More delusional chatter to start off this wondrous finale episode of the greatest (no sarcasm there) season in Survivor history! This is going to be a 3-hour coronation of the most obvious champion in the history of this great show. But, we will have to sit through crap like Alicia telling us she had to get rid of “one of her powers” by voting out Tarzan. Like she’s some sorceress or something and she had to get rid of her magical healing power or something. This isn’t Once Upon A Time, Alicia, wrong show. For all you who watch that show, as well, don’t worry, that finale wasn’t all that satisfying either. Anyway, Alicia goes on about how she believes she’s here at the end because she’s played “one hell of a game.” Oh, I don’t know so much about that, Alicia. For someone who believes they are playing one hell of a game and that they are running things, you kinda don’t vote out your “pawn” 2 steps before the end when that pawn is going to be responsible for getting you to that end. If you have yourself two pawns (or, at least you believe you have two pawns), and the game you are playing has a final 3 to end the show, wouldn’t you think you then want you and your two pawns sitting together at the end? Especially when those two pawns are Tarzan and Christina? Yeah, great game, Alicia.
Kim talks to Sabrina about the possibility of voting out Chelsea. Sabrina questions Kim’s honor. Nothing else is made of it because, guess what, this was just another fabricated conversation by Production to make us believe that there is a chance Chelsea isn’t going to the end with Kim. They have to fill 2 hours somehow, right? I do believe that Kim has considered voting out Chelsea, but at the same time it has been 100% obvious that it was never going to happen, so there would be no reason for her to go and have a conversation to “feel out” how others feel about it. Come on, Kim, you’ve played this entire season, you’ve seen how everyone here has always been like, “Well, as long as it’s not me…” Nobody came to this island to play the game, so that is why I’ve never taken any conversation Kim had, out loud, about voting out Chelsea, seriously. Also, I think I realized something about Kim while watching this episode. I’ve never thought Kim was a bad person. I always thought she was nice and genuine and probably someone I would feel that same way about in real life. But, listening to her talk and just observing her in the game made me realize that you end up disliking people “on top” just because they’re there. We, as people, tend to see those people as cocky and egotistical and whatnot, when really they aren’t, they’re just better at the game then everyone else. I changed my position on Kim during this finale. I still didn’t want her to win, only because we all like to see the underdogs win, but I stopped disliking the fact that she was going to win.
Has anyone else noticed that just about every challenge on this show involved some type of knots the contestants had to untie? Is the set producer a f*cking 8-year old boy scout troop or something? A boat captain? What’s the deal with the damn knots, Survivor? Let’s change things up next season, ok?
Also, what exactly is being blurred out when they show girls from behind in their swimsuits? Is it pubic hair? Is a lip hanging out? What is going on that it needs to be blurred out sometimes, but not others? I can’t imagine Alicia’s vagina is just hanging out the back end of her swimsuit while she’s zig-zagging her jiggly ass around the competitions. Maybe this is the reason they sell the seasons on DVDs, so that jackasses like me can find these things out. That just made me wonder exactly how much nudity is on those tapes? Hmm…I just intrigued myself into possibly wanting to see one of these DVDs. Oh, trust me, I’m not stupid enough to actually spend my money, I’ll let some other idiot do that and then let me borrow it.
Oh and Kim wins immunity. Shocked?
Love reading your recaps.
Re: Alicia’s blurred ass – My husband said, “Surely her bush isn’t so overgrown after 30 days that they need to blur it out??” hahahaha I’m not sure what they are blurring out but almost immediately after he said that, there was a shot of Alicia back at camp and she had her hands on her hips (I presume) and for a second you could see the hairiest arm pit I have ever seen on a woman. I had to rewind it twice to believe what I was seeing.
Anyway, that’s disgusting that Colton will be allowed back on tv. I think he and Alicia should be shamed for their behavior. Alicia is a nasty, delusional, selfish woman. I would never trust her with a child, especially one with special needs. She seems like the type of person that would berate and abuse people left in her care.
