So The Six decide to have a private confab away from Mike, leaving him to revel in the feeling that they now have to do what he’s been doing for 3 Tribals in a row – scramble. In the meeting, Tyler reveals to Dan that he voted for him, because he didn’t want to vote for Shirin (also) and then go home if Mike gave his idol to Shirin. Dan seems to accept it and the group stumbles back to camp. Later, POS goes up to Dan and tells him he was the other vote against him, explaining he did it so there’d be a split if it came down to Dan vs. Tyler, forcing them to draw stones.
Now, I’m making the assumption that that’s what POS meant, and I’m also assuming that that’s what Dan understands it to mean, but to be honest, I don’t know if either one of them are smart enough to have thought it through that far. It’s kind of like when you say something relatively intelligent to a stupid person, and instead of asking what you’re talking about, they just agree, not wanted to look…stupider. And from the perplexed look on Dan’s face, it seems it would have taken too much brain power for him to think this through, so he just said, “Okay,” and left it at that…
However, Dan confesses to us that both Tyler and POS are in his sights now, because You Don’t Vote for The Dan. But, he’s also willing to renew his bond with the POS, because he knows both of them are going deep.
Tyler, on the other hand, knows he needs to keep voting for Dan, since the two of them seem to be the most likely Top Sixers to get the ax next Tribal. He labels Dan both loyal and gullible, which are – in this game – one in the same.
Day 30 comes and “OMFG, like it’s Rodney’s freakin’ boithday!” So we jus gonna roll on up to the A & P, and get him a cream soda, or sumthin’ like dat…” Am I right…?
And the only present he receives is Treemail announcing the reward challenge will allow players to “nourish their soul,” so Rodney is juiced to get a treat. Even if he can’t win the challenge himself, he’s confident that either Carolyn or POS will bring him along (as POS promised Rodney). Boston Rod has the utmost confidence he’ll be going on the reward today, no matter the outcome, which is setting him up for a depressing birthday fail if it doesn’t happen. Let’s see…
The challenge is a multi-staged endeavor that I don’t need to describe now, I’ll just give references below. Besides, what’s important in this challenge is the reward. It offers the winning team the chance to act as Survivor ambassadors and bring a truckload of bikes, clothes, school supplies, sporting goods, and other goodies to a local orphanage, and then share in an enormous feast with the children. Food for the soul, food for the body…
Only 6 can participate, with the schoolyard pick producing the following teams:
Blue Team
Mike
Sierra
Carolyn
Red Team
Dan
Tyler
Rodney
Leaving the POS to “play with himself”…and NOT able to give his reward to Rodney. So, fuggetaboutit…
Even though the Blue Team seems stronger (physically, at least) I’ll give the Red Team the intellectual advantage. Jeff says “go” and Red takes the lead in the May Pole section and begins the untying/Building a Ladder section. They complete that first too, with Blue close behind. Section 3 is a hanging Net Sling, which each player has to get through. With Red still in the lead, Blue appears to be making up time, but they quickly realize Rodney forgot to bring the balls through the net sling, and now has to go back and redo that section – this time with his balls. Mangia, stugots…
This tremendous waste of time gives Mike the ability to begin launching his balls at their targets, and is able to get a couple shots off before Dan can take his first. This allows Mike the chance to determine how strong he needs to jump on the launcher, which seems vital as Mike finally hits his first target. But Dan appears to grasp the concept instantly and apparently lands his very first launch, and then a second one to take the lead. Mike ties it up but Dan keeps the pressure on and lands a 3rd and 4th and only needs one more. Carolyn and Sierra yell at Mike to allow them to take some shots, but Mike isn’t relenting and you can tell this will be the cause of some lively conversation later.
Dan takes another shot and it looks dead center perfect. Dan – prematurely – calls out “That’s it, that’s game!” but we all know how bad Dan is at predicting anything (remember that Outwit Outplay Outlast” puzzle, that ended up spelling “Outwet Outslay Outkast?”) and sure enough, his ball rolls along the top of the “rim” and falls off. “In and Out, Heart Br-eak!” as they used to say on ESPN…and then everywhere else.
