F*ck me.
I’m going to do my absolute best here to write this blog in sequential order, but just know that it’s taking every bit of me to not jump to the end and just tear into these dipdicks. I can’t believe I tried to stick up for these douchettes last week with saying the challenges weren’t equal and whatnot. I kind of just wish Probst would tell us they are cancelling this season. Let me just see what I can do here with the first half of the episode.
The first note I wrote was “I don’t even know these a-hole’s names.” I think that should have been the title of this episode. It kind of played into it a little later with a situation on the Menudo tribe as it is, but sh*t, I swear you could show me a picture of these contestants and I’d probably get 3 of them. I mean, I don’t even know their names, it’s not just I don’t know the face that goes with the name, I don’t even know the actual, written-on-the-birth-certificate names. That’s how crummy this season has been and just how terrible these contestants are. I wonder if they fire the casting directors after season’s like this. I would venture to say no since last season to this season didn’t change all that much. But, hey, I guess they are doing their job, because all they really care about is if people watch the show and talk about the contestants. Like they always say in Hollywood, any publicity is good publicity. Yep, that’s the world we live in. People get famous for f*cking their boyfriend on camera while I probably couldn’t ever talk my wife into doing that and even if I did, I sure as hell ain’t getting famous off of it…
I think my favorite part of the opening sequence was Tarzan staking claim to the Idiot of the Century award. It still amazes me that this guy is a doctor. Really, Tarzan, Bill is dangerous?!? How is that? I’m not so sure he’s even done anything noteworthy enough to get screen time, let alone something that is going to make everyone want to give him $1 million. The guy apparently runs around the camp calling everyone “bro,” I don’t think anyone sees him as a threat. If they did, they would have grouped him in with the “Muscle” crowd and talked about voting him off last week.
What blows me away is that CBS would let them pass off their whole tribe idol and go to tribal council and not show the players last week the last two votes or us the viewers! What point is in that? Why aren’t these people looking for the hidden immunity idol? Even if they have to give it away, make a friend on the other tribe?!
You’ve been watching the show, right? They aren’t looking for the idol because they are IDIOTS!! 🙂 Plain and simple, that’s why. Hell, Leif and Bill were talking about on the beach, yet probably just stayed there and never even bothered to look for it.
Like I said in the blog, I really feel like I’m being played for a fool here. Maybe we all are, but I just really don’t get what is going on with Survivor anymore. It’s sad because it really did used to be my favorite reality TV show.
The best thing about this episode being horrific was getting the opportunity to read your recap on it. Their idea of a “villain” this season is a racist, spoiled, judgmental brat. Previous players that annoyed me such as Cochran, Phillip, Jonny Fairplay, etc., all look like heavenly saints compared to this arrogant pos. I will not be watching this season anymore, and according to many other discussion boards on this matter, many people also feel the same. So hopefully this drops the number of viewers significantly and Survivor realizes that they are taking their show in the wrong direction. Also, have you seen the Facebook page for Colton?
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Colton-Cumbie/122150541239307
It’s ridiculous that people are victimizing him, and commending him on his great game. I can’t believe we have to live in a world with people like this guy. I wish you luck with watching the rest of this disgusting season though! I will continue to read your recaps, but only because it’s humorous watching you get frustrated with the contestants :D.
Watching Colton on my television almost makes me physically sick. I am the most laid back, non-politically correct person ever and I am completely appauled and offended by his actions and the way he spoke to Bill. Theres just no way I can stomach another episode with him in it, so i’ll stop watching and start back up once I know he’s gone. Over the years there has been Brandon, Phillip etc, who were unwatchable and annoying but atleast they brought some entertainment, you could laugh at the ridiculousness. But Colton is just a flat out vile human being.
Even though it was an insanely dumb move – I found it to be incredible to watch on TV. Like this isn’t really happening is it? Like a trainwreck, I couldn’t even keep my eyes off of it.
And I thought that the tribe was focusing on Leif to be voted out in order to get Bill to agree to go to tribal and get voted out.
Either way, I thought this was a pretty memorable episode!
