SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 4/19/12

Another stellar episode here, huh? I keep seeing how my notes are dwindling down to half a page when at the beginning of the season (and last season), I’d have a full page and sometimes writing on the back. Just nothing is happening, and it’s the worst case scenario for us viewers with the girls sticking together just like the tribe stuck together last year and just kept voting predictably, making the show almost pointless to watch. But, as pointless as is it is to watch, at least we can have some fun making a joke of these morons, right?

The show starts off with Troyzan realizing he is S.O.L. (sh*t out of luck, for those of you who don’t know). He realizes that it’s himself versus the rest of the tribe. I think he should have realized he was S.O.L. when he decided to go by the name Troyzan. I’ll relate this to the Original Kings of Comedy (if you haven’t watched it yet, go do it NOW and email me or facebook me about what you thought – I could talk all day about that movie) with Cedric the Entertainer’s bit about “I’m a grown ass man, dog. I ain’t gonna call no other dude Delicious.” Just like how I’m a grown ass man, too, and I wouldn’t be calling no other grown ass man Troyzan (or Tarzan for that matter). You’re name is Troy, don’t think you’re cool adding a –zan at the end. You may get to bang swimsuit models here and there (probably second rate swimsuit models, but still), but that doesn’t mean you can just call yourself something ridiculous.

One thing I did appreciate about Troyzan’s morning rant was when he talked about how the women are acting like they do in real life, with how they got the house, the food, and now they don’t need men anymore. How true. Except, he’s wrong in his assessment, because it’s not that the girls GET the house and food, it’s that they feel they are entitled to it. But, I still think he’s taking things too personally/literally, because they aren’t doing this to him because they’re women, they’re doing this to him because it’s the game of Survivor and he’s the biggest threat and he needs to go home. I always like to vote for the underdog in Survivor (unless I hate their guts like Cochran), so I think Troyzan is becoming my “favorite” right now (only because who else would it be), but I still think the girls are doing the right thing by targeting him and trying to vote him out as soon as they can.

After the commercial break, we learn that they are going to play my favorite competition they do on Survivor. The Survivor Auction. I don’t think they’ve had it the past two seasons and I think it’s ridiculous that they didn’t, so I’m happy to see it’s back. Line of the night definitely went to Kat, “Yo, there’s bacon on there!” Earth to dipsh*t, Jeff told you it was a BLT sandwich…did you not know what a BLT was and just bought the sandwich for the bread and lettuce that you could see?!? And, not to be outdone was Tarzan, telling Jeff that he needs the shocks fixed on his Jeep and he’s been waiting 3 months to do it, and this $500 would do the trick. Seems as if the plastic surgery business isn’t all that lucrative for you there, Tarzan, huh? Maybe now that you’re showing off your Johnson rod in your Speedo, on national television, more girls will come to you to get their breasts done. I’d look for that business to start booming. You’ll have those shocks fixed in no time. Seriously, what do you work out of a mall or something? One surgery would probably earn you thousands of dollars, let alone a measly $500 to fix some shocks.