And am I the only one that remembers Alicia and Colton calling Christina a roach, etc.?? When did Alicia and Christina partner up? I know it’s a way late to point this out, but I couldn’t remember my damn login for WordPress and was too lazy to look it up to comment until now. 😉
Looking forward to your recaps for next season! And hopefully it will be a more interesting group of people.
Yeah, I take issue with the whole Alicia/Christina teaming up, too. Christina was completely involved in the early season bashing of Christina, but you have to remember Christina is the same girl who was rubbing Colton’s head the same night after he called her all those nasty names, because of his “stomach” issues he was having.
As for her armpit, I am 1,000% happy I did not notice that. I was probably busy writing something down when it glanced on the screen! That is nasty…I’m guessing it is because of her “bush” and if that’s the case, then yes thank you for blurring it, CBS. I will NOT be purchasing that DVD…
I really hope one of the returning players next season is Mike Skupin from season 2. The first player ever to be evacuated. He was supposed to play against Coach in the South Pacific season, but he has a death in the family and they put Ozzy in his place. No one is more deserving than Mike for a second chance. Every one from his season said that he would have won if he hadn’t fallen into the fire.
Ok, so I only watched the first hour. The series finale of Desparate Housewives was more important and I was DVRing Sister Wives. The season was boring and I knew Kim was going to win. Pointless to watch. Too bad I love survivor. I agree that I probably hated Kim just because I knew she was winning. Catch you back on Big Brother.
I wish I could have shut the finale off after the first few minutes. I’m surprised you even made it the full hour!
Now come one Scott you’re really not going to comment on the moment when Jeff directed a question to Matt about giving up immunity only to have Matt respond by telling him that happened AFTER he was voted off? I know how much you love Probst (as we all do) but really? Who set that question up without fact checking?
Did I hear there are going to be three tribes next season? Hmmm, are they going to be smaller tribes or more players? I was excited to see how the whole “one world” thing was going to play out, and CBS managed to make that boring (they should NOT have merged tribes and NOT made it men against women). I’m pretty sure they will find a way to make three tribes as unexciting as possible.
Thanks Scott for a great season of sarcastic, snarky, recaps which always made my Thursday and Fridays at work a bit more bearable! And the missing has begun…
Lots to comment and I’ll try not to forget, but like you Scott, my brain thinks too fast and I forget things I wanted to say…
1) I think after seeing the girls “done up”, Kat was actually really pretty and I gained a lot of respect for her w/ her speech to the jury. Finally a player who votes on who DESERVES to win and not who they aren’t mad at. Agree about Monica, she’s also very pretty!!
2) Lost respect when Troyzan voted Sabrina. I liked him at times, not anymore. That girl didn’t do anything, said she lost challenges on purpose, which is not the case, she just sucked and she knows it. She was the worst challenge player maybe ever.
3) Why does Colton need to come back? I think CBS should ban him after the awful things he said. Bill put it best by saying some of the things he said like get a real job, etc. could have been game, but saying he should kill himseld and ghetto trash were not. I LOVE the idea of bringing back people who left for medical reasons, but not Colton.
4) I gained respect for Kim telling Christina she was going home that night. I get the girl did nothing to try and stay, but I kinda got her point. There was no way she was going to stay. None what so ever.
5) Thought it was interesting Jeff asked audience to compare Colton and Russell Hantz and everyone said NO. Nothing Russell did/said was like what Colton said/did. Russell was one of the best to ever play (besides Boston Rob) and glad at least audience sees it since the people who play the game are too stupid to see Russell should have won his season.
6) What if they pair up people and have them voted off as pairs? Bring back duos who played “together” (ex. Kim/Chelsea, Boston Rob/Amber, etc.) I can’t think of any more, but know there’s tons. They win immunity as pairs. I think that’s interesting and nothing that they’ve done.