I’m not saying it wasn’t “good TV,” I’m just speaking in terms of the game. I know they continue doing this show because people will watch and because they keep trying to reinvent the game and how it’s played. But, I think, ever since Russell became such a popular contestant for his ridiculous and rude behavior, they assumed that is what everyone wanted to see each year. So, I purposely think they cast losers like Colton in hopes that they can egg him to act the way he is, not caring the type of backlash he’s going to get in his real life. It’s a shame. I’m sure Colton is that type of person, but part of me wants to believe the producers of the show are trying to get him to act out a bit more than he normally would.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just giving Colton too much credit here. I’m not saying he’s not vile and disgusting because he is, but I know he has help in being that way.
As for the tribe lying to Bill about Leif, I was assuming that was what they are doing, but I don’t remember hearing anyone say that. They made it seem like they really were pissed at Leif and that Tarzan really did want him out. Whatever, what’s done is done and I hate that I have to continue watching one of these morons win $1 million. But, I’m glad you get to enjoy me being punished in the form of me writing this blog.
I’m so glad you mentioned the utter hypocrisy of Colton calling Leif a “munchkin.” I was literally yelling at the screen at him about exactly what you said. He would be up in arms threatening lawsuits and getting GLAAD involved if someone called him an “f.” At this point I hope that somehow the girls can get all of the idiot guys voted off so we are left with just them. At least watching them be catty and backstabbing might be slightly more interesting than what we are having to watch now.
Colton could seriously be the least likeable character to ever play the game. He gives gays across this nation a bad name. He couldn’t play to any more gay stereotypes if he took a U.S. poll of them. I literally want to jump through the TV and slap him every time he crosses his legs, whips his head around, and rolls his eyes (which is preposterously frequent). If he wins the million dollars I may have to make an emo YouTube video declaring the death of hope for this world.
So love your blog Scott. I have been a RS fan for years and loved when he started having other people blog about different reality shows. Survivor has been my favorite show for years but like you said what the hell has happend to this show. They need to go back to the original form. Idk. So I had to create an acct to just comment on this past show. I watched it and couldn’t help from not busting out laughing at how stupid these guys are to have someone control them so much. He has seriously brained washed them. Colton is obviously a great player I will give him that, but the horrible things that come out of his mouth I can’t believe. My goodness. Well keep writing I love reading your blogs every week. Sorry of this comment is scrambled that’s why I never comment on things
I am horrified that I even had a small amount of sympathy for Colton in the first episode. My mouth was gaping open as I watched the tribal council last night (I tivo). Seriously? Since when is it a good idea to vote someone out because you think they need to “get a real job.” How does his job have anything to do with how he will perform on Survivor? Colton is not playing the smartest game in Survivor history, but rather the most narrow-minded-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot game! If they are going to vote someone out because of things like what he does for a living, who’s to say that next week they won’t vote Colton out because his family can afford to have hired help? I’m most sad that those other twits are following him along like lemmings off a cliff. Hopefully, the twist next week is that they merge sooner rather than later. Then maybe since the men were dumb enough to go to tribal council and make the tribes equal, we’ll get to see them scramble. Doubt it, but it would shake up a game that has become predictable.
By the way, love your recaps. They are the sole reason I started to watch Survivor again a few seasons ago. If I had a Twitter account that I actually logged into and used, I would follow you, but I haven’t succumbed yet. Maybe after a few more recaps I won’t be able to resist the Scott Ottersen charm.
Haha, “the Scott Ottersen charm.” Too funny. I can tell you that there is no charm going on over Twitter. I barely use it, either. I basically just respond to anyone who tweets at me and that’s about it. I gave up on posting tweets once I realized nobody even really reads their Twitter feeds! I think people just have it to have it…
As for Colton playing the smartest game, I will punch anybody in the face who says that out loud. I’m dead damn serious, too. That guy is an idiot and the only reason he’s doing “well” is because look at who his competition is?!? Do you see any other smart or strategic players on his tribe? How well do you think Colton would be doing if Boston Rob or Russell, or hell even Coach were on his tribe? That’s right, he wouldn’t be doing shit but staring at the bulges in the guys pants…
First I have to say I love your commentary on the show….you have great wit and are snarky without being too mean.
