Damn, something must have been in my coffee, because I have WAAAAAAAAAAY too many men’s genitalia references in this blog. Jessica Alba naked, Jessica Alba naked, Jessica Alba naked. Ok, that might even some things out.
Later at night, Colton tells Troyzan, Leif (the “small person” – seriously, I had to look his name up since he’s been nonexistent), and Jonas that he has the idol and is going to play it at the next Tribal and that he’s not going anywhere. Since those four feel as if they are on the outside of a bigger alliance within the Menudo tribe, they want to use it to their advantage to vote out “the muscle,” which would be either Matt or Mike. I can agree that they have a good chance of pulling off a blindside such as that, but I still feel as if Colton sucks enough that he’s going to make it somewhat obvious that he has the idol and the guys will catch wind and just vote out one of the other dipsh*ts not in the power alliance, like Jonas, Tarzan, or even Leif. Even though Jonas wants to believe Colton is smart, he’s not Survivor smart. He’s too emotional for that, he’ll show his hand before it’s time and screw everything up. But, still, him showing them that idol was probably a smart move. At first, I didn’t think it would be, but after seeing their reactions, I think he may have done the right thing. Until, of course, he screws it up, which he will.
At the Immunity challenge, I’m pretty sure every guy in the game was wishing the tribes were co-ed so they could have maneuvered their way around some of those girls boobies and grope them the way Kat was doing during her MANY attempts. Maybe Kit Kat is a lesbian and just wanted to grab on Monica and Christina’s boobs a little more than just once. She did mention Monica’s boobs the one time while staring straight at them, so maybe I’m right or maybe I’m right. I’m guessing I’m wrong, but either way, we got a little PG girl-on-girl action on Survivor. I’m sure if Cochran had been on this season, he would have had to excuse himself to clean up after himself, if you catch my drift.
In the end Rah-Rah (what Sabrina so lovingly described Kitty Kat as) costs her team the win by sucking at life, even though a few of the times she had to start over weren’t her fault. Monica (who is being known as Ex-NFL Players Wife – must be proud when that’s the best they can come up with to describe your status in life) and her far-apart fake boobs proved that the feat could be done, and it would appear that she has sealed Kat’s fate as the goat and the obvious one to vote out, if girls were reasonable and understood that they need to make their team strong by voting out the weak players.
I think everyone in America is shocked that a team of women have trouble communicating. It’s always funny how when you talk to men and women alike and women are always the biggest proponent of communication being the most important aspect of any relationship and yet they struggle with that area while the men seem to be doing pretty ok at it. Things to ponder.
Nina begins the last-ditched effort of saving herself by talking to Monica about how Rah-Rah needs to go. Monica agrees, Nina talks to Tall Kim about it, who also agrees, but we all know this is just clever Survivor editing and that they aren’t going to be voting Kat out because she’s in their alliance and blah, blah, blabbity blah. Hell, even Cute Chelsea agreed that Kat was making them look bad. Seems like it should be an obvious vote and that it’s early enough in the game to pick up another 5th person for the alliance, but again, that’s just too obvious. Let’s just head to Tribal, keep Nina thinking we’re going to maybe vote for Kat, and then send her ugly ass packing.
Yep, that’s about how it went at Tribal, too. They did send Nina packing, which everyone who owns an HD television was ok with having happen. No offense, but I think HD is a great thing, until things like this pop up.
Before she got sent home, they got into a discussion about “life experience.” Nina wanted to call out Kat on her “life experience.” Seriously, who gives a flying dildo about life experience? What was Mark Zuckerberg’s life experience before he started up facebook? What was Robert Heft’s life experience when he was 17 and created the 50-star American Flag? Life experience has absolutely nothing to do with what you bring to the table in any situation. It’s all about the kind of person you are, the intelligence you have, the ability you have to pick things up quickly, etcetera. This is what I dislike about cops; female cops at that. They have this incredible chip on their shoulder and think that they are better than everybody else. I think it’s from all of those years they get to be “above” the law that hands them that chip. I’m not saying all cops are this way, because there are level-headed people in every career field that is typically known for non-level-headedness, but Nina is just expressing herself the wrong way here. She should have just been upfront and called Kat stupid. She had to have known she was going home, so what does she have to lose. That is basically what people mean when they say someone has no life experience, so just come out and say it the blunt way. Tell everyone in the tribe why they need your life experience at their camp and how Rah-Rah isn’t going to add anything to the tribe except more losses. People need to become a little more inventive with their Tribal Council speeches, but moreso they need to make these speeches at camp, because once they’re at Tribal, the vote is pretty much already decided.
Another issue I had with the women was when Probst asked if they could go back and if things would be different, would they be? And, the girls (well, Chelsea and Sabrina) said yes. Uh, hello girls, it’s Day 5! Am I missing something here? Do alliances you make come with contracts with lawsuit clauses if you break those alliances? Vote Kat’s ass out if you don’t want her in your alliance. Pick up a new member. What is Kat going to do? She’s not on the jury, she’s not going to Redemption, and even if she was it’s not like she was going to win those dual’s and make it back into the game. Again, common sense and rationality would tell anyone that you can change your mind in the game of Survivor. It’s ok to do that. If you want to have a new alliance, go ahead and form one. It’s not like they were going to kick Kat out and then keep her in the game. They were going to vote her out and add a new member. Or, keep things the same on the surface with the 5 girl alliance, but start some side alliances with other girls to cover your ass that way. Seriously, it is only Day 5, you don’t even have to go back in time, you can start a new alliance whenever you want in this game.
Whatever. I knew that the Salami tribe was going to frustrate the hell out of me.
Jessica Alba naked, Jessica Alba naked, Jessica Alba naked.
Ok, I’m better now.
Until next week,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
Reality tv has proven time and time again that when you put women in a group chaos ensues, which is of course why they do it over and over again. And like you I’m not saying all women would be unable to work as a group, but definitely the ones that want to be on reality tv.
I hate it when Survivor pits men against women. Women will lose everytime….their catty behavior will destroy any team that they try to develop. And you can’t go far if you can’t win a challenge! I think even Sabrina brought up at tribal council that women let things brew and men face conflict, argue and resolve it. It can’t be more true. And I’m a woman saying this…. I hope they drop the men vs. women thing and mix the groups before they merge into one group. That’s the only way any of those women stands a chance in getting to the final 3.
I agree Alisha cracked me up with that crazy girl crap. Hello Pot meet Kettle. I would hate to be put on the woman’s team and I am a woman. Colton is seriously annoying gay boy. I think he will blow this whole game. He definitely doesn’t have a survivor way of thinking.
I enjoy your rants, keep it up.