some great-looking assets, and some people who will probably crack at some point (or crack open in Skupin’s case). Let’s all just sit back and enjoy the ride.
As always, feel free to send me emails, facebook messages, or tweets about the show and what you may know about some of the contestants. I’m always open for Survivor conversation, now that Big Brother is over with!!
Until next week,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
Hey Scott, very happy with the first episode. Onto the three tribe thing, if they do it like they did with Survivor All Stars, I give three tribes 1 more episode, maybe 2, before theres a competition where the losing tribe is split into the other two tribes (so red tribe loses, half the members go to yellow, the other half go to blue). I’m hoping for just one more episode. Anyway, I really like Malcolm and the sex therapist, I hope they last for a while, and I have a feeling that, unlike the last two times they brought in vets with newbies, the vets are going to suck and not make it long. Also, Frankenstein kid is an idiot. Hopefully this season is really good, gonna miss Big Brother, but looking forward to yet another season of Survivor!
I had to laugh a little at the opening paragraph ranting about wanting a “straight up season of Survivor.” Last season had no Redemption Island, no returning contestants, and it was the one of the worst seasons in quite awhile. Instead, we were graced with Tarzan washing his poop-pants in a bucket, Colten spouting out some of the most racist garbage on television, and Kat dry humping her cousin… I don’t think gimmicks would have helped that season, they just needed to do a better job of casting. This season is much more promising.
Glad your recaps are back!!!
It’s to hard to keep bringing players back. Everyone just hates then because they have done it before.
OK, after several (10?) years of ignoring Survivor – because after a while everything was just same-old-same-old regardless of “twists” – I’m giving this season a try, and I have to say it’s only because I enjoy Scott’s writing & had such a good time with his Big Brother posts for BB14.
So far, I’m feeling …. meh. The players/characters are predictable to the point of tears:
* Returning players (losers) with huge targets on their respective backs;
* TV and/or sports celebrities keeping their celebrity-ness “secret” (yeah, good luck with that!);
* Other players who keep their “real” occupations secret because they actually think their competitors will give a sh*t;
* Skinny girls with big boobs and/or attractive asses for the guy/lesbian viewers;
* Buff guys with tight abs and/or tighter asses for the gal/gay viewers;
* The Gay Guy;
* The Bitch/Bastard-from-Day-One;
* The psycho (Frankenstein-man was the most obvious, but now he’s gone …. buh-bye freakazoid);
* The older man and/or woman, who will be gone as soon as they can be blamed for losing a competition (or their dentures, whichever comes first);
* The racist/bigot that “all America loves to hate”;
* Wendy/Wendal-whiner;
* Debbie/David-downer;
* And the one or two people who actually understand the game and will ultimately win.
*Sigh*
OK, still … I’ll give episode 2 a chance. If things don’t improve, I’ll just enjoy the show vicariously through Scott’s posts.
Cheers to all!
I’m not a fan of bringing players back, except when they got screwed by injury, so I’m liking this “twist.” I was just so happy that piece of trash Colton wasn’t part of it. However, if I know CBS they will bring him in somehow, and probably while Brenchel narrates.
I am hoping that Jeff Kent at least makes it to the jury if he’s not the winner for the sole fact that he doesn’t care about the money it’s about being named sole survivor! If he makes it to jury at least there will be one to who votes on game play!