SURVIVOR: PHILIPPINES – 10/3/12

RC leaves Abi, and goes off swimming with Mike, telling him that Abi is losing it. All the while, Abi is walking away, scoping the two of them swimming together, and most likely strategizing on how she’s going to murder the two of them in their sleep and make it look like a Drew Peterson-style accident, blue barrel, bathtub and all. Before she kills them, though, she goes and tells Peter about having the clue for the idol and tells us that she’d rather find it with him than with RC, and now wants to find it before RC does.

Lots going on over at the Tan, Long, and Strong Dong tribe, because Peter than runs off with Sammy Jo Dean (Lisa, for all of you who aren’t following along with me & the 80s character names), telling her that the rest of the tribe wants her out first. But, he tells us that he doesn’t want her to go, because he likes her and wants to keep her in the game over the likes of a Mike Skupin, because she’d be easier to get rid of later on the down road. He tells her that he wants to work with her, as long as she votes the way he wants her to vote. She tells us that she is playing this game one day at a time, and that each day is a new high or low, and today is a high because she has new life in the game, and seems to be sticking around a little while longer, because Peter wants her to join him and Abi-Maria to vote out Mike Skupin in a blindside the next time they lose an immunity challenge.

After all that unfolded at Tan Dong, Dana over at the Kalabaw tribe portion of the island notices that the emblem on top of the rice basket is missing. Right away, everyone should know what it means, and Jeff Kent certainly does. He goes around talking to other members of his tribe (seriously, I don’t know any of their names & still don’t even after the episode is over), insinuating that Penner has the idol. Jeff and another guy make the comment I always like to hear from people on Survivor, and that is that even people with the idol can still be voted out. Thank you! I have tried for years to tell everyone that having the immunity idol means jack diddly. Not unless you are deep in the game, and outnumbered and/or on your own, does it ever really come in handy. Otherwise, you’re just going to end up playing it out of paranoia, and/or just shuffling the deck so you’re around for one or two more days, until the next Tribal council. When people know that someone has the idol, all they need to do is play it cool and keep that person in the loop, talk to them, keep them confident that the vote is going the way they want it, and you have the recipe for the perfect blindside. I know that’s probably easier said than done in the game, but I just hate how everyone gets so bummed out when they think/know that someone has the idol. It means nothing unless they play it. Worry about it then. Up until the moment they take it out of their crotch and hand it to Jeff, strategize like it’s not even in play.

The Matsing tribe is just lost. They have to be the worst tribe ever assembled in the history of Survivor. They wake up in the morning and realize that their raft is gone! The fact that they even kept the raft on the beach is beyond me. You never assume that you have anything placed above the tide line when you are on a beach. Did we not learn anything from the tsunami in Japan? Water has a mind of its own and just because the dark sand ends at a certain point does NOT mean the water is never going to flow past that mark! I’d say I feel bad for Malcolm, who seems like he can handle himself and is quite athletic, but then I remember he got stuck on a tribe with Angie, and I’m sure that more than makes up for a little portion of his tribe sucking at life. Outside of losing their raft, Denise and Malcolm believe they are sitting pretty because nobody suspects that they are working together. Everyone is focusing on Malcolm and Angie, leaving them to work securely, in secret. Let me reign on their parade for a quick minute. When you say “everyone,” who exactly are you talking about? It’s just you four. Malcolm and Angie are a pair, and one of that pair already know about the Denise and Malcolm pairing, because, well, one of those people is Malcolm. The only other person is Russell. So, who exactly are you talking about that is so focused on the Malcolm and Angie duo? Just Russell? Wow, great secret alliance you guys got going there. You are crafty f*ckers outfoxing the likes of Russell. How about you spend your time checking to see if your raft washed up on the beach a few miles down the way rather than talking about how great your secret alliance is right out in the open and all. Can we just disqualify these four and move to the merge already?!?

After all that commotion, it’s time for Immunity to be handed out. And, something I’d like to mention is that, for a competition like this, I don’t think it’s necessary to make the other two tribes sit out members of their tribe. If anything, Matsing needs those losers to compete, so that they even stand a chance at winning. Maybe Probst and the production staff ought to look into making that change with next season and beyond. If it’s a basketball game or something, then yes, by all means sit players out, but for something where they are just taking turns swimming, I think it’s ok to let everyone participate, especially after we find out that not everyone even needed to go collect a piece.

Shocking that Angie sucks it up for Matsing, isn’t it? At least she looks good in her bikini, right? Actually, to tell the truth, I don’t really like her bikini. The thick strip underneath the breasts just doesn’t do it for me, but I guess she’s going more for comfort with her boob thing and all. Anyway, she puts the Matsing tribe at an even bigger disadvantage by falling far behind the other two tribes, and all I can say is that it’s not really her fault, but more the tribes fault for allowing her to go first. You never let your weakest player go first. Also, her boobs should automatically disqualify her from anything involving water, seeing how she’s just going to float at the surface with those floaties on her chest. You never want to start off a race in last place. I understand that the first piece is the closest to the surface, but you still never want to send out your weakest player first. And, then, to find out that not everyone needed to rotate into the water, why would they even bother sending Angie out? Bad decision all around. Oh, and your next worst decision was trusting Russell to go next! Geez, the man couldn’t even climb a ladder, and for a quick second, I thought he might actually die during this competition, looking the way he did climbing that ladder. I, for sure, thought he was going to pass out, fall back into the water and just sink far down past the point of rescue. I think I would have liked to see that happen, just to see who would have jumped in first to save him. I wonder if my boy Probst would have been first.

Somehow, Skupin is bleeding from the face. Good Lord, if Russell isn’t going to die this season, it’s going to be Skupin. I’d say he might die in the fire, but he’s apparently already tried that form of suicide before. So, I’m going with a death by coconut tree. Either he’ll fall from the top of a tree while trying to get a coconut that’s not even there, or he’ll just be walking under a tree when a 30 pound engorged coconut will fall right on top of his skull and crack it open much like the contestants crack open the coconuts each season. And, the coconut shall have its revenge on Survivor. Finally!!

RC seems to be putting my boob vs. water theory to shame, seeing how she attacked this challenge the way she did. If she doesn’t win that stupid “Player of the Week” vote, everyone voting is just stupid. She crushed that challenge, going out three times in a row, and going out again after that, as well.

Meanwhile, Russell decides to go in the place of Angie, even though Denise just got done setting record times with her plunge into the abyss. What ends up happening? The man comes up empty handed. And, instead of diving down for another try, he just swims back with nothing to show for his efforts other than shortness of breath and a possible wheeze or two. It’s no wonder why Angie thinks you’re the weak link, buddy! If the Girl Scout (get it, because they sell cookies!!) thinks you’re the weak link, that’s pretty bad.

Anyway, Kalabaw wins, The Long Dong comes in 2nd, and Russell will have to hold his breath to find out if the rest of his tribe thinks like Angie does, and sends him packing. For my liking, it was almost as if Angie used the immunity idol last week and graced me with one more week of getting to see her and her boob thing, but it’s most likely her time to go now. My wife will be happy if that’s the case.