SURVIVOR: PHILIPPINES – 9/20/12

Skupin makes a great statement about how he needs to play at the pace of his tribe. I always say that you can never go into these shows with a strategy, because you never know the people you are playing against, and how they are going to play. You have to take a few moments, take a few deep breaths, get to know your tribe and everyone in it, read body language, listen to things they say, recognize strengths and weaknesses, and go from there. Like he said, if they play fast, he needs to play fast and keep up. He can’t have three people come to him and ask him to join an alliance and just tell them “No, I think I’ll wait a few days and get back to you.” No, they’ll move on to the next person and just vote you out for being against them. All it takes is one sentence to turn someone against you in games like these, so you need to play along with just about everything everyone says and move at their pace until you get so good at knowing what they’re going to do next that you can determine the pace and beat them to the punch.

Sticking with the Tan Dong tribe, Lisa tells us she’s playing this game to learn about who she is as a person. I’ve always thought playing Survivor is just about as tough as it can get, and she will definitely learn a lot about herself being standed on a damn island, withstanding all the rain and sleep depravation, dealing with the pressures of the game, and pushing herself and her body to every limit possible. Blair Warner will definitely find out who Lisa, the person, is. RC doesn’t like her, doesn’t trust her, and thinks she’ll be overlooked in the game, which sets her up for an early exit, seeing how everyone else on the tribe is in an alliance other than her! Skupin wants to work with her, because he’s starstruck by her (he recognized her from the second he saw her) and tells her that he knows who she is and thinks she should tell everyone she’s famous. Yes, that’s exactly what she should do! Nobody is going to keep around a “famous” person. She is perfectly right to keep that “secret” hidden for as long as she can. Although, even if I did watch that show, I still don’t think I’d recognize her. That show went off the air 24 years ago, she grew into an old woman, left the entertainment business and hasn’t done anything on TV since, so I’m not sure I’d pick her out of a lineup even if I did watch that show religiously. I am sure I could go on Survivor and tell people I played Arnold on Diffrent Strokes and none of them would be any the wiser…

Back at Matsing, Denise reveals that she is a sex therapist and I can respect that. I’ve always wondered what a sex therapist is all about. I may have to hound her for a personal interview one day, just to gather information on what it is, exactly, a sex therapist does with their patients. Anyone know and willing to share? What, do they just give you suggestions on things you should try in bed, with your partner? Isn’t that what porn is for? I kid, I kid. I know it runs deeper than that, but I’m still interested in learning more. For all those who don’t know, I went to school for Psychology. I’m enamored by the human mind and how it works. I think about things people wouldn’t ever let come to their mind, so don’t think that this is purely on a sexual level. Sure, I’m a dog just like any other man, but I do care about education here and there. And, I’d love for Angie to teach me a few things about sexual therapy.

All joking aside, I did appreciate Denise’s perceptive skills, picking up on who Zane was just from his tattoos. I like to notice little things that people may not pay attention to, as well. People tend to look at tattoos and see them for artwork on a person’s body, but people hardly ever take notice of what the artwork is made up of and what it may reveal about the person. Most people that get tattoos get them for a heavy or light-hearted reason, and I can appreciate Denise taking an interest in that. And, of course Zane takes that as a reason to ask her to be in an alliance.

And, he then continues his trip around the camp, introducing himself to everyone by asking them to be in an alliance. And, to cap it off, he goes to Russell and Malcolm, tells them that he has an alliance with everyone in their camp, but really wants his main alliance to be the three of them. Smart decision there, Frankenstein. You’re finding your way to joining those flowers in that lake, my friend. You don’t go and tell someone you are trying to align with that you’ve already aligned yourself with everyone else on your tribe!!! Come on, now, even the real Frankenstein would know better than that! He gives us some stupid comment about how he’s running the game or whatever. Earlier on, he told us he was the perfect person for the game because of all the jobs he’s had working retail and stealing cigarettes from the mom & pop shop down the dirt road, over the hill, and down the left river a little. I’m guessing I was right about him leaving us early…

Malcolm goes and tells Denise about Zane’s antics and they decide to become an alliance of their own. Geez, all these alliances already! I think this is a reason why Survivor may need to just call it quits, because all these people come on the show and are just running around like dead damn chickens, playing so fast, thinking they have it won, and voila, sayonara!

Oh Lord, how have the Producers not stepped in and taken the machete away from Skupin? That man is a klutz, plain and simple!! Wow. He managed to cut his head open, his finger, and his foot, all in the matter of two days? Wow. I can only imagine what we are in for with him this season. He may just burn his entire damn hands off this time around! Just don’t touch your d*ck with burnt hands. You can live life with fake hands, what the hell you gonna do with a fake penis the rest of your life? Scratch that, I have a few ideas what I’d do. Go ahead, Skupin, burn your d*ck off.