SURVIVOR: BRAINS VS BRAWN VS BEAUTY – 4/30/14

May 1st, 2014 | 5 Comments | Posted in Survivor 28 - B vs B vs B

With no real response from ANYONE on my “Sabotage” theme, I decided to Tweet to the man himself, Mark Burnett. I figured why limit myself to just Jeff Probst and a few former players and fans. I’ll keep you posted, but I’m thinking they already know where they’re “going” with Season’s 29 and 30 (All-Stars?) so I’ll keep my fingers crossed that Season 31 features Tony battling against a bunch of other conniving, heartless bastards and bitches.

Here it is, one more time in condensed form, in case any new readers are just finding us…

The theme of the season is sabotaging the other tribe. This could include some of the following:

1. The “leaders” are selected to choose tribes (schoolyard pick) for the other leader.
2. At any challenge where players have to sit out, the other tribe will choose who sits.
3. During challenges, tribes may select to hinder (sabotage) the other tribe or continue to help their own during certain stages.
4. After a reward challenge, the winning tribe will select 1 or 2 players to raid the other camp.
5. Exile Island will provide clues to finding hidden immunity idols at the other tribe’s camp.
6. At Final Tribal, players can choose 1 or 2 jury members whose votes won’t count for the opposing player(s).

As always, your input is welcomed. I’m attempting to start something viral and ask a few former players if they’d be interested in being “saboteurs.” I’ll let you know if it finds legs anywhere…

Enough “side business,” let’s get to why we’re all here: to find out if the remaining players are able to vote out Tony when he’s been given the single-most powerful weapon in the history of the game. Who, IMHO, could let slip to his tribemates what he has and what it does, then sit back and watch everyone scramble.

Can you imagine if he told them about its “power?” Can you imagine how much strategizing the others would have to do to find a way to throw the most votes at Tony and the 2nd most votes at their intended target? It’s crazy that a blindside is BUILT-IN to the power of the Tyler Perry idol, whether Tony decides to keep it a secret or not.

Curse you, Tyler Perry, for suggesting its existence, and curse you, Survivor, for deciding the game needed this twist. We’re Survivor fans, we’re simple. We like the game played with simple rules and not many revisions. Stop messing with our game! That is, until Season 31 when players square off on each other in Survivor: Sabotage! (insert hand-wringing GIF here)

To the episode…!

The recap of last week reveals nothing we don’t already know so we open with the Solarrion tribe returning to camp after Tribal (Night 28). It seems that people are starting to grind on each other a little more now, or maybe everyone just cares less about stepping on anyone’s toes. The subject of Spencer’s idol (that he played) is discussed (when he found it, where it was, etc.) but he just sounds like a petulant boy in the way he found/played it. As he said last week, if he played the idol wrong, he might end up kicking himself for the rest of his life. Well, my boy, you just played it wrong, so please go directly to the back of the “get kicked” line and bend over. Richard Hatch is waiting there to commence punishment…

Kass takes this opportunity to tell everything how she KNEW Spencer had the idol, because she could “read” how he was acting, and she’s such an awesome judge of character traits. And, as she tells us in confessional, since a college-aged male is “the most selfish beast on the planet,” she was one-step ahead of her former tribe mate.

Honestly, I don’t see college dudes as being the MOST selfish beasts, I would think that only-children, gold-digging women, and wealthy businessmen in BMWs are more selfish than some moronic college guys, but I know you need to have some big opinions for more camera time. Go ahead and keep hatin’ on the guys who didn’t pay you any attention in law school…

Spencer is forced to swallow his pride as it’s rubbed in his face how he was exposed by Kass, so he’ll just take his medicine and move on. His “Army of Two,” with Tash, is now faced with battling against the “Tigers” (Tony’s alliance, which is down to 5) and it may not be something the two of them can overcome. Perhaps Probst’s prediction of Spencer having a 0% chance of winning the game is coming to fruition.

Day 29 and Tony and Woo return from Treemail with a scroll. Before Tony reads it, Woo plays a little game with Trish to get “him” to find the wallets of money in his shorts. Insert your own joke here… Once everyone sees the wallets they scream for joy knowing it’s a Survivor auction, which means two things. 1) People are going to eat, and 2) Tony knows there’s always an advantage at the auction, and that’s going to belong to Tony.