As mad as the girls are at Mike, he sinks another one, and then when Dan misses again, Mike repositions his launcher and sinks the final ball. Red wins! Now, let’s see who’s going on the reward…
When it’s mentioned that Rodney hasn’t been off the beach in 30 days and it’s his birthday, Jeff asks if anyone from Red would be interested in giving up their spot. Mike tells Rodney that he loves him, but he “needs to get some food in him” too. That’s okay, Rodney thinks, one of the others will do it, right? Right!? Jeff asks Rodney if he wants to plead his case to the girls, but he says he’d rather not beg for it. He thinks the reward should just be given to him ‘cause it’s his birthday, and he ain’t gonna grovel.
Carolyn says that while it may be his birthday, it’s a “once in a lifetime” opportunity for her as well, so no, she won’t be giving it up. This sets Rodney off, spitting fire and vitriol, who can’t believe he might get shut out again. Rodney mumbles something about, “…and after everything that was said earlier.” Jeff asks for an elaboration and Sierra tells him that it was discussed that Rodney might be taken on a reward if it was an individual reward win, but that flew out the window when it became a team win. Not sure why that would change anything, since Sierra could easily score some “Rodney Points” by letting him go, but she wants to eat too, which is more important that Rodney’s fugazi birthday and anything resembling sympathy.
My wife and I were pretty pissed ourselves when we went to the second chance site to vote and saw Mike and Carolyn. Incredibly unimpressed.
To be brutally honest, unless one or both of them make it to the end, I don’t buy Probst’s “Well maybe there’s a Survivor twist and one of these two actually aren’t eligible, lololololol” If one of them does make it to the end and even wins, then I’ll also be the first to tip my hat to Survivor producers/CBS for pulling off a #BlindSide on the audience. Brutally honest, I’d actually find that to be terribly cool. “Hey guys! Mike placed 7th in the poll, but guess what, he played his hidden immunity idol worth a million dollars so all votes cast for Mike don’t count!” I’d appreciate that. That’d be cool. I don’t expect it to happen and for now truly think that CBS and the producers messed up.
Onto the show!
Firmly understand Tyler’s explanation about voting for Dan. He had to vote someone just in case Mike gave Shirin his idol. POS and his bs story though? I agree with you. It was two idiots (don’t ask me to pick the bigger idiot, I don’t know if I could) trying to explain why one of them had their hand on a knife in the other’s back.
Then you lost me. Red team has the intellectual advantage? Mike’s voice may be annoying, but he’s easily smarter than Dan. Sierra is easily smarter than Rod. Tyler vs Carolyn may be a tough call, but that’s it. Intellectual advantage… You’re just being silly now 😉
I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to see Rod not go on the challenge. Then the pleasure of seeing yet again how big of an idiot he is. “I spent mah birfday washing dishes and cussing and kicking stuff. #WorstBirfdayEVER #HateMommaC #WomenzSuck #NoWomanInFinal3WithMe #WAAAAAAAAH” Just to keep it close to home, I’m sure there are plenty of kids at that orphanage who wished their birthday included going to a beautiful, exotic setting, taking a potentially month and a half long vacation, playing a game for a shot at a million dollars, etc. etc. etc. Yes. Such an awful birthday Rodney… Idiot.
As for Dan’s advantage and it coming back to haunt people… That would imply that Dan’t smart to do so. Dan doesn’t realize he’s being played. Dan doesn’t realize he is on the lower end, if not the lowest end of the IQ range of the remaining Survivors. Dan’s advantage can be used by someone else who simply has to direct Dan and convince Dan that it would be a “big move”. You could convince Dan to blow his advantage or you could let Dan blow his advantage… OR, the smart thing to do is to use Dan’s advantage for yourself.
I wish I knew how long the tribal councils actually took. I know there’s a ton of footage we never see. I’m sure Jeff probably asks each person there one question. It’s in the editing later that they decide who’s Q&A are worth showing. POS is crap… He’s unfortunately going to the very end because there’s no way he wins. No way. He’s made no moves except for flipping to whatever group had the numbers, he’s an idiot, and he showed his true colors a while back with Shirin. Best to accept it now, of all the people left who you’d want to take with you to the finals… Will is an easy choice.
Enjoyed the recap. Would definitely be interested in hearing about who you’d vote for to have a second chance.
Dan is a strange guy. I actually though he was going to kiss Will during their pow-wow. His face kept, getting closer and closer to Will’s and their moobs were touching. It had me squirming with unease.
Not sure if I should post or not, since I think I will parrot what Fish has already posted.
Jeff, please shut-up! Stop trying to get people to give up their rewards. Stop trying to influence people at tribal, and that influence will spill over to the final vote.