Second I have to say Colton is probably the most revolting person I have ever seen on reality tv, and I watch a shitload of reality tv. He is a disgrace to the gay community, IMHO. I haven’t liked him since the first episode. To immediately dislike all the guys on the show because they were so macho makes it look like all gay guys can’t be manly. One of my good friends is gay, and if you looked at his group of friends, he has a good amount of guy friends who are hetrosexual and aren’t ashamed to be friends with a gay man. They aren’t afraid that he is going to hit on them, he’s just another guy to them and hell that means its just one less guy in the competition for the girls they are looking at…lol.
With that said, I really wish that the guys would have flipped after that talk at TC and voted for Colton. That would have made it a smart move rather than the dumbest moves in Survivor history. For him to speak like that about Bill disgusted me. And his little smirks with every comment made me want to throw stuff at the tv. The reunion show should be interesting this year, if they let Probst go there and play back all of the comments he has said so far. I don’t know why these guys are drinking Colton’s koolaid, but I hope that they smarten up soon and get him the fuck out of there! I will be revolted if he makes it to the end. A racist asshole doesn’t deserve to win this!
I wish he would have been on the show 2 seasons ago with Boston Rob and Russell; if only because the 2 of them would have chewed him up and spit him up.
Jeez, sorry for the novel…lol
As a fan of Survivor since Richard Hatch’s naked a$$ roamed the beach, I was seriously disappointed with this episode. I’ve already commented on other forums about how disgusting Colton is – I think most people agree on that – but the sheer stupidity of the other men is what’s most shocking. Having blown out the girls in the Immunity Challenge, you’d think you’d secure your numbers and move on. Let the girls run around in a panic. But then Leif’s blunder, and Colton’s bullying, and Bill’s bullying, and then Colton’s ridiculous suggestion, and then hearing that they’d have to be unanimous in agreeing to go to Tribal made the guys’ decision even more ludicrous.
To cut someone from your tribe, someone who COULD help you win a challenge or two down the road, makes it a stupid decision. And the fact that Colton is more concerned about one inconsequential tribemate rather than THE REST OF THE SEASON is what makes him the biggest idiot. I’m surprised Bill didn’t punch him at Tribal for the things he said. Sure, he’d have been kicked off the show (that’s one rule, evidently, that you can’t get physical with another contestant outside of challenges) since he may have guessed he was going anyways. But at least be a man when someone says that s**t. As Kenny Rogers once said, “…sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man…”
What confuses me the most is that Jay and Mike went along with it (and Tarzan, and Jonas, and Troyzan too, for that matter). I guess they feel like they have to agree to everything that freak suggests, else they’re next to go, but here’s the catch…YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT! Have they seen the show before…?
It looks like there could be a major tribe shakeup next episode, so any alliance you have today may not exist tomorrow. With enough seasons behind us to know that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, it’s just disappointing to see (once again) people who don’t know how to play the game get cast.
I’ve said it before, put people on the show who are players and let them fight it out. These spineless, bigoted, non-thinking-ahead, morons are ruining the show. I’m starting to pull for the girls now, and not just because they have tits…
SMH….It has to be someone every season. Who would have thought a flaming gay bigot. HMMMM?????? For real? For TV????
Well, no offense to the ‘normal’ republicans out there, but as soon as Colton said he was a republican I went ‘uh oh’. Explains a lot.
Don’t worry Scott, there’s hope this week – Community comes back! Yay!
Haha, I find it funny that when people say they are Republican, it tells a lot about them, but it’s not the same for Democrats. You ever notice that?
And, that’s a joke because I give my Republican friends a lot of shit about that…oh wait, I don’t really have any Republican friends! 🙂
No, but in all seriousness, I’m neither. I am allergic to politics and wish we could get rid of all the politicians in Washington and come up with a better system, which I know is improbable. Although, just about anything might be better than what we got now…
With the shakeup of tribes this week, however it pans out, the guys that end up on Colton’s tribe would be smart to fill in the women on what happened at TC and form a new alliance. Get his ass out of there if they lose, and then go from there! Show some smarts dammit!
Hey Scott,
Blog was funny! Just an fyi… Colton had an infection. He did an interview, and filled us in. He also said why he didn’t give the idol out. not sure if I believe him though. I read the interview on reality tv mag 🙂
Keep up the great blogs!!