Got to give him props for never ceasing to play the game. It’s always surprising that every season has an auction, and players just throw their money away on “useless” food items. I understand, you’re hungry (starving even?), but aren’t you there to win the game! Tony’s in a power position and he’s STILL thinking of gaining an advantage! I think we all need to recognize that Tony is playing a hell of a game, even though he’s been doing it a bit unorthodox. Would love to see him play again against some of the biggest names in the franchise…

Actually, what I’d really like to see is Jeff pulling a fast one and there’s no advantage and somebody goes the whole auction without bidding or winning or eating anything. That’d show ‘em for thinking they know the game better than anyone else! As much as I think that’d be a great idea, I don’t think the show likes changing things up that much. Oh, except for that Tyler Perry idol thing…

Spencer tells us that the auction is the Army of Two’s only hope to stay alive in the game, so it’ll be game-on for them as well. I’m just hoping that Jefra wins the “take a bath in front of everyone” prize – I have my reasons! – mostly because she still needs to wash her neck and get purdy again…

At the #auction, Jeff lays the ground rules: $20 increments, no sharing money, no sharing food, auction will end without warning. I won’t go into the details of every auction, but here are the winners:

Trish – popcorn, candy, soft drink (a Pilates dream meal…?)
Jefra – quesadilla w/guacamole & a margarita (heavenly)
Kass – steak sandwich & iced tea (amazing)
Trish – a bowl of rice & water (for what she paid, she’ll take it…)
Woo – a plate of ribs and a beer (Woo’s “Oh-face” was awesome television…)

Jeff asks Tony why he’s not bidding and it’s no surprise he wants the advantage. Spencer agrees with that strategy and claims to be doing the same. Same goes for Tash. Jeff says “Well then, let’s just get to it,” and pulls out the “advantage” scroll.

“Five hundred!” Tony yells and knocks everyone’s plates to the ground (ok, that didn’t happen).

But Jeff won’t let it go that easily. He tells them that IF the bidding gets to $500 (I think it might…) and there’s more than one bidder, the participants will then have to pull rocks to see who gets the advantage. I assume that means you could pay $500 and pull rocks, lose the advantage, lose all your money, and end up with nothing, but those are the breaks of the Survivor auction.

Tony obviously jumps at the chance to bid as does Spencer. Tash has suddenly gotten cold feet and doesn’t want to bid. I’m hoping for an explanation on THAT decision at some point. Perhaps she thinks there’s something else of value to bid on, or perhaps there’s a more altruistic desire behind her decision. Maybe she calculated that she’d rather give Spencer a 50% chance of winning the advantage than just a 33% one. If it were me and my poker brain was in full gear, I’d have calculated that you just gave Tony an extra 17% chance of winning the advantage, since Tony’s 33% chance of winning just increased to 50%. Thanks for that, Tash… Or maybe she just heard the phrase “pull rocks” and associated it with a bad thing and didn’t want to do it. Who knows? After 29 days, you get a little punchy out there in the elements…

Spencer and Tony approach Jeff, who explains the rules: two rocks, one black, one white.

Why’s it always gotta be black vs. white, Jeff!? There’s too much racism in the world! Why couldn’t it be purple vs. orange?

So they pick and, of course, Tony wins and gets the advantage, Spencer loses and gets the white rock, the auction ends and Tash gets shut out. Thankfully, she explains in confessional she was hoping for one more item to bid on, hopefully it’d be a clue to a hidden immunity idol, so at least she had a plan. But I still think she should have gotten in on that poker game. The ex-Brains are once again foiled. However, they still have life, as long as they can kill it at the immunity challenge.

5 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: BRAINS VS BRAWN VS BEAUTY – 4/30/14

  1. Hi Bryan,

    I really should get on Twitter, I just don’t get it! But then I could read more of the comments. I really think this season is great and your comments/recap are always the highlight of each episode. I hope your sabotage idea gets some press. It seems really clever and would be fun to watch. I didn’t get at all why Tony showed everyone the idol he found. I would have kept it quiet myself. I know he said his reasons why but I thought they were stupid. Though over all, he’s a fun guy to watch and I wouldn’t mind if he won. It seems to me like Tasha should be the one they are all gunning for as soon as they can. With respect to the survivor auction, the food portions were really skimpy. Like Woo’s ribs, all you get are 3 ribs and a beer. No fries, no brownie! And Trish, all she gets is some gummies and a small popcorn/soda? Come on, these people are starving! Sorry you didn’t get to see Jefra shower-PERV! 🙂 Finally, I keep thinking LJ looks totally awful at all of these jury shots at Tribal. I will confess, I had a tiny LJ crush, but in the jury scenes, he looks like an old guy with a bad comb-over. The jury members usually look so good when they come out at Tribal, but he always looks terrible.

  2. Yeah, I thought Trish really showed how dumb she is during the auction when she kept asking what they were waiting for. Had she never seen this show before?

