The end is upon us! That is the theme of this blog tonight. It’s been a heck of a ride, but it’s finally come to an end. Is everybody ok with that? I know I am.
The show begins with 9 minutes of me fast-forwarding and then Erik is going home! What?!? Really? That’s pretty crazy. He’s made it all the way to the final five and is just now cashing out? He probably should have chowed down on some more burgers before he left to do the show. Maybe that would have gotten him through the final few days. And, didn’t he JUST go on a reward? Perhaps, it’s all because Survivor skimped on the reward meals this year, only giving out finger foods and fruits? Hell, this is the guy who heard non-existent coconuts laughing at him – I think he needed a little more than a bologna sandwich and Hawaiian bread to hold him over…
Still, all kidding aside, how devastating is that to be knocked out of the game this late into the season? I’d never get over that. I don’t think I’d ever be able to get over being medically evacuated out of this game, but to have it be during top five? I’d become homocidal. And, I’d start with the doctor who told me I couldn’t go back into the game. In all honesty, we can’t be certain Erik didn’t compete in all these challenges with dizziness and headaches, the way he’s been competing. He still would have made final three even if he had to sit out the last challenges.
Eddie – you’re wrong. You’re still not winning. Even with Erik gone now.
After Erik leaves, Cochran wants to get in good with Eddie, because he believes Eddie is going to win the next challenge, and will have more of a say who makes it to final three. Ugh, Cochran, have you been watching along with us this season? Eddie is WORTHLESS in challenges. He won’t even come in second. You’re going up against The Toothless Wonder, The Useless Male, and The Useless Female, I think the only person you need to worry about now is you. If you don’t win this show, you’re a loser. And, yes, I understand I’m saying this now, already knowing who wins the show…
Along with wanting Eddie to be sitting with him in the final three (assuming Eddie wins the immunity challenge), he wants Sherri in there with him. I mean, come on, has there been a more obvious choice to take to the final three in Survivor history than Sherri? She’s been useless and worthless since the beginning. She likes to think she was the Shamar Whisperer, but in reality, she was just the only one who cared enough to think that calming him down was going to get her further in the game. Well played, Fast Food Queen. Have another Whopper on us, for your efforts this season. That’s about all they’ve been worth. The JR Whopper – let’s not get carried away here. And, no cheese. That sh*t’s extra. You didn’t earn extra. You’re lucky I’m still letting you get condiments on it. Don’t push for cheese.
At the reward challenge, Cochran ends up winning. See, Cochran, Eddie is no threat. The game is yours. Along with the no food you win, you’ve won an advantage in the final immunity challenge. Of course, we know from last season that this means nothing in the game, so hopefully you won’t pull another Malcolm, and squelch the advantage. Also – you are NOT “The Challenge Beast.” Read above in regards to who you just beat in that challenge. That’s like me beating my daughter in Skee-ball and crowning myself the best that’s ever played it, even though someone 3 ‘lanes’ down easily squashed my point total.
Sherri and Eddie run off into the woods to prove how worthless they really are, by squawking about how Dawn will win this game if she makes the final three, because she’s soooooo powerful with her sob story. Yes, because sob stories is what has won Survivor in the past. Are these people even fans of the show? Granted, we’ve had some non-deserving winners in the previous seasons, but none have ever won because they had a sob story about having too many kids and no front teeth! Can’t you two just develop stomach pains and get sent home together. Even though I don’t believe Dawn “deserves” to be in the final three, I’d still much rather see her in it than either of you two idiots.
Time to fast-forward again. As if I wanted to reminisce over these idiots again. Isn’t that what the first 9 minutes of the show I fast-forwarded through was all about? Next year, just make this episode 90 minutes and cut all this other junk out. I’m sure CBS would be more than glad to run another rerun of The Big Bang Theory or Two and a Half Losers. Spare us this junk.
I am bummed that you are “retiring” Scott! I have always enjoyed your humor and writing style – definitely going to miss you! If/When you ever decide to write again, just know that I will be right there with you! Good luck Scott!
Scott, I will also miss reading your blogs on Survivor and Big Brother. I don’t even watch Big Brother but would read your blogs just for the entertainment value. If/when you decide to write again then please try and get word to us RS fans. Good luck!
Every Thursday morning I check and keep checking to see if your blog is up. Survivor won’t be the same without you!
I appreciate the kind words, everyone! Survivor and Big Brother won’t ever be the same for me, either. I’ve enjoyed adding some entertainment value to the show for all of you. And, if I ever do start up writing again, I’m sure Steve will help me pass the word to all of you good people.
I was laughing my ass off through your blog (it was hilarious, I promise you) until the last paragraph. Now I’m just sad. I actually can’t believe how much I will miss your blogs about both Survivor and BB. 🙁 Thanks for the debates and the laughs!!
I think Cochran hands down is the best I’ve seen handle a final tribal council. He had great responses – exactly what he was talking about – just the right timing of aggression and emotion in his arguments – but ultimately he was very authentic and honest. Sounds cliche, but he was so transparent, that people trusted his answers. I don’t think Dawn was. Authenticity will always win out – even if a person is a little bad. That is probably the most I’ve admired the guy, and he’s come a long way.
I think Dawn had a break down every week, because she strayed pretty far from her true self and was in conflict with that every week. She was doing some things opposite of who she really was, and it took an incredible toll. Problem is, she was doing things that were really herself too – like the friendship with Brenda. She should have held back and not gotten so close to those people until after, then she wouldn’t have had such a tough time turning on them. While she did make the decision to do things she wouldn’t normally do, she still did a lot of the things she normally would do too. Which is why she felt schizo a lot of the time – she kinda was 2 people.
