SURVIVOR: BLOOD VS WATER 2 – 10/29/14

Tonight’s theme is “The Trade,” for obvious reasons. It could end up being THE pivotal event of the season; we just don’t know what the trade will be. I saw Dalton Ross was asking on Twitter what everyone thinks will be the trade, and you know he’s probably got some inside information, but I don’t think it’ll be a simple, “Here’s the rice, we’re doing a Tribal RIGHT NOW.”

As I replied to Dalton (yes, I am THAT pathetic a Survivor fan!) I don’t think it’s fair to have Hunahpu go to Tribal, because that only punishes the weakest/least aligned/least popular person on the tribe. The whole point of the tribe eating all that rice is that THE WHOLE TRIBE ate all that rice. And it’s not even the “new” Hunahpu’s who f**ked up, It’s the original tribe that ate like slovenly pigs. Hell, I’d like to see some crazy twist where Jeff brings back all the original Hunahpu members (“get your ass over here Jon, Keith and Missy) and do a challenge, do a puzzle, or pull some damn purple rocks!

Ok, maybe that’s a bit much, but you get the point. The entire Hunahpu tribe needs to be punished, and as I tweeted, I think it’d be awesome to force the tribe to burn down their shelter and then have to rebuild it. Merely taking away some comfort items is pretty minor, considering how egregious their folly was. And with their boneheaded “flint pas” (get it?) force those morons to actually use their “brand new” flint and burn that sucker down.

Tear down the wall!
Tear down the wall!

Hell, play some Pink Floyd, or “Burning Down The House” or “Disco Inferno” and let’s throw some royalties at Floyd, The Talking Heads or The Trammps… You know this show’s got deep pockets!

But…I’m thinking the show would never do something as cruel as that. What, all that emotional turmoil you put players through on the “Loved Ones” episodes and all the Blood vs. Water emotion is enough?! Come on, Jeff, make these people SUFFER…!

Okay, changing directions, as we’re approaching the mid-way point of Season 29, I’m wondering how everyone’s feeling about it. I’m reading a lot of negative comments about how boring the season is, but is it really that bad? I know last season had the Brains-Brawn-Beauty aspect, and it had Tony, and Kass, and X’XXX and the rice, and the flips, and the blindsides, and all that drama, but that’s comparing apples to oranges. The Blood vs. Water seasons are simply different in how they unfold. Just like Season 28, the EMOTIONAL impact of B vs. W is unlike the impact that “normal” seasons possess. So, in those instances, you have to augment the cast with dramatic players, hope there are a lot of blindsides, and pray that weather wreaks havoc on the castaways.

But in a B vs. W season, the additional pressure of having every decision run through a strategic AND EMOTIONAL filter places a bit more pressure on the players’ shoulders. It’s like EVERY decision affects more than just one person, which doesn’t always happen in non-BvW seasons. Perhaps I’m over-thinking it, but it’s only because people are being critical of this season.

I actually think most of any season’s best drama happens after the merge, so there should be a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. Until then, let’s see what arrangement Jeff makes with Hunahpu, and let’s see where the tribes go from here. It’s Wednesday night, and it’s time for The Greatest Show on Television.

To the episode!

Jeff’s recap of events prior reveals the following:

Drop your buffs…
New tribes…and Keith…
Idols on Coyopa (real and fake)…
A new power couple…
Old Hunahpu is worried about Reed flipping…
And everyone is starving because they suck at Survivor…
Coyopa dumped Kelley because Jon sleeps on Missy’s bosom at night…

As Coyopa returns to camp (Night 13), again lightning portends a wicked episode (that’s all added in post, right…?). Dale is obviously bummed that his daughter went home, but he’s vowed to keep fighting. He actually says that was the toughest thing he’s ever seen her go through, which makes me believe she’s led a pretty awesome life. Your daughter gets voted off a silly little reality show and THAT’S the toughest thing you’ve ever seen her endure? Really…?

