The stupidity keeps on rolling after the guys offer the girls a deal where they will use the fishing gear to catch fish and provide the women with half of the food they catch. Sure, not a bad deal, but if I’m the girls and I feel like we’re eating just fine, I’m not taking it either. I am actually on the girls side this time for not taking that deal. Sure, it would be nice to catch a fish or two here and there to eat, but f*ck the guys, I’d rather not help them find food and also make it seem like we’re desperate enough to take that deal from them. The girls proved last week that they can go spear fishing and catch fish, so I’m pretty sure they’ll eventually catch some with a damn net. But, back to the stupidity, that came in the form of a comment from Chelsea when she dropped this gem on us, “It’s not funny, but it’s hilarious…” I think someone needs to tell Chelsea that hilarious is a synonym for funny and that funny means something is comical and you want to laugh at it. I don’t consider myself to be the smartest person around, but the more I watch these reality television shows, I am starting to wonder what these kids were taught in school, growing up. I am still dumbfounded that people don’t know when the Civil War was. I can understand if they’re a few years off and whatever, but I’ve seriously heard answers from people like 1600, 1930, 1750, and I just sit there and think to myself that we learned about the Civil War in probably every class we took in every single grade I went through. It wasn’t like it was just in American History back in 3rd grade or something, no, I learned about it in elementary school, junior high, high school, and even in college. It is ingrained in my brain that it went from 1861 to 1865. Learn it. Remember it. And, if you don’t remember it, don’t guess something stupid like 1600.
We head on over to the Reward challenge where the only thing worth talking about is the fact that even Tarzan doesn’t know these fools’ names. He kept calling Jonas, Jason. So, Jonas will now be known as Jason. No reason to bother calling him by his real name, right? I’m not even sure these people deserve to be known by their names with the pathetic showing they’re giving us.
Also, the challenge proved that the men can’t even win at a “manly” type challenge. I would say that I will eat my words from my last blog about how the challenges are unfair and designed more to help the women win. This challenge seemed to be something the guys would be better at. I know it was only pulling a rope back and flinging a coconut, but you see something like that and you think men. So, I will go ahead and eat those words and move on from this. I am liking to say that I am growing as a person through this season of Survivor. So far, I’ve learned that men can be just as delusional and ridiculous as women can be. I’m wanting to say that it has to be that these guys are just the perfect storm of personalities to put together to get that reaction, but enough conspiracy theories. Even though the guys are being led around by an emotional, gay “man,” I’m still not going to use that as an excuse. They have every right to go against his word and thought, so I will learn from this that maybe guys don’t have any room to talk about how crazy women are and how we are the rational sex.
Colton goes off on one of his diatribe’s again, calling Leif a “munchkin” and saying he needs to be “kicked back to Oz.” I wonder how he would feel if people were calling him the “f” word and saying they need to break a twig off the tree and shove it up his ass to make him feel more at home?!? Look, I’m not against the funny, off-the-wall, kinda-hurtful type statements. I make them. The difference, though, is I don’t have that conviction in my tone and that serious look on my face when doing so. He’s not trying to be funny when he says this. He just has a major chip on his shoulder and needs to slander other people to make himself feel better about himself. I get it, everyone does it, but some of these things are uncalled for.
And, why does Leif approach Colton like he’s the Godfather, all skittish and scared? And, why the hell would you not just say I was talking to Bill about life in general. I never understand why people don’t use that excuse on this show more often. Leif could have told Colton that he and Bill were talking about life and their upbringing and where they came from and how they got to where they are now. Why does every conversation on this island need to be about strategy? I know that they mostly are, but why admit to something that’s going to cause others to take up issue with you? Huh, Leif? Can you answer me that? Of course, after what happened later in the episode, we all got our answer and that is that these guys are just all THAT stupid!