I think that’s it. Oh, one last thing, people actually voted KIM as their favorite of season? Sorry, but Tarzan was by far the most hilarious person on the show. I obviously did not vote, but KIM really? Althought she was the most deserving of the 3 of them, she is not a favorite of mine at all. She’s boring!!!
giget, I think I was out of it by that point and just didn’t even bother writing anything down. What I DID forget and am upset I forgot (and wanted to get on Jeff about) was when he did two things at the second-to-last immunity when Alicia was untying the knots and he told her that she didn’t need to untie the ones she was doing. So what, Jeff, let her screw up if she has to. Since when do you get involved with what is going on and try and help the contestants? I’m SOOOOO mad I missed this in my blog, because I wanted to rip on him for that. Also, secondly, when Kim was catching up, he was like “Come on, girl!!” What??? Playing favorites much?
Also, Jack, just one comment in regards to Kat. Yes, I gained respect for her, but this is another thing I thought about and changed my mind on. Since when did Kat think that way? No way in hell was that HER speech she wrote. It was just the night before when she was calling those girls b*tches and rolling her eyes, sounding all spiteful, and then the very next day she had this epiphany? I don’t buy it.
Oh, and no doubt Colton never needs to show his face on TV again. These people are better people than I, because, I would have had a tirade all cued up to spout off once Jeff asked me to speak in regards to Colton and his fat, ugly face…
Great recap, Scott. I like the fact your recaps are well-written and coming from the perspective of a fan of the show. Unlike other recaps on this site…
Here’s a few thoughts on the finale and all your comments:
-The whole blurred thing is just a Standards & Practices thing since it’s shown at 8pm on CBS. The only thing they’re blurring is Alicia fat underbooty sticking out of her chonies. They could probably get away with it, but there are kids watching. You’d think by now the show would provide some booty shorts the girls could wear.
-And I never got why Alicia thought she was so powerful. Is she that delusional? Maybe she is if she thinks she’s a compassionate person who works as an educator. Very disgusting behavior all season. Look, I understand when you’re in your ITMs, the show tells you to “spice it up” a little. Makes for good TV, right? But do these idiots understand that MILLIONS of people watch each episode? Unreal that she (and more specifically, Colton) think they’re living in a bubble.
-Can’t understand why Kim would not take Christina (who also got hotter as time passed) to the final. Doesn’t matter now, but in my eyes Kim was not a smart player in that regard. I seriously thought going in to the reunion show that there could be at least 3 votes for each woman.
-Chelsea gets hotter each week. No booty shorts for her, please…
-Such a letdown there was no major drama in the final questions. This is your LAST CHANCE for drama and you puss out like that? Alicia was the nastiest, but her “question” was more of her being delusional, so it just made her look crazier. Kat could have gone off, but took the high road. You’d think Troyzan may have something up his sleeve, but nope. Jonas, Mike, Tarzan, Jay, Christina, Leif…nothing. Of course Leif had nothing, he had nothing all season. It’s just a little disappointing that the season culminated in that.
-Reunion Show: Another disappointment. Is Jeff Probst unprepared, or dumb? At least he seemed to grill Colton a little. Nothing from Kourtney, or Nina? Not even a check-in on her wrist? And what’s with the guy in the audience saying he thought Colton was playing a character on the show? I thought this was reality TV? Shouldn’t he be playing Colton?
-Lastly, I will be truly disappointed if CBS brings Colton back. Based on how fat he looked, either he wasn’t on the show (which has already wrapped) or he didn’t last long. Let’s hope he fades away and we never see that piece of turd again.
-And as much as I dislike him, I also think Russel was just as bad with his misogynist views on women. If you’re going to be a villain, be an arrogant one (like Richard Hatch). It’s one thing to think you’re better than others, it’s another thing to think others are beneath you because of race/gender/religion/etc…
Enjoy your summer, Scott. Looking forward to next season. Like you, I’ll be the guy hoping for his chance to be on the show…