Speaking of the reward challenge, I thought a few of the orphans looked to be about 30 years old. Why was everyone speaking to the kids in English? Were there translators nearby, or do the kids speak English? I was surprised by Mike’s soccer skills, not too bad.
Rodney, Rodney Rodney, who the F cares if it is your birthday? Does any male over 21 really care about birthdays? Yes maybe to guilt a GF/Wife into BD sex, but that is about it.
Plus, Rodney, if you were not such a F-ing idiot (forgetting bag of balls), you guys would have probably won the challenge.
Survivor spoiling Mike/Mama C.
1) Idiots
2) If faking us out, FU. I disagree with a previous comment that it would be a great blindside to viewers. Viewers should not be blind-sided. I really hate the deception given in previews. (e.g. Rodney’s wanting to leave the game, that was completely out of context as to what really went on)
Yes, let players blindside each other, but we should see what is going on. We should not be at the mercy of selective editing, that is a Bachelor staple.
I was so disappointed that Tyler got voted out – not surprised, but disappointed. Who’s even left to root for??? Mike made some dumb moves in the beginning but gosh, at least he wins challenges and seems to have a clue what’s going on! Not sure his chances are very good though, considering everyone’s gunning to get him out. Dan doesn’t have a clue, Rodney’s mouth and attitude will be his demise, Cierra is a floater, POS has no clue, and Carolyn, well, I just don’t care for her! I can’t wait for this season to just be over so we can all start looking forward to the next season!
Thanks for the recaps by the way. I thoroughly enjoy them and your perspective! 🙂
Darn, I bored myself to sleep last night and did not finish my comments. Let’s ignore just how crappy this season is and argue about this week’s strategy. Isn’t that what Survivor is about.
I say Mama C blew it in voting out Tyler. Too early to vote out your alliance of two. Eventually you need to get rid of Mike. You may need Tyler around to do that. I think she got a bit over confident with her two immunity wins. Should have gone for Dan or Rodney. Then gone after Mike and then Tyler.
Mike did everything correct.
Tyler needed to work it a bit more to drum up votes against Dan. His downfall was trusting Mama C.
The rest of the losers, I understand, you need to get rid of Tyler and Mike to have any chance (wow, that those two are the power players, shows how pathetic this season is)
Can we hope that a tropical storm wipes out the remaining players and the season gets cut short?
I know what you mean about the new strategy every season to take the weakest player to the end. But then, you have people like Woo who took a strong player to the end and where did that get him? I do agree though that its very tiresome to see the blobs going so far. As for the voting for the upcoming favorites season, I have a block of seasons I didn’t ever watch, from about Season 4-Season 18. So about 1/2 the people I had no clue who they were so I ended up voting for all the older people just to force Fishy to watch saggy boobs and gray chest hairs. My 10 year old son was thrilled to see Woo and Jason (I think that was his name), the firefighter from last season, again, I think? My 4 year old only wants Jon to come back. Some odd crush…Every fit guy with dark hair she says, Is that Jon? Oddly, her pick this season is Rodney. I still think Tyler is odd. Kind of reminds me of the “it rubs the lotion on its skin” guy from Silence of the Lambs? I wasn’t that sorry to see him go. Just to mess with all the viewers, I think it would be hysterical if Dan’s wife was some supermodel type. Oh, BTW, I’m watching the China Season on Amazon Prime right now. Any thoughts about that season w/out giving away the ending?
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Once again, folks, thank you for all your comments. It’s so much better when this is a give-and-take and not just me yelling at a wall… That said,
thatguy: the Mike/Carolyn thing still bugs me and when I saw Mike’s video for S31, you can tell he didn’t win S30. Carolyn’s is a little less obvious, but I don’t think she won S30 either. We’ll see. In the interview I did with Coach yesterday, I asked him about the Mike/Carolyn situation and even he agreed that the show screwed up. Check back on Thursday for his whole interview.
-I totally screwed up the colors on the reward challenge. I don’t know how I did that. Funny, because this is the first column (probably ever) that I didn’t have a drink. Maybe I need to have a stiff one (oh, behave!) to write right… But, yeah, there’s no way I’d call any team Dan and POS are on “intellectually superior,” unless they’re going against a baby, an empty bag of rice, and a grape…
-Rodney = so self-unaware it’s painful
-I can’t wait to see how Dan’s advantage will be used. We know Carolyn will be safe tomorrow (assuming she’s not an idiot) so I think that means either Sierra goes home, or every gangs up on Dan for having the advantage and vote his moobs out… I’m surprised no one ever talks about Rodney going home. Don’t they realize you don’t need SO MANY “non-winners” at the end?
