Next up is the Immunity Challenge, and I just realized we didn’t see any footage of Wes at Exile Island. I guess he’s not the raconteur (no, that doesn’t mean raccoon hunter) that we’ve all come to appreciate on Survivor. No big tales of kayaking to the Yucatan? No mountain climbing to the highest peak in Louisiana? No wrestling an alligator in the bayou? Okay, let’s just get to the challenge.
Pretty straightforward. Hold onto a handle above your head while you stand on a narrow perch. Not much more to it than that. I’m guessing a strong, small-footed person would have the advantage. Now which one of you guys has small feet?
And who’s the genius who thought we’d like to see the girls’ hairy armpits? Is there a German producer working on the show who just doesn’t “get it?”
“No, eet’s okay to zee a little hair in zair ahrmpeets. My vife has hairy ahrmpeets!”
But…based on Coach’s answers earlier, it’s no surprise the woman are a bit more granola than most of us are used to. Thankfully, Natalie wears a t-shirt, which probably covers up the Che Guevara undoubtedly growing in her armpits… At least the position the players are required to hold accentuates Jaclyn’s long lithe body, which is the best thing left to look at this season…
And then because the theme of this season is bartering, Jeff starts to bring out the bribes. First up is a plate of candy, that most players want no part of, until Jon realizes he wouldn’t last that long anyway and wants some SSSUUUUGGGGAAAARRRRR, as he screams to the jungle…
After 30 minutes, Missy steps down without even a bribe presented to her. I guess Jeff is still making her suffer for cooking all that rice early on. As she heads to the “loser’s bench” she tries to lure some people off with a sarcastic, “it’s so comfortable down here in the sand,” which makes Baylor tell her to “shut up,” and for the first time, Baylor is playing the game.
Immediately, Jeff walks out with a covered plate and Wes wants to know if he’s gotta share it if someone else steps down with him. Um, yeah, that’s the way it works. Have you not seen the show before…? As Jeff uncovers a plate of cookies and 2 tall glasses of milk, Baylor and Jaclyn instantly step off, with no thought of who’s going home, I’m sure.
45 minutes marks the next bribe: a plate of chicken wings and 2 beers. And Wes almost tackles Jeff to get those wings. Or maybe it’s the beer since we all know how much Wes likes to #TacoOverload…
An hour and 20 minutes elapsed and Keith’s feet are turning purple. Jeff doesn’t even wanna take the time to get another plate of food, lest he miss the opportunity to see Natalie Beauregarde on the beach. But no, Keith doesn’t eat the 3-course meal gum, or a bribe, or nothing. He’s out. And we’re down to 3 players: Natalie, Reed and Alec. Next out is Alec, who simply can’t take it anymore.
And then at the 3 hour mark, we see more spitting this season as Reed does it and then Natalie fails to project her spittle any farther than her bosom. Seriously? Wes suddenly gets into fan mode and talks to Jeff about the episode of Two and a Half Men he did where Jeff was naked,
“Man, I love that show,” Wes admits… And then he asks Jeff if he’ll sign his autograph book, because he’s got “all the big names in show business: Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy, Brett Butler, and I just got John Rocker’s…”
Jeff declines gracefully and says he’s got a challenge to finish. Natalie suddenly gets a little whiny and asks Jeff if there’s any more food coming out. Since Reed looks like he’s going to win and she doesn’t want to go through it all without at least getting a meal. Jeff obliges and brings out a big plate of food and she (literally) falls off the post and crumbles to the ground, unable to stand. Having won, Reed can finally step off and does the splits on the sand… These f**king Broadway dancers are such showoffs!
When everyone gets back to camp, Reed begins to spin his web of deceit and tries to get Jon out. He tells Keith the plan is to get Jon, and then he confesses to us the plan is to try to get the Power Couples alliance to vote for Keith, have Reed, Alec and Natalie vote for Wes, but then spin it around and take out Jon. Seems like a lot of working parts to pull off successfully, but let’s see what conversations unfold in the next few minutes.