  3. My girls! So nice to hear from you… 🙂

    (kinb) As you may recall, I was hesitant to get on Twitter all of last season, but it’s necessary for what I’m trying to do now. I get it if people don’t wanna get on it, so here’s my two cents based on my 6 months:

    1. If you don’t wanna tweet a lot and just follow a couple people, that’s best. Just as long as the people you follow aren’t fanatically tweeting shit all the time (annoying!)
    2. If you follow too many people, you’ll just end up missing everything. I’m following a ton of ex-players now and it’s more work trying to catch up on every tweet I missed than it is joy from reading some good ones.
    3. It’s hard/frustrating trying to get followers at the beginning. Believe me!

    And thanks for being such a big fan. I’m glad you’re digging my columns.

    -I wont’ hold my breath on my Sabotage theme, but I wont’ give up either.
    -Re: Tony, if you had Twitter, you would have seen my post where I wondered if Tony’s going to end up “pulling a Russell Hantz” and make it all the way to the end but lose to a Trish, Woo, or Tash because of the way he got everyone voted out. He’s putting WAY TOO BIG a target on his own back, seemingly orchestrating everyone’s departure. That’s not the way to cull jury votes…
    -And yeah, the auction was very…sparse. I wonder why?
    -Me? A perv? Pul-lease… 😉
    -Totally agree on LJ. Is anyone doing hair & make-up SUGGESTIONS for these people at Ponderosa? He looks older than me!
    Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it!

    (ericah) Something about Trish just makes me think she’s not the brightest light on the porch. Just comes across as a very simple person. Nothing wrong with that, but in a game based on outwitting, it seems like she’s unprepared. Like going to battle without a weapon…

    Thanks for writing! Have a great weekend!
    Fish

  4. 1) I like your “Sabotage” idea in some respect. It would be different and would definitely change how someone plays the game. Here’s what I fear though – I really like having someone to root for. There has to be players who I WANT to win the money. I tend to be totally turned off by players like Tony, Russell, and Brad C (to name a few). Those that are rude, overbearing, obnoxious people. I don’t even care if “they played a good game” by the end. I just want them to lose. SO, if they pick up your idea, I wouldn’t want it to be all totally cut throat and mean players. For example, Rupert stole those shoes at the very beginning of his first season. He could have come off as a total jerk, but instead he came off as a lovable guy with a mischievous streak. I could back a Rupert …. never a Russell or a psycho like J’Tia.
    2) I wanted to scream at Tash during the auction. First she bid on some stupid thing for $20 or something – WHAT?!? Do you realize you are playing Survivor? You know there will be some type of advantage at the end. You NEED that; you don’t need some jelly beans (or whatever). And then to let it go at just the two of them. Did you start out on the Brains tribe? Isn’t she an accountant or something? You don’t realize that you two have a better shot with 2 out of 3 than letting Spencer go it alone for a 50/50 shot? She did at least have an explanation …. But I still think she should have gone all in.
    3) Russell ran the game through fear, but he also played well (I still didn’t want him to get the money – see #1). Tony seems to be getting more and more irrational. I’m waiting for a J’Tia moment to pop up any time. I think he has lost any chance of getting votes from the jury at this point. Who knows though – these people tend to change their mind a LOT more than their underwear.

    Thanks for the great recap – as always!

  5. Hi rsanon, I totally agree with your point #1. If you recall, I said when I revealed it that you can’t have just a bunch of villains, America wouldn’t get behind it. You need to have some contestants who embody the “outwit” part of the theme. Whether that’s someone like Vytas who tried that cheap shot on his brother, or someone like Ciera who was willing to play both sides and make big moves, or even a guy like LJ, who everyone seems to love. It’s just the theme of the show, and Jeff can spin players any way he wants to make them more “sabotag-y.” If that’s a word…

    But I’m with you on not having a mean player win. As much as I enjoy a good blindside, deep down I want someone to win who a) deserves it (up to my discretion), b) played a smart game, and c) isn’t a jerk. There have been some players who played a strong game (like Russell H.) but the way he bullied people and his chauvinistic comments were troubling for me to get behind. I would have voted for Mick… And don’t even get me started on X’XXX…

    2. I discussed all that in the column. I totally agree with you. Why not go for the advantage and face off against Tony? Even if you don’t win, you’re making it more difficult on him. Oh well…

    3. I have a feeling that Tony’s actions are losing him jury votes (or LOST him jury votes) but he’s blinded by his own game. He’s thinking about how HE would vote for a winner, rather than how THEY should vote for a winner. It’s all about communication… You gotta figure out what they want to hear rather than what you wanna say…

    Thanks! Stay tuned for an epic conclusion to the season and the recaps…and hopefully more!
    Fish

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