SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 4/5/12

April 5th, 2012 | 3 Comments | Posted in Survivor 24 - One World

And, yes Kat, we know this is too hard for you! We know you would have trouble even opening the bags to get to the puzzle pieces. I don’t want you to hurt your appendix thinking about it, so just rest easy, ok? Thank you.

Back at camp, Jay realizes that voting out Jonas was completely the wrong thing to do last week when Chelsea asks him how he feels about voting out Mike in front of Alicia and Christina, who are most definitely not in their alliance. I guess Jay didn’t get the memo that nobody on this season is any bit smart and/or playing by Survivor “guidelines,” so talking strategy in front of other alliances is acceptable. Just know that you will be going home soon because you’re an idiot and agreeing to do the things these girls want you to do. And, we all know, that even with this behavior, you’re still going to vote Mike out, even after she told you to your face that you could be next.

Kim tires to smooth things over with Jay by telling him they can vote out Christina. Eh, I can’t even really write about these people’s conversations because they’re just so stupid. Nobody even says anything. Jay just stood there after that. I’m sure he said something and CBS just decided not to show it, but I have to think they didn’t show it because it was the stupidest thing anyone has ever heard a person say. I feel like Jay’s voice is that high-pitched because he has no balls. Some girl probably asked him to cut them off when he was younger and he probably did it because he thought it was a good idea. All these guys proved they have no balls with all the decisions they’ve made and gone along with this season. I feel like less of a man watching these idiots on the show and having them represent the male species. You guys are doing wonders for us, by the way.

I don’t think the girls are doing wonders for themselves, either, but still, at least they’re trying to think. I know it’s hard to use your brain when it hurts to do so, but they’re giving it the old college try, right? I still think it’s too early to make a move like this because there are still too many swing votes out there. You have 7 people in your alliance, they have 4. Why would you go back down to 6-4 when you could make it 7-3? You have to think that the guys will at least be smart enough to see that the girls aren’t afraid of voting off their own alliance members and that they are just sitting ducks waiting to get picked off. So, why wouldn’t they abandon ship and move over to the 4 person alliance left on the other side? Make it an even 6-6 again? I just think it’s a dumb move to make this early in the game. Keep your numbers up, pick off the other 4 person alliance, keep your 7 strong and if you want an all-girls ending, you still have it because within your 7 person alliance, you have 4 girls and 3 guys. There you go, you vote off the 3 guys at the end. I know it probably wouldn’t end that way, but it’s a better option to keep your 7 strong for the time being. At least until, maybe, you get the other alliance down to 1 or 2 people. Just my two cents. Although, in this season, my two cents are worth around $1.50 with these jackasses running around broke as a joke Bill tried to tell.

We head our bored asses over to Tribal Council, where Jeff asks the tribe who thinks they are in danger of going home. Of course none of these idiots think it’s them. At first, I was thinking that maybe some of them did and just didn’t want to admit it, but as they delved further into it, I realized that they really were all that delusional and thought they were all safe. I can understand their reasoning and that they all had their alliances and figured them to be strong, but you still have to imagine someone thought it might be them. But, Kim summed it up best by saying that people are thinking they’re in alliances they really aren’t. Even though she’s wrong about that, it still summed it up best. Mike wasn’t going to go home because he thought he was in an alliance he wasn’t. He was in the alliance, the girls just decided to break up that alliance and vote one of their own out when it wasn’t necessary, Colton style.

Before we get to Mike being voted out, I think I need to ask Kat what a “rantic” is? I know what a “rant” is, but when you add the “ic” at the end, what does it make it? I know I’m not the smartest person in the world and that I didn’t get the best grades in all of my classes, but I still find it hard to believe how some people just aren’t smart whatsoever. Do they just never pay attention in school? Do they have brains that just don’t commute information and store it for future use? I really hope that, one day, someone invents a machine that allows people to actually become someone else for a day, week, year, whatever, but still have their own capabilities on the side, as to make it possible to compare themselves with the other person. I really wish I could probe the minds of other people so I could know how they run. I think I’m going to die unfulfilled on that one, but a man can still dream, right? And, no, I wouldn’t spend a day as Jessica Alba just so I could touch myself whenever I wanted to!! Stop thinking I’m some sick creepbag.

I’d actually spend a good year, maybe sixty switching off between Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johannson, Jennifer Lopez, and maybe even a “large” male porn star just so I can put to rest how exactly it is they take a dump in a toilet where it would have to seem their “member” would reach the bottom of the toilet while sitting down. Hey, don’t judge, no way I’m the only guy who has ever thought about this! In all seriousness, though, these are the things I need to learn about before I die. No way they can take a dump in some public bathrooms where even I can’t sit down without my junk scraping the midget toilet I’m sitting on! As women (which I’m assuming most of my readers are), you wouldn’t understand this, but you’re welcome for the picture!

Anyway, Mike did get voted out and now Jay and Troyzan are left to scramble their brains out.

On a personal note, I’m asking everyone who reads to check back either Friday night or Saturday, during the day, for a special announcement in the comments section. You’ll have to stay tuned.

Until next time,

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog

3 thoughts on “SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 4/5/12

  1. I guess I wasn’t really paying attention through the whole show. Did the other girls vote another way just to throw off the guys or are they not all really together yet? I saw that Jay and Troyzan voted for Mike, so are the other girls just making themselves look smart or are they not really part of the “girls alliance”?

  2. First off, I will say that I completely forgot to make fun of Alicia and Christina for voting Tarzan when everyone else was voting Mike. Those two are idiots.

    Second, my big announcement. Nothing big, had a lot of speculation. Everyone was way off. I’m starting my own Youtube page. Nothing fancy, just something fun and “me.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw4A14D_DPg&feature=youtu.be

  3. Looking forward to tonight, hoping those guys get smart and get Kim out. ddddd….fingers crossed. Youtube page for????

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