And Lastly Scott – you need to answer this for me before you disappear – were you really roommates at Harvard with Cochran? 😉
Hey Cndgirl, I’ve appreciated your comments on just about every blog I’ve written! I enjoy your point of view and your take on these stupid shows! 🙂
As far as Cochran being my roommate – he was most definitely not! I was just messing around. If he was, he would’ve been doing guest spots on here every week.
This was my first season reading but I wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed your humor throughout the season!
I have a question and an opinion:
Who gets the 100k second place if no one gets votes? If they sucked that bad it should just go to a therapy fund for The Hand in my opinion.
Also, do you think Malcolm kinda screwed Dawn at the beginning of tribal? Her plan all along might have been to prove that she’s a cutthroat player that played a great game but I watched it and just thought to myself “wow she’s really trying to prove herself to Malcolm.” It completely made me stop listening to her and I only felt that she was following Malcolm’s orders of proving herself.
No way she would’ve won either way but maybe she could’ve squeezed a vote or two out if Malcolm wouldn’t have started the entire thing off the way he did.
Thanks for all the entertainment!
So this season was taped around 8.5 months ago? I sure hope so or Brenda has some explaining to do! Why wasn’t the whole tribe up on the stage? Was Brandon even there, I figured he wasn’t and they didn’t want to draw attention to that?! Will miss your blogs, you are a very funny muther f*cker ya know!
How much you wanna bet Brandon wasn’t there because he’s part of the next season blood vs water that’s probably taping right now? Damn survivor, they’ll do anything to bring them hantz family back…
I’m going to miss you, Scott.
I know I haven’t posted this season (my mother was critically ill from about August 2012 to this past month – doing better now, against all odds – and I’ve been busy/exhausted providing care), but I’ve read your posts whenever I’ve had some “down time” and have really enjoyed them.
Seriously, when things go sideways in life you really need something (ANYthing) to take you away from drama, depression and despair, so you’ve been one of my “lifelines.”
I wish you all the best in your future endeavors & hope you’ll be somewhere on the ‘interweb’ where you can continue to share your talents!
All the best from FanofSteve (and I continue to apologize for my username … but when I first found this site, it was populated only by Reality Steve. I am also FanofScott)!
Thanks everyone for the kind words! I REALLY do appreciate them. I care about all of my readers in a grateful way, so you can take that as genuine when I thank you.
As for the $100k second place prize, I think this is the first time we’ve ever been told about a second place prize for Survivor. I wonder why they did that & allowed Cochran’s comment to air. Personally, I think he may have meant the Sprint Player of the Year or maybe he knew something we all didn’t. I don’t know why they wouldn’t make that info more public. Since nobody got votes, I think they should just give it to Cochran. Don’t be greedy, CBS, and just keep it for yourself.
Also, I believe the show was taped well longer in advance than just 8.5 months. I think it was more like 11-12 months ago at this point in time. Brandon gave an interview a month or so ago, and said something along the lines of it being 10 months passing since taping, so I’d imagine Brenda’s in the clear & isn’t having Cochran’s love child!
I think it’s a foregone conclusion that Brandon is on next season with either Russell, his father, or whoever it was on the Big Brother season a few years back. 100% sure of this.
And, FanofSteve, no worries about the name. I wish you all the best, and hope for a full recovery for your mother! Glad I could help you out even a little bit with my stupid little recaps…
Goodbye you funny motherf*ucker, you will be missed.
Sigh…I am going to miss your recaps so much. How lucky for me you’re my BIL and I’ll get to pick your brain about this stuff whenever I want 🙂
That being said, what if we hatch a plan that I am sooo pissed off at you for “retiring” and we can somehow take that “hatred” onto Survivor blood vs. water? LOL, I’m never gonna let it go…we need to get on a reality show. BB, Survivor, even Catfish was a suggestion, so I’m waiting!
Glad I’m done watching Dawn cry every week. Nothing is more annoying then me watching someone cry, probably because I WOULD be that annoying girl crying ever week.
Great recaps. Thank you.
I am thrilled that Cochran won. He earned it by playing a really good game this season. I like Malcolm too, he’s a good competitor and isn’t mean. I am glad he won the Sprint award. I did not cast a vote.
Brenda played a great game, but not everyone can win, and she should have understood that by getting voted out, it meant she was a serious threat. She should have been prepared for that. I felt she made a mistake in choosing Dawn to share the family reward. She should know to pick your enemy. If she had picked Eddie, then who cares if Eddie didn’t get to spend time with his brother? I think that at the point Dawn would have felt better about Brenda and not allowed her to blindsided. Just my idea.
Andrea’s blindside was the best one. And the fact that she accepts it for what it was (great game play) shows what a good player she is.
Sherri is delusional if she thinks she was ever in control of anything. The way she yelled at Eric was shocking. He was right, the only reason she was still sitting up there was because she was a total non threat and was carried into the final 3. Does she not know how the game is played? Does she think that she carried Dawn or Cochran into the final 3? She sucked at all challenges.
I felt sorry for Eric being medically eliminated. But, seriously, they had more than finger foods! Cochran’s dad, the neurologist, was grilling up burgers! Eric was just so thin and desperate to eat a coconut. Were there no fish to catch???
Phillip is scary crazy and Reynolds isn’t as much of a jerk as I thought he would be. I really do not want to see Brandon get anymore air time. The guy needs serious therapy. But, I thought the same thing: blood is thicker than water. Family vs. Friends.
Great season of recaps. I hope you didn’t get sick from your daughter. Get used to it though. You’ve got years of having her bring home many germs!