Ok, enough about the guys for a second. Let’s delve into what is wrong with the female sex. As a whole. It’s all your hearing. I am in belief that females hear things completely differently than men do. It has to be the case. Because, here we get Kat saying to Alicia that she didn’t want to be paired with someone who wasn’t good at puzzles because she, herself, sucks at puzzles. Alicia flies off the handle. She thinks she heard Kat say “I don’t wanna be with you. You can’t do puzzles.” And, of course she gave us the attitude behind the words, which Kat gave none of. I just feel like women have 20 little ear elves inside their ears playing Telephone. You know the game where one person says a sentence to another person, then that person says it to the person next to them, then so on and so on, and no matter how many people you play the game with, the sentence ends up being something completely different at the end than it was in the beginning. I think scientists should look into this. I think I may be onto something. And, seriously, they waste enough money doing the world’s stupidest experiments, so why not try and prove this?
Anyway, we need to hurry through the rest of this so we can get to the meat portion of the episode. The guys absolutely dominate the women in the Immunity challenge. The girls couldn’t even cheat off of the guys and catch up. And, I won’t go there by making fun of how the guys threw Leif around like a play toy after they won and he stood up on the wooden pedestal. I won’t. I can’t. At least not after I just got on Colton for doing something similar. Maybe next week when everyone forgets I said that, I will do it!
What blows me away is that CBS would let them pass off their whole tribe idol and go to tribal council and not show the players last week the last two votes or us the viewers! What point is in that? Why aren’t these people looking for the hidden immunity idol? Even if they have to give it away, make a friend on the other tribe?!
You’ve been watching the show, right? They aren’t looking for the idol because they are IDIOTS!! 🙂 Plain and simple, that’s why. Hell, Leif and Bill were talking about on the beach, yet probably just stayed there and never even bothered to look for it.
Like I said in the blog, I really feel like I’m being played for a fool here. Maybe we all are, but I just really don’t get what is going on with Survivor anymore. It’s sad because it really did used to be my favorite reality TV show.
The best thing about this episode being horrific was getting the opportunity to read your recap on it. Their idea of a “villain” this season is a racist, spoiled, judgmental brat. Previous players that annoyed me such as Cochran, Phillip, Jonny Fairplay, etc., all look like heavenly saints compared to this arrogant pos. I will not be watching this season anymore, and according to many other discussion boards on this matter, many people also feel the same. So hopefully this drops the number of viewers significantly and Survivor realizes that they are taking their show in the wrong direction. Also, have you seen the Facebook page for Colton?
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Colton-Cumbie/122150541239307
It’s ridiculous that people are victimizing him, and commending him on his great game. I can’t believe we have to live in a world with people like this guy. I wish you luck with watching the rest of this disgusting season though! I will continue to read your recaps, but only because it’s humorous watching you get frustrated with the contestants :D.
Watching Colton on my television almost makes me physically sick. I am the most laid back, non-politically correct person ever and I am completely appauled and offended by his actions and the way he spoke to Bill. Theres just no way I can stomach another episode with him in it, so i’ll stop watching and start back up once I know he’s gone. Over the years there has been Brandon, Phillip etc, who were unwatchable and annoying but atleast they brought some entertainment, you could laugh at the ridiculousness. But Colton is just a flat out vile human being.
Even though it was an insanely dumb move – I found it to be incredible to watch on TV. Like this isn’t really happening is it? Like a trainwreck, I couldn’t even keep my eyes off of it.
And I thought that the tribe was focusing on Leif to be voted out in order to get Bill to agree to go to tribal and get voted out.
Either way, I thought this was a pretty memorable episode!
I’m not saying it wasn’t “good TV,” I’m just speaking in terms of the game. I know they continue doing this show because people will watch and because they keep trying to reinvent the game and how it’s played. But, I think, ever since Russell became such a popular contestant for his ridiculous and rude behavior, they assumed that is what everyone wanted to see each year. So, I purposely think they cast losers like Colton in hopes that they can egg him to act the way he is, not caring the type of backlash he’s going to get in his real life. It’s a shame. I’m sure Colton is that type of person, but part of me wants to believe the producers of the show are trying to get him to act out a bit more than he normally would.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just giving Colton too much credit here. I’m not saying he’s not vile and disgusting because he is, but I know he has help in being that way.
