O.M.G., Becky! Are we about to witness the first felony committed on Survivor? Methinks something’s afoot because I’ve seen the promos, and I’ve seen some revealing tweets (stop it, east coasters!) so I know something’s about to happen “that’s never happened before on Survivor.” I’m hoping there’s a pillow/tickle fight between Lindsey and Trish tonight, but I could be wrong about that… Wouldn’t be the first time Survivor has led me astray…
Now, before we get to the recap, I have to remind you that at the end of tonight’s column I’ve released the first group of names ranking all the Survivor players! Jump to the end if you’re so inclined, but I’d appreciate if you read through tonight’s recap first. Either way, we’re eventually going to rank EVERY castaway that’s ever played, starting tonight with the bottom 55 players. This, of course, includes THE WORST PLAYER OF ALL TIME, so let’s see if you agree with my rankings. I’ll break down the process of how players were ranked later, so go ahead read a few pages on the current season and build up some anticipation. There’s plenty of time to reveal who’s at the bottom. For now, let’s jump into some Brawn brouhaha!
After the recap of last week, something just seems different about the way the Solana tribe is shown returning to camp. Can’t put my finger on it, but it just seems like things are becoming a little dramatic. It’s like in a horror movie where the camera lingers on a dark window, or a door knob, or door frame, just long enough to make your mind think something’s going to pop up in the window, or turn the door knob, or pass by the door frame. That’s what horror movies do well. They allow you to take an active part in scaring yourself.
That’s what seems to be happening at the Solana tribe (maybe I’ve read too much into this!). Once they arrive, Trish feels compelled to clear the air on what just happened at Tribal. Problem is, you can’t just vote out someone’s main alliance, and then expect them to just accept it. You’ve got to give them some time to decompress. Sure, there’s going to be some vitriol, there’s going to be some hard feelings, and there’s going to be some anger. The thing is…let it lay for a night! People are already in a heightened sense of paranoia and emotion due to the physical aspects of the game, do you really need to pour salt in the wound and expect people to TALK about it right away?
Trish isn’t concerned with any of that and wants to tell everyone – specifically Lindsey – that they made a move and…you know what? I’m not even sure what she was trying to accomplish by speaking up. Was she looking for validation that they made the right move? Was she looking for acceptance? I don’t know… Regardless, Lindsey doesn’t want any part of Trish’s explanation, or friendship, or horse mouth, and essentially tells her to eff off.
Seems fair to me. I don’t see why Trish felt the need to push back but it must be an ego thing on her part. She voiced an unpleasant opinion and when someone who was affected negatively by that opinion does not want to accept it, it should just be, “let’s agree to disagree.” This is a game, of course.
And despite what I said last week about “respect your elders” and all that, I do think that if this was real life, I’d lean more towards Lindsey’s side on this. I think she should have just told Trish to STFU and move on, but since this is a game, maybe Lindsey should have taken a breath and not say anything too damaging to her endgame… Those horse comments are really kind of hateful…and juvenile. Nice role model…
So, fearing that she might find a can of whoopass under the tarp, Lindsey stomps off and leaves the safety of the camp, which concerns some of her tribe mates. Even Trish. And considering how many snakes and other creepy crawly things we’ve seen around camp this season, I don’t think that’s the best move for a hairstylist from Indiana . So as she sits on a rock (or is it a Komodo dragon?) pondering her next move, Jeff comes out to check on her. He’s obviously concerned for her well-being, but also wondering how this situation may affect the game. That’s speculation, but as a producer, you always have to consider how events could affect the show.
Lindsey tells him that while she needs the money more than anyone else, she doesn’t want her daughter to see her punch a horse in the mouth. I guess after Mongo did it in Blazing Saddles, there’s just no topping that! And so Jeff – after 27 seasons – doesn’t even seem interested in talking her out of it. I think he feels – akin to how he spoke to Colton last season – that “how dare you quit the game that gave you this golden opportunity!?” I would be pissed too if I was a producer. I’m sure they go through a significant casting procedure to find these contestants, spending hundreds (?) of man-hours preparing each person to be on the show. And this is how they’re repaid?! Lindsey doesn’t even have the courtesy to say goodbye to her tribe,
“I don’t even like horses, so I’m outta here…”
Maybe it had more to do with her alliance being blindsided, but what did you expect? Have you SEEN the previous 27 seasons? S**t happens and sometimes you’ve got to scramble. Deal with it.