There aren’t many. Just Reed confirming with Alec to vote for Jon, and then Reed telling Missy to do the Keith/Wes split. Lastly, Missy tells Jon about the split plan, who’s only reassurance is when Alec (lying through his teeth) tells him “he’s down” with Jon.
Jon confesses that since he’s not calling the shots this time, he’s a bit uneasy, but he has faith in his alliance (and, when did you get into an alliance with Alec, by the way…?) but he also has that secret idol, just in case.
At Tribal, with a very imposing Jeremy shooting mad looks at the remaining players, Jeff opens up with a few questions about trust, and how little that word means here. He then moves on to Hidden Immunity Idols, and reminds everyone that “not one has been played this season.”
See, we knew that would be the hot topic tonight! Oooh, Jeff, where are you going with this?
Natalie is asked about it and she provides us with the “it’s both a blessing and a curse” explanation. All the while, Jon seems to be making the faces of someone who’s deciding if all this talk of trust, alliances and hidden idols has something to do with him.
Reed wants to stop pussy-footing around and mentions that when Wes dropped out of the challenge – since he isn’t in one of the power positions of the game – it indicated that he and Keith have an idol they’re sharing. Whoa, Reed, calling a guy out at Tribal? Slow down…
Keith knows when he’s being called out, so he then announces to the group to just “stick to the plan.” This takes everyone by surprise a little, since a few people (Jon) didn’t know there was “a plan” for Keith to be sticking to. So as the mad scramble of Reed, Natalie, Baylor, Jaclyn, and Missy try to figure out what “the plan” is now, it looks like more than one person is unsure. And as Jeff tries to gauge where everyone’s head is (okay, maybe just Baylor’s) Reed is having side conversations with Jaclyn, Natalie and Jon and I’m beginning to think he’s lied his way into blindsiding Jon. Or…2 or 3 idols could be played and this game is gonna get turned on its ass. It’s time to vote…
With no votes revealed on camera, it’s wide open. And while Jeff heads off to collect the urn, Natalie whispers to Jon to “play his idol.” Jon is slightly incredulous, “Really?” he asks her. And all she can offer is, “It’s up to you.”
I’m thinking he’s a goner, as the theme of not playing your idol is pretty rampant this season, but at the very last second, Jon chimes up,
“Jeff, I’d rather play this than go home with it in my pocket.” And finally, we have a winner! Somebody made a wise decision on Season 29. Took them 10 episodes, but we’re finally here. Johnny, tell him what he’s won…!
“No, it’s not a new car. It’s at least 3 more days on a Nicaraguan beach! Sleeping with crabs and snakes…!”
And while Jon is getting his idol out, Keith whispers to Wes to “pull it out,” and I’m not going to make any jokes. Let’s move on. But…once Jeff announces that Jon’s idol is real, Keith stands and tells Jeff (yes, Keith is SPEAKING at Tribal) that he’s got one too. And as he passes by Wes, he asks his son if he wants to play it, but Wes tells him “no, you got it, you play it.” And I’m wondering if that’s the decision Wes will regret forever…
Jeff reads the votes:
Jon
Jon
Jon
Keith
Keith
Jon
Keith
Wes
Wes
And it’s time for #TacoOverload #2! And as Wes’s torch is snuffed and he bids adieu, Natalie confirms for Baylor that Reed and Alec voted for Jon so we know it may be an uncomfortable camp later. Can’t wait to see how that’s gonna play out. The tease reveals that things do get ugly next week with tension between Reed, Baylor, Missy, and unfortunately, Jon and Jaclyn. Wonder if it’s too late to return the wedding gift I bought them?
As we fade out, Wes gifts us with one final Honey Boo Boo moment, which encapsulates his whole experience,
“Sometimes you gotta risk it to get the biscuit…”
And with that, we say goodbye to Wesley Nale.