As for the tribe lying to Bill about Leif, I was assuming that was what they are doing, but I don’t remember hearing anyone say that. They made it seem like they really were pissed at Leif and that Tarzan really did want him out. Whatever, what’s done is done and I hate that I have to continue watching one of these morons win $1 million. But, I’m glad you get to enjoy me being punished in the form of me writing this blog.
I’m so glad you mentioned the utter hypocrisy of Colton calling Leif a “munchkin.” I was literally yelling at the screen at him about exactly what you said. He would be up in arms threatening lawsuits and getting GLAAD involved if someone called him an “f.” At this point I hope that somehow the girls can get all of the idiot guys voted off so we are left with just them. At least watching them be catty and backstabbing might be slightly more interesting than what we are having to watch now.
Colton could seriously be the least likeable character to ever play the game. He gives gays across this nation a bad name. He couldn’t play to any more gay stereotypes if he took a U.S. poll of them. I literally want to jump through the TV and slap him every time he crosses his legs, whips his head around, and rolls his eyes (which is preposterously frequent). If he wins the million dollars I may have to make an emo YouTube video declaring the death of hope for this world.
So love your blog Scott. I have been a RS fan for years and loved when he started having other people blog about different reality shows. Survivor has been my favorite show for years but like you said what the hell has happend to this show. They need to go back to the original form. Idk. So I had to create an acct to just comment on this past show. I watched it and couldn’t help from not busting out laughing at how stupid these guys are to have someone control them so much. He has seriously brained washed them. Colton is obviously a great player I will give him that, but the horrible things that come out of his mouth I can’t believe. My goodness. Well keep writing I love reading your blogs every week. Sorry of this comment is scrambled that’s why I never comment on things
I am horrified that I even had a small amount of sympathy for Colton in the first episode. My mouth was gaping open as I watched the tribal council last night (I tivo). Seriously? Since when is it a good idea to vote someone out because you think they need to “get a real job.” How does his job have anything to do with how he will perform on Survivor? Colton is not playing the smartest game in Survivor history, but rather the most narrow-minded-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot game! If they are going to vote someone out because of things like what he does for a living, who’s to say that next week they won’t vote Colton out because his family can afford to have hired help? I’m most sad that those other twits are following him along like lemmings off a cliff. Hopefully, the twist next week is that they merge sooner rather than later. Then maybe since the men were dumb enough to go to tribal council and make the tribes equal, we’ll get to see them scramble. Doubt it, but it would shake up a game that has become predictable.
By the way, love your recaps. They are the sole reason I started to watch Survivor again a few seasons ago. If I had a Twitter account that I actually logged into and used, I would follow you, but I haven’t succumbed yet. Maybe after a few more recaps I won’t be able to resist the Scott Ottersen charm.
Haha, “the Scott Ottersen charm.” Too funny. I can tell you that there is no charm going on over Twitter. I barely use it, either. I basically just respond to anyone who tweets at me and that’s about it. I gave up on posting tweets once I realized nobody even really reads their Twitter feeds! I think people just have it to have it…
As for Colton playing the smartest game, I will punch anybody in the face who says that out loud. I’m dead damn serious, too. That guy is an idiot and the only reason he’s doing “well” is because look at who his competition is?!? Do you see any other smart or strategic players on his tribe? How well do you think Colton would be doing if Boston Rob or Russell, or hell even Coach were on his tribe? That’s right, he wouldn’t be doing shit but staring at the bulges in the guys pants…
First I have to say I love your commentary on the show….you have great wit and are snarky without being too mean.
Second I have to say Colton is probably the most revolting person I have ever seen on reality tv, and I watch a shitload of reality tv. He is a disgrace to the gay community, IMHO. I haven’t liked him since the first episode. To immediately dislike all the guys on the show because they were so macho makes it look like all gay guys can’t be manly. One of my good friends is gay, and if you looked at his group of friends, he has a good amount of guy friends who are hetrosexual and aren’t ashamed to be friends with a gay man. They aren’t afraid that he is going to hit on them, he’s just another guy to them and hell that means its just one less guy in the competition for the girls they are looking at…lol.