Which is what Woo may have to do from this moment on as he learns from Jeff that Lindsey has officially quit. Woo went from a 5-2 advantage an hour ago to a 1-4 disadvantage. Sucks to be you, Robin…
And with that, all the drama that was teased this week has been resolved, and we’re only 7 minutes in! Wonder what else they’ll throw at us…?
First, I actually think Woo benefits with Lindsey gone. This way he’s not lumped with her – picking them off. Now, he can form his own alliances with out her and the other tribe members won’t associate him with her.
Second, that is quite a feat -your list. I like straight up stats, so this should be good.
Last, Alex is also my favorite on AI. Even though the ratings are down this season – I’m loving a few of the contestants and who doesn’t love HCJ? The judges panel is very strong, I think.
What a great idea for a list. Very comprehensive! I’m afraid I can’t remember most of those people but I’m sure as the list goes on I will. As for this weeks show, I have a few thoughts. 1) What happened to the spy shack? 2) Can we PLEASE not have any more shots of Tasha’s arm pit hair? Its soooo gross. Hey I just thought of something…hairy coconuts! But I digress. 3) As much as I found Lindsay annoying, she’s right about one thing. Trish is super annoying. When she said, “I’m a man” I think they should have cued a crickets sound bc that was the most awkward moment ever. 4)Who are your favorites on TAR?
My two biggest fans! Thank you for your weekly comments. I appreciate your support..
(ericah) About Woo: Maybe. Not sure if being totally unencumbered is good. While being a free agent has its benefits, it also makes him a target. Maybe people will view him as a non-threat and he’ll slip into the jury. You never know what alliances can form late in the game.
Thanks for the list love! I spent hours every night reviewing things so yes, comprehensive it is… (Did I just channel Yoda…?)
And on Idol, with Majesty going out now, I think there’ll be a new pecking order. Here are my quick thoughts and my favorites…
1. Alex – a real artist. He can’t lose, can he?
2. Caleb – great big voice, does America love rock, though…?
3. Jena (by default) – while she can sing, she reminds me of one of those girls in Theater who took Speech and learned how to enunciate to “the back of the room.” She enunciates, she doesn’t sing. Just let the words flow, baby…!
4. Sam – If this kid could learn to emote, he might amount to something. He reminds me of me when I was 16. He’s gotta relax a little and be reminded that he knows how to sing. My advice to Sam. Go get laid. It’ll take the edge off…
5-8 (a toss up)
Jessica – I like her, but she’s so one-notey… Mix it up a bit, girl. You got the talent!
CJ – He’s just so up and down. One week great, one week, blah… He’ll last until his next big mistake.
Malaya – I don’t get her at all. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t LOOK like an Idol (that is part of it, right…?). Any contestant with braces should be told, “Come back when they’re off or you get Invisalign…”
Dexter – I used to think better of him. He’s kinda become a one trick pony. Same thing every week…
Panel’s great. Glad JLo is providing real critiques this season…
(kinbville) Thank you! Comprehensive is an understatement. As a fan, I began to burn out a little seeing Jeff age so much….! (actually, hardly at alll)
I guess the SpyShack is uninhabited for now….? Yes, I agree about Tash. Clean that up! Or can someone find me a pair of tweezers..?! And that “man” comment was super creepy. Almost like, “this is not the first time this subject has come up…”
And with TAR, here are my Faves/Hates:
Faves:
Dave & Conner
Cowboys
Hates:
Brenchel
To be honest, I don’t get really invested in the players. I’m more a fan of the show itself. Where they go, what they see, what they do. I hate Brenchel purely based on how Rachel was last time, and even though she’s better, I just don’t like whiney, bitchy, people. Especially when you’ve already won a million dollars!
