SURVIVOR: PHILIPPINES – 10/3/12

After the challenge, and a commercial break, Penner tells us that he knows Jeff Kent knows that he has the hidden immunity idol, so he decides to confess to him that he did indeed find it. He does it as a way of, hopefully, earning his trust. Jeff realizes that it may be smart to “ride in his boat” for a while, but he’s still a little leery of him, so he only gives him a four-fingered handshake, and not a five-fingered handshake, which is a man’s handshake according to the Gentleman Kent. So, in his world, a four-fingered handshake means nothing. Sorry, Jeff, but in Survivor, a blowjob doesn’t even mean anything, so you’re stupid plan with your four-fingered handshaking is ridiculous. I’ll tell you what you can do with those four fingers, but I’m guessing you already know. That’s right, you can shove them right up Abi-Maria’s @sshole.

Who in the f*ck is this Artis guy? Did he just join the show? Does anybody else remember him from the past two episodes? I have to say I have no clue as to who he is. I don’t even remember seeing him in the pictures CBS released before the show aired. So goes that 3-2 vote Peter was talking about when he was talking to Daisy Duke about voting out Skupin. Hell, I don’t even think Peter knew this Artis guy was on his tribe and just remembered the four others and him. But, anyway, Artis is pissed off that they’re not going to Tribal or something, all because Mike is bleeding from the face after telling him not to dive with the mask on his face, but then doing it himself, and now he’s bleeding because of it. Somehow, this is the reason they came in second and Artis just doesn’t appreciate that Mike cost them the game. Honestly, I don’t even know what the hell I just wrote, but it sounds all the more ridiculous hearing it live, on the show. I think Artis and Abi-Maria should never be allowed to hang out, because those two just seem to be all wound up and the rest of the tribes may want to hide their machetes if those two ever get to talking!!

While he’s rambling on about Mike bleeding from the face, Abi-Maria and Peter scavenge the campsite for the idol. They tear the place apart, and then out of nowhere, all of the sudden, from halfway across the camp, the ever-genius Abi-Maria has the wonderful idea (all on her own, I’m sure) to take the emblem piece off of the rice basket. First, how did she even know it would come off? Well, I guess there is no second there, but still. And, I like how she said, “I knew it was there,” yet tore apart the entire camp before she decided to look there! That makes a whole lot of sense. You know, because when I know I left my keys in the car, I tend to move the lawnmower, open the garbage cans, take the ladder down from the wall, check in my baseball bag, look in the garbage cans again, pop the trunk of my wife’s car, check the mailbox, and then finally decide to check the ignition of my car because that’s where I knew they were all along. Nice try, Abi. We almost believed you.

Poor Malcolm. He got stuck with a group of goons. One thing I’ve always wondered (another sidenote); why do they always walk back to camp in single file? Once they get within seeing-eye distance of their camp, can’t they break formation and walk alongside each other? Or, can’t they do that anyway, considering this isn’t prison or an 8th grade fire drill? They must run a tight camp down there in Survivor production! Anyway, back to poor Malcolm, I really feel as if he believes this is reflecting poorly on him. I kind of feel as if he had laid down some bets with his buddies back home about how he was going to win every challenge and be the most decorated player ever in the history of Survivor, and now he’s laying a huge green-and-brown turd instead. He talks to Denise about how worthless the other two are when Angie walks up on them and states her case that if she had a cookie or two before the challenge, she would have gotten that puzzle piece on the first try. Or something along those lines, does anybody really listen to her talk after that cookie comment, anyway?

Russell is off on his own, talking to God, and telling us that his tribe would be making a bold move by getting rid of him, a strong player, at this point in the game. Uh, sorry to burst your bubble Russell, but you almost died out there today. Twice. I don’t think you’re as strong as you think you are. Just because you are willing to give your life up for a cause does not make you strong. It kind of makes you stupid. Part of being strong is knowing your limits and I’m guessing you are still learning yours, even the second time around, here on Survivor.

At Tribal, I am disappointed in my boy Probst for not bringing a plate of cookies for Angie!! How hilarious would that have been? At this point, this tribe needs all the help they can get, and really, what damage is it going to do to let the poor girl eat a Thin Mint or Vanilla Wafer? She’s probably just going to puke it up after everyone else is sleeping anyway!

Malcolm makes a comment about this season being “heartbreaking,” which just adds to my belief that he is losing all kinds of bets back home. He believes they need to stop being “so nice” about competitions and to stop thinking they are playing 5th grade dodgeball, where everyone should get a turn. To him, I’d say that challenge was an anomaly because most challenges aren’t designed where even the players playing in the challenge can sit out if they’d like. Typically, everyone has a job to do, and they need to do it, so this may be a one time thing where they can just do it all themselves if they like. But, I get what he is saying, and understand his frustration. I’ve been the best player on a bad team before, and it’s not very easy to do while keeping your mouth shut the whole time about how bad everyone else is.

Russell rips into Angie, talking about how she just doesn’t have the physical stength to hang with him, how he’s willing to die for the game and she just wants to lick Malcolm’s balls at night, and how there are still 30 more days left and she’s just not up for that like he is. And, I think that’s the truest point he could have driven home. That girl could NOT have handled 30 more days out there, that’s for sure. Sure, she’s crying because of the things Russell said, but even she knows they’re true. Probst tries to save her by bringing up that perhaps loyalty may be more important to winning the game, rather than having strength around to win some challenges, but Malcolm brings up the point that you have to get to the point where you can win the game, and you do that by winning challenges, not just keeping around who is loyal to you. Both points are valid, but when you’re on the worst tribe ever assembled in Survivor history, you need to win more than you need people to be loyal. Worry about loyalty once you get to the merge and then you can regret sending home your best ally in Angie once you realize Russell is leaving you for another alliance!!

And the bell tolls for Angie and her boob thing. She gets voted out! I knew her time was running thin from the first second I saw her picture on the CBS website, but I do have to say she lasted two more episodes than I figured! I’ll take our time we had together and cherish it forever, Angie. Stay strong, eat a cookie for me, and I’ll eat this one for you! Enjoy your modeling career.

I will end up by sharing the “big” news I had for you in my previous blog. I said there were two things. The first was the Christina Cha interview. The second is that I’m starting my own website. I haven’t launched it yet, but when I do, you will be the first to know. Well, I should say my facebook friends and twitter followers will be the first to know since I’ll probably launch it before I write to you next. I just have to figure out this whole web hosting thing. I’m computer illiterate, so I have no idea how to transfer my domain name from the site I registered it on to the site I want to have host it. But, I’ll get it figured out and will have it out for the world to see. I’m NOT leaving Reality Steve, so don’t worry about that. My new website won’t have much to do with reality television, more along the lines of scripted series, movies, maybe some sports, and some pop culture as well. So, I hope you follow me over to my new site, as well as stay here and read these blogs. I enjoy sharing my opinion and feel that I have a voice people like to listen to, therefore I’d like to try and branch off on my own. I won’t measure my success on how many readers I get, but more how much I enjoy writing what I write. I hope to see you there. The site will be tvonthedaily.com. Remember that name, share it with your friends and family, shout it out at your local grocery store at its busiest hour, post it on other blogs you know and read, do anything you can to get people to come read me and my crooked point of views! I appreciate my readers, and am going to show some of my gratitude by having a space on my new website where I will post reader reviews. It will be just like a message board for my readers to voice their opinion on any show, movie, entertainment event, whatever. I may even have a few special guest bloggers from time to time that I’m sure you will all love to read. So, stay tuned for all that. Get excited.

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
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