Side Note: Damn! The Kansas City Royals just LOST the World Series. I was hoping for a miracle walk-off by Perez in the bottom of the ninth, but that never happens anymore. FYI, I won’t say who won the Series. I guess it’s time to focus on the NFL for the next 3 months…

The next morning as Hunahpu is arising, Dale is full steam ahead with Operation: NeverGonnaWork. As you recall, Dale took the figurine off the top of the well lid, and he said he’d end up using it for something, but he wasn’t sure until today. Now is the time to put his plan into motion. This is almost on par with something Phillip Sheppard would devise…

So when he shows it to Jon, and states that he’s not going home next time, Jon’s only reaction is,

“Whooooaaaa, doesn’t look like it…”

But honestly, doesn’t it seem that when Jon says it “Doesn’t look like it,” he means that Dale’s piece of crap figurine doesn’t look like a Hidden Immunity Idol? I wonder if there was a little creative editing at play in that scene… However, Jon confesses that he thinks Dale has an idol, so maybe he does believe that Dale would have somehow found an idol in the few hours since they voted out his daughter. Ok, I’m not sure who’s the stupid one here, so let’s see what else is brewing…

Over at Hunahpu, the impending trade with Jeff is weighing heavily on their minds. Alec, in particular, seems very bummed that his new home could be essentially taken away from them because the old Hunahpu were a bunch of idiots who couldn’t count how much rice to ration each day. Jeremy is more annoyed than anyone, and he makes it seem like the whole “trade for rice with Jeff” was all Reed’s idea. “Suck it up,” he says to us, because he knows the tribe could win a feast at the next challenge.

But he’s just dumbfounded they’re in this situation, and I can only wonder what part everyone played in this predicament. Surely not only Missy was to blame for their poor planning (as she was the one, evidently, who cooked rice at Hunahpu – per Kelley). So the tribe waits on pins and needles for the Executioner.

Enter Sandman. Jeff arrives with a giant bag of rice over his shoulder. But is it rice? Is this one of those, “What’s in the box!” moments? Apparently not. It’s rice. But as the Hunahpuians welcome him with open arms, Cowboy Kim’s not having any of it. He’s a man with a mission. A boy with a gun… (Cue up Devo’s “Big Mess” for that reference…).

He gathers the tribe and instantly you can see it’s the original Hunahpu 4 (Jeremy, Julie, Reed, Natalie) on one side, and the new Hunahpu 3 (Wes, Josh, Alec) on the other. Julie’s already starting to get emotional since she knows the penalty is going to be stiff. Jeff finds out how much rice they have left and then confirms they’re a bunch of idiots. He asks Reed how this could have happened, “Too many cooks in the kitchen,” and “you don’t wanna speak up against them” (you pussy!) but that doesn’t matter anymore because one of those cooks (presumably Missy) is on the other tribe, and the other (presumably Drew) is drinking a brewski at Ponderosa.

Jeff asks the new Hunahpu members for their take, and Drew is ballsy enough to say, “WTF, guys?” Since it’s evident to everyone the disproportionate amount of food eaten by Hunahpu fueled them to win all the early challenges. So now, on Day 14, Jeff has to completely replenish their rice. Even he’s aghast this is happening, because it’s not just the rice, it’s also the flint they lost. I mean, what a bunch of idiots…

So, the damage is, “Give me all your s**t.” The tarp, hammock, bed roll, pillows, blankets, candles, the hammer, the hatchet, a pot, the partridge, the pear tree…everything.” Essentially, he’s leaving them with only a flint, machete and a pot. “You’re starting over, bitches…”

And with that, they tear down the camp and give it all back to Jeff. And so, as the tribe is thanking Jeff for the rice, Jeremy is pissed off because they had to give everything back. Maybe there’s some deeper divide in the constitutions of Jeremy and the rest of the tribe. I’m not making a racial statement; I’m just saying that Jeremy is not like the others. Because when you’re on a reality show, you have to play the game by the show’s rules. Jeff says “climb this ladder,” you climb that ladder. Jeff says “swim over there,” you swim over there. Jeff says “Gimme all your s**t,” you give him all your s**t. So I don’t see why Jeremy is so pissed off. It’s just the way the ball bounces.

Julie, on the other hand, is actually dreading the loss of the tarp, because it means she’s gonna be cold, and you wouldn’t like Julie when she’s cold. I can actually empathize with her on this, because no one would like me when I’m cold. I wonder if it’s gonna rain soon…?