Thanks again! Have a great weekend!
Fish
Fish, loving the blog! The list idea is perfect. Great idea. And, great dedication to your craft you’re showing by going back and watching ALL of the seasons again to create the list. You should be proud of that.
As for Idol, I have to say this has to be one of the worst seasons for my taste. I don’t find ANY of the contestants worthy of paying my own money to listen to. I do agree that Alex is an “artist,” but there’s 5 KABILLION other Alex’s out there in the world today. These kids keep getting told that they’re so unique, but yet you watch all the talent shows and there’s an Alex or 5 on all of them. I’m not saying they can’t sing, but for me, they’re a dime a dozen these days. I just think the American Idol shtick is played out. I enjoy The Voice much more, and I don’t even really enjoy that show, either. 🙂
And, I 100% agree on Malaya. I don’t get it, either. Again, sure she can sing generally well, but she’s nothing special.
It’ll be a tough year to predict a winner, but I actually think Caleb might win. But, who knows. If it’s not him, I have no idea who will win.
Lastly, Sam kind of comes off as one of those kids who once he does get laid, his mind will be COMPLETELY blown. He’ll turn into a gangster rapper or some other outrageously change of pace from his demeanor now.
Oh Brian, you are going to hate me. I actually like Brenchel. I’m a huge Big Brother Fan (though she was really annoying on that show) and for some reason, I now like Rachel. Also, I really like Bendon. He looks just like my nephew. My TAR favorites are Brenchel (shame!!!!), The Cowboys, the Globetrotters and the Afghanimals. I agree with you about the show. I love seeing all the locations and tasks. Plus, I’m just a reality show junkie. For some reason, I hate all the music shows/talent/dancing. Don’t watch Idol, the voice etc. I watched Idol one season, the one with Daughtry on it. When he was voted out, I hated the show forever. 🙂
Scott! I love that you love it. You gave me a lot to live up to… I’m just hoping the List finds its legs in the Survivorverse (?)
Idol: It’s funny because earlier in the season I thought this was going to be a strong one. Lots of “good” singers, the show focused on singing rather than sucking, and it tried to get all the judges to give cogent notes. Still, after all that, we’re stuck with a bunch of “Mehs…” I only like Alex because he’s doing something different. As much as I like Caleb (cuz deep down I’m a rocker) his big voice is just something I’ve heard before…20 years ago. Gotta give him props for singing Rush, though…
And it’ll be interesting to see where Sam goes. His “deer in the headlights” shtick is so frustrating (if you’re not a tween girl…). Stay well, Scott!
(kinb) Last night was a perfect example of why I hate Rachel. When she screwed up the tuk-tuk challenge she almost melted down. And maybe it’s her constant squint that reminds me of a shar-peih. I don’t know. I like the Globetrotters because they always seem “in control” of their actions. And they don’t freak out. The Afghanimals are fine, but it looks like the Cowboys don’t like them. That “good job beating us” handshake on the mat last night was COOOOLLLLDDDD…
Can’t wait for Wednesday as something big’s supposed to happen at Tribal. Blindside, anyone…?
The “I’m really a man” comment was strange and strangely hilarious. I actually got two texts from friends asking – do you think she was serious??
I thought Spencer looked like a total douche in his intro, but he has grown on me. I hope he sticks around.
Oddly enough, I don’t feel like there are any really tight alliances at this point so I think the merge will be interesting.
I also watch TAR. I almost didn’t watch this season because that stupid Brenchel were returning. Although, I have to admit, she isn’t near as annoying as the last time she was on . . . she almost hit it this week during that little car challenge though. The Afghanimals were also extremely annoying the last show they were on. They have definitely toned it down this time. I really like the Cowboys, and I know the Globetrotters are probably rich but they seem like nice guys and I enjoy them on the show. Dave and Conner are another team I just like.
Thanks for the great Survivor recaps. You never fail to make me laugh – even if I don’t comment. I wish you were recapping TAR also. You’re comments are sarcastically funny and I’d definitely read your AR recap.