From the random draw, we already knew any team Colton was on was going to suck, but on paper, his team (the new Menudo tribe) may be the worst in Survivor history. Colton, Leif, Alicia, Tarzan, Jonas, Christina, and Monica should just go sit down on the stumps at Tribal Village and just keep voting people out. Or…maybe not. They actually came pretty close to winning the reward challenge, but fell just a few drops short. Had Monica not fallen over forty-three times, they probably would have won. But, yes, she’s the strong one on that tribe. You go ahead and keep thinking that, Menudo. The b*tch can’t even stand on her own feet and walk backwards, but you’ll win all sorts of competitions with her on your side.
Along with the reward, which is PB&J sandwiches and coffee, the Salami tribe gets to keep the beach they are already staying at and the Menudo tribe has to go build a new camp on another beach. I didn’t think the Survivor producers would give up so quickly on the one world, one beach theme. Geez, that didn’t last long at all. I don’t know what they were expecting or hoping for, but they definitely didn’t get it. Perhaps, if they didn’t cast idiots, they might get more drama and action to film, rather than spend half an episode letting Colton breathe fire into the camera.
Oh and guess what, Colton hates his new tribe. Shocker, huh?!? He thinks everyone sucks. Newsflash dipsh*t, YOU SUCK!! And, not just at this game and every other game you’ve probably ever played in your life. But, you suck at life, in general. I don’t think there is anybody he could have been paired up with that he would have liked. And, in another shocker, he decides to tell the three girls that he is going to join forces with them and make a four person alliance.
We head over to Salami real fast, where these idiots make it almost impossible for me to even comment on whatever it is they are doing. I guess Kim likes that the tribes got switched because she wants to stick with the girls, even though she’s on a tribe with guys now and wants to maybe work Jay and Troyzan, but not “the guy in the ocean,” Michael. I don’t know, all I took from this 90 second segment of the show is that I really do hate this season. I don’t think there is one likeable person. I’m not saying that in terms of personality or anything, because I’m sure some of these people are great people and I might actually be friends with some of them, but just in the sense for the show. Hell, maybe Colton is right, these people do suck. Not more than he does, but still, he may be onto something there.
We head back over to Menudo since CBS can’t cut away from Colton for too long, because really and truly nothing else is going on anywhere. He tells Alicia they need to vote Christina out first and Alicia is adamant that he’s a fool to think she’d do something like that. But, hey, talk to me in 20 minutes about voting Monica out first and THEN voting out Christina and I’ll probably be cool with it.
I liked the scene with Jonas talking to the camera about how everyone is working on building the camp and Colton is just talking to Alicia, and then he says, “How does he get away with it?” Here’s an idea, DON’T LET HIM!!! Tell his lazy ass to go cut a branch down, use his a-hole to “muddy” up the end, and stick it on top of another branch to get some cover from the rain. If you think I’m like Tarzan with some of the stuff I say, that last statement pretty much meant to tell Colton to go shove a tree branch up his ass.
Oh, and he also called Colton brilliant. As if we needed any other confirmation that these people are stupid.
Wow, really, letting Colton run the show, literally! I can honestly say if I was on survivor, I would be asked to leave the show because I would b*tch slap Colton’s @ss into the next ocean! I really hope his “act” is not how he is in real life.
Scott, I feel like I’m missing something…from your last paragraph I don’t know what you mean…maybe your referring to some spoilers for the next episode (I don’t look for them so I have no idea).
Not that I want to impose a political discussion because I think most people come here for the funny sarcastic commentary, and not a political debate, but I am struck by how what Colton is getting away with doing/being is quite reflective of how Republicans seem to as well, even though it all seems highly illogical and hypocritical….alls I’ll say is don’t do it America, don’t vote a republican (at least the ones that are in the running now) as your next president….all of us outside of America are watching…don’t do it! Don’t get me started on what they want to do to the already crumbling education system… Okay, I’ll stop.
On another note, I am obsessed with watching for Jeff’s blue shirts, and I’m convinced he’s totally doing on purpose now (so maybe he reads your blog!) because he’s worn the exact SAME blue shirt to every tribal council. Watch, now y’all will be obsessed too….I’m not on twitter, so maybe I’ll try emailing him or something to help you out! If you video tape the interview, you must demand he wears a blue shirt.
Oh, and when Alicia said they handed her tribe a million $, I think she just meant someone on her tribe – b/c it the guys were that dumb to sacrifice #’s then It would allow the girls to dominate and one of them for sure would win. Of course, that was before the shake up, which is probably why they showed that comment ‘famous last words’ and all…
What I don’t understand is how people like Michael let Colton order him around. When he said “Go get Lief.” a couple of episodes back, Michael just got up and left while Colton was reclining in the shade as if he were royalty. I would have said, “Go get him yourself, I am not your lackey.” The fact that he did it without comment makes me think that some of the men had a strategy to just go along with Colton and we were not aware of it. Afterall, this isn’t Big Brother. We don’t get to hear all the conversations, and the show is clearly heavily edited.
I love that Colton is on a tribe that he thinks “sucks”, because he clearly sucks the most. How stupid of them to send Monica home, and now Cristina knows she is next because she was just as confused as Monica.
Does the accident that happens on this week’s episode cause the show to end?