Alright, kids, let’s eeeaasse back into the swing of a regular night of Survivor, shall we? Last week’s high drama, where we saw the beginning of Bitch Fest ’15 (Abi vs. Peih-Gee), the initial stages of psychotic meltdown with the “other” Fish (Fishbach), and we said goodbye to our old pal Vytas (boy, was I wrong on that one!). However, I was not privy to “ButtJunk-Gate” (his underwear) before I made my prediction, so I will respectfully say that I was lacking in the proper amount of information to make an accurate prediction.
In reading a few interviews he conducted in the past week, he made it clear he didn’t intend to go on the show and be “the yoga guy,” he was just responding to Shirin having a sore back and wanting to help her out. Too bad his “hidden immunity idol” was too creepy (or lovely?) for Abi and Shirin to deal with, so they obviously had to do the next thing and get rid of “little Vytas.”
Damn, these girls came to play, or maybe they just got lucky and Vytas dug his grave with his Downward Facing Dong… Too bad, somebody had to go home, and as long as it isn’t Wentworth or Monica, I’m okay…
And to touch on one other thing that popped us this week on Twitter, I just have to say, what happened to the ladies on this show? And yes, this is – by far – the oldest group of contestants we’ve ever seen, average age: 37 years old. Typically, casts run an average age of about 30 y.o. But at least when older women came on the show previously, many at least TRIED to get in shape. And yes, it’s different because there were no guarantees anyone (besides, Joe, Spencer, and Kelly) would be on, some may have been less inclined to hit the gym, but…come on.
And maybe I’m being too hard on the ladies, but look at the older guys who made it:
Savage
Jeremy
Terry
Vytas
At least they all brought it. Maybe that’s why America voted some of these ladies in, because they’re relatable – God, I hate that word – because the last thing I do when I watch a reality show is decide,
“Which one of these bo-hunks reminds me of myself so I can become emotionally attached to his game…?”
I just don’t do it. I find the person who makes me appreciate his/her game based on how THEY play it, and get behind them. The only one I didn’t get behind was Richard Hatch, and that’s for a different reason… (No homo)
So, that brings us to episode 2 – thankfully, a 60-minute one – and it looks like the cat claws are coming out as Abi reveals her true colors and is the Brazilian Blowout Bitch is back. Jeez, was anyone NOT expecting that…? To be fair, I was alerted to an article on RealityBlurred that mentioned Peih-Gee actually smuggled flint and fishhooks onto the show, cleverly concealed in some jewelry she snuck by the producers. Once the tribes reached their camps, and Peih-Gee tried to spring that surprise on the show/her tribe, the producers shot her down and confiscated her DKNY Flint bracelet, but…it raises that question that Ms. Law isn’t as innocent as we all thinks she is, and maybe, just maybe, she did intend to steal Miss Piggy’s bracelet to replace the one the producers took.
Hmmm, I wonder…
But let’s cast aspersions aside and dig into tonight’s episode. Can’t wait to find out the next victim to suffer the Second Chance consequences. And if I get my wish, there’ll be a little less bacon on Ta Keo after tonight…
Holy “Mackerel” your recaps are so good. Momma likes it! (did you note the fish reference above?) Downward facing Dong was stellar!!!! Tribal-I actually wish Abbi and her little piggy eyes had gone before the Human Ferret Shirin, but what-evs. Ok, where do I start…I think the heat and lack of food was getting to everyone who started choking up at that guy’s story about how he met his hot South African wife and the office full of playboys on the desk etc. What a charming story, just like grandma tells! NOT. What a joke. Kelly W has turned into the season’s most boring player. Varner is a bit of a character. Is he gay (no homo-just asking so take it easy everyone). seriously, is he? I thought it was nice of Dietz to try and show some compassion to Abbi but then, maybe it really wasn’t. He had an ulterior motive. I also thought it was totally stupid of him to announce at tribal how he and Abbi had a “connection.” Just pack it up and put a nice bow on how you are working together. Joe continues to be the homecoming king making plastic mesh hammocks for everyone and feeding the tribe while Fishbleck looks on longingly/jealously/creepily. Overall, kind of a boring episode. My 10 year old super fan son fell asleep before tribal. Not enough Woo for him. As for me (and you will love this Fishy) not enough Keith this episode, don’t you think? Love your favorite mermaid, Kinbville
Once again…glad that you and your re-caps are back to make this show even more entertaining!