With that said, I really wish that the guys would have flipped after that talk at TC and voted for Colton. That would have made it a smart move rather than the dumbest moves in Survivor history. For him to speak like that about Bill disgusted me. And his little smirks with every comment made me want to throw stuff at the tv. The reunion show should be interesting this year, if they let Probst go there and play back all of the comments he has said so far. I don’t know why these guys are drinking Colton’s koolaid, but I hope that they smarten up soon and get him the fuck out of there! I will be revolted if he makes it to the end. A racist asshole doesn’t deserve to win this!
I wish he would have been on the show 2 seasons ago with Boston Rob and Russell; if only because the 2 of them would have chewed him up and spit him up.
Jeez, sorry for the novel…lol
As a fan of Survivor since Richard Hatch’s naked a$$ roamed the beach, I was seriously disappointed with this episode. I’ve already commented on other forums about how disgusting Colton is – I think most people agree on that – but the sheer stupidity of the other men is what’s most shocking. Having blown out the girls in the Immunity Challenge, you’d think you’d secure your numbers and move on. Let the girls run around in a panic. But then Leif’s blunder, and Colton’s bullying, and Bill’s bullying, and then Colton’s ridiculous suggestion, and then hearing that they’d have to be unanimous in agreeing to go to Tribal made the guys’ decision even more ludicrous.
To cut someone from your tribe, someone who COULD help you win a challenge or two down the road, makes it a stupid decision. And the fact that Colton is more concerned about one inconsequential tribemate rather than THE REST OF THE SEASON is what makes him the biggest idiot. I’m surprised Bill didn’t punch him at Tribal for the things he said. Sure, he’d have been kicked off the show (that’s one rule, evidently, that you can’t get physical with another contestant outside of challenges) since he may have guessed he was going anyways. But at least be a man when someone says that s**t. As Kenny Rogers once said, “…sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man…”
What confuses me the most is that Jay and Mike went along with it (and Tarzan, and Jonas, and Troyzan too, for that matter). I guess they feel like they have to agree to everything that freak suggests, else they’re next to go, but here’s the catch…YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT! Have they seen the show before…?
It looks like there could be a major tribe shakeup next episode, so any alliance you have today may not exist tomorrow. With enough seasons behind us to know that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, it’s just disappointing to see (once again) people who don’t know how to play the game get cast.
I’ve said it before, put people on the show who are players and let them fight it out. These spineless, bigoted, non-thinking-ahead, morons are ruining the show. I’m starting to pull for the girls now, and not just because they have tits…
SMH….It has to be someone every season. Who would have thought a flaming gay bigot. HMMMM?????? For real? For TV????
Well, no offense to the ‘normal’ republicans out there, but as soon as Colton said he was a republican I went ‘uh oh’. Explains a lot.
Don’t worry Scott, there’s hope this week – Community comes back! Yay!
Haha, I find it funny that when people say they are Republican, it tells a lot about them, but it’s not the same for Democrats. You ever notice that?
And, that’s a joke because I give my Republican friends a lot of shit about that…oh wait, I don’t really have any Republican friends! 🙂
No, but in all seriousness, I’m neither. I am allergic to politics and wish we could get rid of all the politicians in Washington and come up with a better system, which I know is improbable. Although, just about anything might be better than what we got now…
With the shakeup of tribes this week, however it pans out, the guys that end up on Colton’s tribe would be smart to fill in the women on what happened at TC and form a new alliance. Get his ass out of there if they lose, and then go from there! Show some smarts dammit!
Hey Scott,
Blog was funny! Just an fyi… Colton had an infection. He did an interview, and filled us in. He also said why he didn’t give the idol out. not sure if I believe him though. I read the interview on reality tv mag 🙂
Keep up the great blogs!!