With all the Coach stuff earlier and the holiday coming up, I wanna wrap things up quickly. Just letting you know that I’m very thankful for all the support you’ve shown me the past 3 seasons. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m glad some of you don’t like tea. With all the boob jokes, drinking endorsements, and gambling references, I know that I may be offensive to some, but I just wanna reiterate that it’s all in good fun. I hope I throw in enough snark and humor to make up for my transgressions. And no, I will not be going to church to confess anything. I’ll be heading to the bar for another one…
So, with all my heart (and liver) I wanted to tell you how thankful I am for all of you.
And today is my one year anniversary on Twitter, so yay, bitches! Let’s go demonstrate and block traffic like a bunch of f**king morons…
Swimmingly,
Fish
Email: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BF_TheFish
AIM: bryan.fish.fischer@gmail.com or Bryan Fischer
Hi Brian, I’m thankful for your wonderful recaps this Thanksgiving. 🙂 BTW, I have a question, though its probably too amateur to ask Coach, you probably know the answer. How long do the players that are out, but not on the jury, stay at Ponderosa? Do they stay at Ponderosa? Do they get to go back home ASAP? Loved the questions to Coach BTW. That was a rough tribal. Why do you think Natalie told Jon to play his idol? I thought she wanted him gone? I’m sad to see Wes go. He was kind of funny and not so full of himself. I actually am pulling for Natalie or Keith now. I like the underdogs. Alec is boring and too much of a mouth breather. Jonclyn are/is too perfect and cocky. Baylor is annoying and reminds me of a Japanese Aname. (Not sure I spelled that right). Her mom is washed up and Reed isn’t too bad though my 11 year old announced he has bug eyes, so we don’t want him to win. My 10 year old son made sure he used the “Gotta risk it for a biscuit” phrase at the Thanksgiving dinner table. I was so proud!
Loved the Coach interview, it is always cool to get behind the scenes info…
Thanks for the great recaps, and happy anniversary!
Absolutely know what you mean about no one liking survivor as much as you; admittedly that’s got a lot to do with me only personally knowing one other person who watches it since I’m in the UK, but I’m pretty certain I love this show a lot more than normal people. I always watch it once on my own before I watch it with my boyfriend so I can hear everything as well – glad it’s not just me!
And I’d like to point out that liking tea and appreciating your brand of humour aren’t mutually exclusive 😛 hope the recaps continue!
Thank you, ladies (I’m assuming!) for all your kind words. You make this all worthwhile… And I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving.
(kinb) That’s a good question. I’ll see if I can get someone to answer it. Phillip hasn’t responded to my request for him to answer questions, so I’ll try another former player. I think all players have to stay away from home for the full time, or else people back home would know they didn’t win and spoil it. Do they stay at Ponderosa? Who knows? Would make sense (production-wise) that they do, but I’d need clarification.
I think Natalie had a knee-jerk reaction to try to save Jon, but she did say she wanted to target “one of the boys” first and then get Jon. Not sure if she’s THAT GOOD of a player, but I think she was just trying to save one of her own.
-It was interesting to see how the show set Wes up as a fool on the night he goes home. Makes me think that was intentional…
-I don’t know who I’m rooting for. Part of me thinks Missy b/c that’s who I favored to win (selfish me) and part of me thinks Baylor, only because she’s continuing to be SO prevalent on Twitter. We gotta also remember that some of these players may have been asked back for Season 30, since it was also shot in Nicaragua, but would any of these, ahem, “players”…qualify as a Legend, assuming that’s the theme…? I wonder if any did, just because of convenience…
-Your kids sound awesome!
(addicted) Thank you! I hope to have more interviews. Send me any questions you have!
(rex) Tea sucks! 😉 We’re the coffee generation…! Yeah, kinda sucks to love a show that NO ONE ELSE likes, but it’s a hugely popular show. I’d say that most people who like Survivor, at least in America, are fairly rural, or suburban, but not cosmopolitan. But…the one thing I notice is that most players have some amount of financial stability, so there aren’t a lot of sob stories by people who’d REALLY need to win a million bucks.
Keep reading, my friends. Hopefully, more to come…
Fish