-I asked Coach about how long do tribal councils last. Find out Thursday…
-Yes, unfortunately, I think it’s a foregone conclusion that POS will be at Final Tribal. I think the only saving grace about this is the crucifixion (appropriate?) he’ll get from the jury as well as the reception he’ll receive by the live studio audience at the Finale. Something tells me he’s not the kinda guy who’s used to being hated, so the boos and jeers the crowd gives him will affect him deeply. Watch that f**ker cry like a baby when he’s laughed off the stage. Plus, Probst promised to address it at the Finale, so it’ll be a hot topic, for sure…
susie: thanks for that imagery. I just thought of a script idea for a BBM interracial porn, “Dan and POS Hunt for Hidden Idols.”
doc: I think Jeff realized during the season this group was not the “best cast ever” and felt he needed to help “trim the fat,” as it were. Maybe that’s why he’s helping to target the runts?
-Re: Reward, the show probably just told the 3 winners to speak English, because “we won’t show any kids talking, anyways…”
-You got Rodney down pat. And yeah, it’s funny how he didn’t own that (forgetting the balls) at all.
-You’re right about selective editing. Perhaps this bunch didn’t offer a lot of “memorable moments” so the show had to manufacture a lot of drama (like The Bachelor). I don’t know what kind of turnover the editorial dept. has on Survivor, but it could be that the reality show behind-the-camera “community,” is very closed to newcomers, so people who worked on shows like The Bachelor, are now on Survivor. It’s just a theory, but in my own experience (having worked in Hollywood for 25 yrs) there were many times that I was completely overlooked for a position, because I didn’t have any reality show experience. And what’s funny is, when reality shows started 15 years ago, they were the bastard stepchildren of Hollywood. Nobody wanted to work on them unless you were desperate. Now, they’re so prevalent that you NEED to have reality show experience to be considered for other jobs. Stupid…
-(part 2) I’m super with you about voting out Tyler. She NEEDED him. She just lost his jury vote, as well as possibly guaranteeing her own trip to the jury. Dumb…
-I’m just frustrated that I have to pick between so many undeserving people. It’s like Marquesas and Vanuatu all over again…
bonnie: Thanks, chica! I’m glad you like them. I agree with all your comments. I seem to be in the minority about liking Sierra, and maybe it’s because she’s the only cute girl left, but I think she’ll surprise us the last 2 episodes. As I’ve said before, the jury has some relatively young, free spirited people, so they may not care about “who played the best game.” They may just vote for who isn’t a huge prick…
-And yeah, S31 could seriously be the best ever!
kinb: I think there’s a “pocket” where players need to stay in to make it to final tribal and win. Not too good, not too bad. And you definitely don’t want to take somebody “better” than you. That was Woo’s mistake. He can claim all he wants about sticking to his creed and facing off against “the best,” but then don’t give us this crap about wanting to win. Just say you knew Tony was going to win and you didn’t want to reward Kass. His video for S31 is trying to tell us that this time he’s playing to win, but I think he had his chance. You shouldn’t get to play twice if you don’t take it seriously the first time… Just like quitters.
-I’ve modded my DVR so it blurs out saggy boobs, so I’m not worried. Although, Kimmi from season 2, being an “old-timer” looks to be packing a lot upstairs, so I’ll be looking out for her in S31. Boobs don’t need to be fake for the Fish, they just need to be big.
-I know what you mean about Tyler. He reminds me of Bob Geldof’s character in Pink Floyd’s: The Wall after he shaved his eyebrows. Tyler definitely needs to keep those glasses on.
-Funny, any time I think who Dan’s wife should be, I just picture Laura Boneham, but heavier…
-I remember China pretty well. My thoughts were that religion became an issue on that season (a bit). It was a pretty memorable cast, too. I just looked and can see 11 who made a lasting impression on me. There are some big moves, odd twists, and a few things that’ll surprise you. It wasn’t the ending I expected, but that rarely happens. The pervert in me mostly remembers one particular challenge with Amanda, and praying that Ashley would get naked like her Playboy photos. Oh, and Jaime and Erik were so cute…
That’s it for this week! I look forward to all your comments and can’t wait to release this week’s column with Coach’s interview (maybe Skupin too!), plus my picks for S31 (with commentary), and, oh yeah, a recap!
Love you guys (and gals)!
Fish