SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 4/5/12

So, the show starts off with Troyzan and Jay worrying that they made a mistake by voting Jonas out and giving the girls the power, not only within their alliance (they have 7 in their group, 4 of which are women) but also in the game (it was 6 guys, 6 girls, now obviously 6-5 in favor of girls). You think? In a season that started out as guys vs. girls, you two guys must not be too bright to think you made a mistake by voting out a guy (who you even admitted was an original member of your alliance) and giving the girls numbers inside the game. I’m not sure what it’s going to take for these idiots to ever learn common sense, but I guess that’s why they play the game, right? You never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes, you just have to trust who you are with and hope they back up their end of the deal. If they don’t, it doesn’t automatically make you an idiot, but close to it. At least in Troyzan and Jay’s case it does.

This season has nothing interesting going on, so they have to head on over to the Reward challenge early in the episode to give us something to watch and pique our interest. God knows watching Tarzan scamper around camp in his poop pants speedo isn’t going to do it.

And, screw you, Probst for showing me up yet again by telling the contestants their reward is going to consist of steak, just like I asked in my last blog! I like you, Jeff, but you’re really starting to push my buttons here.

Hold the damn phone, Tarzan DIDN’T get picked to be on a team? Holy shiznit, no way! That may be the shock of the entire season. I thought everyone would want him on their team. I guess I’ve been watching this entire season the wrong way. If that was not enough of a shocker, can you believe that the team that had Kat AND Alicia on it lost?!? Wow. I figured with those two brilliant athletes, they’d skate right through and win this with ease. Something I’ve learned over the years, never bet against an Asian when it comes to intelligence (puzzles). Or, when said Asian person is going up against a Swimsuit Photographer. Easy burgers. They should have just asked them how they wanted their burgers and steaks done before the challenge even started so they could get cooking!

Also, I just want to note that I believe in God and everything, but Sabrina would have needed to hurry up with that damn prayer because I know them f*ckers were hungry!! I would have been like an eight year old, with one eye closed and the other one slightly open, sneaking bites of my food watching to make sure the older folks didn’t notice what I was doing, even though after everyone opened their eyes, my cheeks would be puffed out and I’d have BBQ sauce smothered all over my body because, guess what, I haven’t eaten in 25 f*cking days!! Pray to God after I’m done eating! Oh, and Troyzan, I don’t give a sh*t how hard it is for my system to digest that meat, if my system wanted to overload on me and my stomach wanted to turn into knots, so be it, I would have just sh*t broccoli and potato chips all over your shoes and told you to digest that! Don’t be sour because you lost the challenge for your team because you couldn’t figure out the puzzle in time.