SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 3/1/12

Over at the Reward Challenge, the women finally proved that they could win at something. And, they did it very convincingly. The guys didn’t even pull out one victory in head-to-head battle with the women. I think I’d like to start seeing CBS stop being so sissy with their competitions. I want to see more physical competitions. All these “jump off a platform and walk across a beam and solve a puzzle” type competitions are just as biased as would be a physical one. If women want “woman power” to be showcased and that they can beat the men at anything, I’m sure they’d want to prove they can push a heavy boulder on an obstacle course, or climb walls, or carry rocks around, whatever. I think that “wussing down” the competitions are almost as unfair to the guys as it is fair to the women. I’ve always said that if things need to be changed around in order to better suit one “team,” than there is an issue in fairness as it is and maybe the “teams” should be better divided then. This is an issue I think I just realized I have with the men vs. women aspect of the game. It’s a scientific fact that women have better memories than men do (on average), so why is it any more fair to have a competition like that then a more physical one where the men can use their strength to dominate the women? Is CBS worried that the National Organization for Women are going to end up crying foul if they make the guys and girls wrestle in mud?!?

Anyway, the girls won, and Jonah the sushi chef was pissed that the guys couldn’t go catch fish for him to cook. I will say, though, that if I’m the guys or girls, I’m not too worried about one team winning a reward like that. That fishing gear is going back to the same camp and the canoe is staying on the same beach, so if the two tribes have already proven that they are willing to steal from each other, why would it be any different now? What are the women going to do if five of the guys walk over to their side of the camp, pick up the fishing gear, sit down in the canoe and start paddling out into the ocean?!? Are they going to call back The Ugly One to arrest them for theft? This is Survivor, you can do whatever you want. This is also something I have long wondered about with the Immunity Idol. Why don’t people steal it from other people that they know have it?!? Again, what are they so worried about if they steal it from the person and then vote their asses out? What is that person going to do? If your slick enough, you will steal it and they won’t even know who stole it, so they won’t even be able to be pissed at anyone…and again, what’s the worst they are going to do if they do know it’s you, leave a nasty message to your during their exit interview that they show for 8 seconds at the end of the episode? I think I’ll live if Joker A from some reality show has a beef with me because I ruined his chances at winning a game I was also trying to win.

Ok, at this pace, you will be reading for quite some time. Buckle up. We had back to the Salami camp where the girls are desperate for fire, so they decide to go ask for ANOTHER ember for the fire that they just can’t seem to keep from going out. Now, in the back of my head, if I’m the guys, I’m asking for the right to use the fishing gear or for some other type of service from the girls in exchange for these freebies they keep asking for. The guys do ask for that exchange, but before the girls can even say that they’ll talk to the rest of their tribe, some of the guys are already telling them to go ahead and take the fire, and then start talking as if they hope the girls give them something in return. Now, it’s time to rip on these idiot guys. Do we not understand the simplicity of negotiation? You don’t offer the terms and then hand over your end of the deal before the other side even agrees to anything. You tell them, you know what, go talk it over with your girls, come back and tell us we can use the fishing gear every other day, and we’ll let you have fire, but only this one time. If your fire goes out, the terms of the deal will change. This isn’t Wal-Mart where you can just keep coming back and picking up a new log for the fire anytime you want. But, instead, these idiots just hand over the fire. Well done, boys. Well done.

After that scene, we get Colton talking about how he doesn’t believe in handouts. Uh, how about that Immunity Idol that you got there, dipsh*t?!? How did you get that? Did you get off your lazy ass to go look for it? Hell no, the girls found it and stupidly gave it to you, which I’m no genius (well, I kinda am) but if I look up the definition of handout, I kinda think that’s what I’ll find. This moron gets more annoying by the minute. He’s just as annoying to me as the idiot people who start Twitter pages like @Angiesrightleg and get over 40,000 people to follow them. Seriously, what the f*ck do 40,000+ people think is so great about reading these stupid ass tweets that probably some 12 year old boy is writing about Angelina Jolie’s right leg from a picture? I write a blog that thousands of people read and have something like 250 followers. I’m an actual person, with actual thoughts, and I can’t even keep the 250 people that are following me, yet something as retarded as @Angiesrightleg gets 40,000+ followers? F*ck you, Colton. F*ck you. Don’t believe in handouts, who are you kidding?

Anyway, we get another scene where Alicia and Chelsea invade the men’s camp so that they can stand by the fire and warm up and the guys just sit idly by and allow them to do it, even though they ask again for the use of the fishing gear and boat and the girls won’t give them an answer. I have an idea, tell them to get out of your camp, go walk over and put their fire out, and tell them that they are obviously playing this game for themselves, so you are going to start doing the same and won’t be giving out any more Colton Patented Handouts. Enjoy the cold weather and not being able to cook the fish you catch, ladies. Again, how simple is it to think of these things, yet none of these idiot guys are doing it? They just let them stand there and warm up, get comfortable and cozy, take fire back to their camp so they can cook fish that they definitely won’t share with you. I’m trying to realize if it’s just because I’m writing this blog that I notice how stupid these people are or if they’ve been this stupid every season of Survivor and I just never really paid attention before. Or, maybe there are just rules I don’t know about that they have to abide by. Judging by past seasons where people have thrown other people’s shoes into the ocean and buried clothes in the sane, I’m thinking not. They’re just that stupid.