I wonder if Varner even knows just how poetic it was for Shirin to go out that way. It was like a bad after school movie where the former picked on nerd gets a shot at sitting at the cool kids’ table and instantly becomes one of the bullies. Granted…I enjoyed seeing Abbi looking so forlorn and sad (maybe that’s wrong…but dang she is obnoxious)…but for Shirin to be laughing at her expense shows a profound lack of self awareness. Ferret face deserved to go home last night.
Please please please do not let Abbi make it to the end. I despise the trend to use goats that way.
I think the flamboyant scheming Varner is my favorite to watch this go around. And yes Kinb…I believe he is.
Looking forward to the 3 tribe split…and seeing what sort of position that puts people in as far as alliances. Mr. Man Bun needs to remember that he was too perfect last time and that’s why he didn’t win. It’s funny how none of them have truly seemed to change their game play. Leopard=Spots
-Hathor
I know it is early and the teams are full and there still are a bunch of players, but some were totally ignored.
Did I miss something or did Monica not speak one word. At least there were a few shots of her before the challenge.
Is hiding the idol in the woods ever a good move? Plus the first tribal was straight after the challenge. If that happens again no time to fetch the idol.
Abi, yes it worked out, but don’t tell the plan to the people you plan to vote for. Sort of hoping for some December/May romancing. Has that ever occurred?
Where did Joe get the supplies? Was the from the initial gathering?
Kinb – Hey Momma! Love your dedication! 🙂 So, in the column I was gonna make a joke about the Playboys and Stephen, but it just didn’t come together, so I appreciate you bringing them up. Kinda funny how they didn’t have anything to do with the story, other than titillation. If she’s a top model, I’m sure she wouldn’t be floored to see a Playboy in someone’s office. It’s not like they were found in his closet… Yeah, Kelly is not living up to it. In an email I sent to someone earlier today, I mentioned how the really old school players don’t compare to the new schoolers, because the game is so much faster now. She may find herself out sooner than later if she can’t pick it up. And yeah, Varner is on fire. Dude’s been on TV for years, so he knows the value of a good soundbite. Terry’s downfall could be his compassion, so let’s see where he ends up. I just don’t think he has the game to win the new Survivor. Joe is a god. I just wish there was a way to “earn” your immunity every week. Gimme some stupid Big Brother twist that upsets hard core Survivor fans but keeps the strongest players around. I hope your son saw Woo’s shining moment when he told Shirin to “suck it.” I’m sure your boy would’ve been proud of him… Thanks, kinb, keep swimming upstream…
hathor – thank you for the support! And I love it when you folks engage each other as well. Keep it up! Yeah, I’m starting to like Varner’s chances, even more when I read Vytas’s interview where he said Varner was connecting with EVERYONE prior to leaving for Cambodia. Dude knew he was gonna go and put the effort in. Funny how in ep. 1 he acted like a bumbling fool, but in ep. 2 he was workin’ it… Hope the tribe switch doesn’t fuck him up too much… And I’m with you. I DO NOT want to see Abi go far, because it just means having to hear her obnoxious voice/accent/grammar/logic for all those weeks. She seems so unaware of how she comes across and that’s just not what I want to see on TV. Thanks!
Doc – You’re right. I can only remember seeing Monica’s eyes get teary when listening to Savage’s story, but nothing else. And believe me, I’m looking for Monica soundbites/footage! Maybe this means she’s being saved for later. As I mentioned, the Bayon tribe is benefitting by winning, which is great when you’re on that tribe. We’ll see what happens next week. And yeah, I think the tribes got a lot of stuff from the junk at the beginning. Don’t want them to suffer too much, right…? Thanks for the comment. See ya next week!
Fish