SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 3/1/12

Disclaimer: I have had one hell of a bad week, so stick around because these people are going to get it today. I have to displace my anger somewhere, right? I’m certainly not going to look within to change anything, I’d much rather take it out on people I’m never going to meet in real life. I do this all for your pleasure. See how nice I am? I have no issue tearing down one person as long as it lifts the spirit of hundreds! Just like Mother Theresa would have wanted…

We start off the episode over at the Salami tribe, where Chelsea is doing the voiceover, “All eyes are on Kat now as we try and get rid of the weak players even if they’re in our alliance.” Two things, one, if you decided to keep her after the last tribal, I think I need a better explanation as to why because she was the weakest one at that point, as well, even more so than The Ugly One. And, second, if you didn’t vote her out last time because she was in your alliance and you still wanted the numbers, why would you change that strategy just two days later and start voting out your numbers? I don’t doubt that there are smart women in this world, I really don’t, and I’m not saying the guys don’t make idiotic decisions in this game, too, but these girls are just making WAY too easy to pick on them. I really feel as if they have no clue as how to play this game and how it works. It’s almost as if none of the Salami tribe has even heard about Survivor before. Hell, you would think the Asian chick would understand. Ok, that was my Tosh.0 moment. Jesus, anybody watch that show and wish you could say the things he says and have people think it’s funny even though it’s extremely racist?!? I think he’s slowly becoming my hero. Not because I want to be racist, but because I’d love to have free reign on everything and have people think I’m funny. Look, I’m f*cking hilarious, I know this, but even my own wife doesn’t appreciate half the funny sh*t I say, but this kid comes out with every racist comment you can imagine and people PAY to sponsor him. Yet, we always hear about other people being dropped from their sponsorships because of one little mistake they make or one little comment they make or one little picture they take that isn’t deemed appropriate as a “role model.” If anybody is still looking up to celebrities as role models, than that’s their f*cking problem in the first place. Ok, rant #1 in the books. I told you, I’m in no mood, this entire blog may end up being nothing about Survivor at all and just about all the things I find wrong in this world! I’m kidding, but only because you’d be reading for 14 hours straight if I did something like that…I am King of the Whiny B*tch Rant for a reason, you know.

Back to Survivor, where we get Colton hanging around the girls camp again, asking the girls if they want to come over by their camp since a major storm seems to be brewing. The girls are somewhat upset by this. Go figure, a guy tries to do something nice for them and they blow it up to make it seem like he’s the biggest a-hole in the world for even walking the fifteen feet over to their side of the beach. Anyway, they decide to tough it out based on the fact that they’re annoyed that he asked them, but the very next morning, they have no issue going on over by their fire to warm up since the rain and cold weather was too much for them to handle. Far be it for any woman to let a man “win.” Yeah, I’m sure Colton would have thought of the girls taking him up on his offer as a victory. There would have been no shame in going over to their camp during the night, if they offered it to you. Typical women, though, always wanting their cake and eating it too, even though in this sense it was more like a sh*t pie they were eating.