Back at the camp, some of the members of the Salami tribe talk about how they should stick together, since they have the numbers (7 people to 5) and that they should vote Jonas off first. In all honesty, I don’t even remember who was on the Salami tribe and who was on the Menudo tribe. This season has been so confusing because it started off with guys vs. girls, then they switched teams, then two weeks later they merged, so I’m not even sure the people playing know who is on their team/tribe. But, I will agree that if your old tribe has the numbers and the seven of you can agree to stick together, just go for it. Vote off those five morons from Menudo (including Ricky Martin) and end the season going up against each other.
Jonas catches drift of his name being brought up and doesn’t understand why he is viewed as a threat. That would be because the people you are playing against are complete idiots, Jonas. Some of the people don’t want to vote you off because you make a great soup. It’s that fricken hard to make soup now? Am I missing something here? You want to keep someone because they can make soup? Jonas devises a plan to go and apologize to Tarzan, in hopes of clearing the air. Tarzan says he almost cries because of this apology and the “personality it took” for him to do it! Uh, hello Tarzan, he’s apologizing because he doesn’t want to be voted out. He doesn’t really mean it. He still hates your guts and doesn’t ever want to see you after this season, but you go ahead and shed those tears. Why don’t you drown in them while you are at it…
Or, maybe you should snuff yourself with your poop pants. Who calls them “poop pants?” And, why can’t he wash his own underwear? If I had sh*t stains in my underwear, I know for a fact I’d either throw them out, or if I was on Survivor and they were all I had, I’d wash them my damn self! I’d be pretty embarrassed to hand them over to a grown woman and show her I crap my pants at night and then allow myself to sit in it all day long. Although, in his defense, I’m sure taking a dump in the jungle doesn’t allow for much tissue to wipe with. Sometimes, you have to take a mean dump and you get sh*t all over the place and you can’t exactly see all the spots on your ass cheeks, so you’re going to end up with some stains in there somewhere. But, like I said, I’m gonna go wash them myself! I don’t want him to be the Captain of any operating room I’m ever in. I don’t even want him manning the CD player. He’s probably short out the electricity and kill me off because he wanted to hear Culture Club’s greatest hits.
Then, at Tribal, Jonas completely unravels. I think we missed a lot back at camp and he had to have known he was going home. I can’t imagine he was thinking anything but that when he decided to throw out the “plan.” He was telling everyone he was voting Mike out, and before he decided to vote Mike out, they were going to vote for Kat. I think he did this all to show how Tarzan was crazy??? I don’t know, I don’t get what he was doing here. I think he just snapped and lost it. Maybe he made the soup wrong for lunch and he was hallucinating or something. I don’t know.
I think the most disappointing part of Tribal was when I realized I was a lot like Tarzan. At least in one sense. When he mentioned, something along the lines of “I have ideas that can help people and when they don’t take it, it irritates me.” Holy crap, that is like my main gripe in life. I truly feel like I have something I can offer to people, but nobody these days listens to anything anyone else says. I can clearly state the obvious to someone, they will agree with me to my face, but then still turn around and go do what was against what we said. I just feel like I really can help people with things in life, but nobody chooses to let me. It irritates the living sh*t out of me, but what can I do, right? All I can do is offer the help and then it’s up to everyone else to take it. I could go on for days about this, but I think hearing Tarzan say that just turned a knob in my brain and made me realize that people might think I’m a lunatic like Tarzan when I talk! God help me. Or should I say Tiki help me.
Anyway, Jonas was voted out with “hard feelings to you” from Tarzan. Peace out, Soup Nazi.
Until next time – pray for a shark attack,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
Your blog cracks me up – it’s right on target! I think they should have voted out Tarzan. Even though he’s weak in challenges, he’s got a big mouth and he can’t play the social game to save his life – and by that I mean that he can’t keep his big mouth shut! Anyway, I wouldn’t want his sh*tty drawers near me! Right now I’m thinking Troyzan is the smartest one of the group and that’s pretty sad…..
Thank you Scott! You are hilarious!
I would think if Tarzan were really a surgeon, he could have held his arm still for longer than that. I certainly would not want him operating on me (for more than the previously mentioned reason). I hope these people do not “take him to the end” just to have someone annoying there.
I was thinking the same thing. I would totally be Tarzan, “ugh, I can’t stand these people” . I would never make it. Alicia is the worst, Christina seriously needs rewarded for not kicking her in the face. I’m rooting for Jay, just because he was so confused when the guys gave up immunity.