SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – 2/16/12

Also, Jay Bird should just never talk. I can admit when a guy is attractive. Jay Bird is, but after hearing him talk, I feel 7 MILLION times more masculine.

Next, we get the scene where we find out just how spoiled Tarzan is by his career. I will say this as a man. When girls offer to give you “naked dances” (I know that was never agreed upon, but “pants off” is the next step away from full nudity and the guys could have gotten them to agree) and all you need to give them is fire, you TAKE THAT F*CKING DEAL!! Of course, it would come with the stipulation that the guys get to choose the girls and we would have needed Kourtney, Chelsea, Kim, Alicia, and sure why not Monica to all join in on the party. This is Survivor, they are living on the same beach as you, they are going to get that fire eventually. Take that nudity on Day 1 before it’s Day 15 and the girls haven’t showered or shaved for 2 weeks! Come on, guys! You could have parlayed that fire into both chickens, a couple of lap dances, and maybe a sexual favor or two. Instead, you got yourself 20 weaved plants to sit on. Congratulations.

I think I may have mentioned this last season, but Survivor is making it way too easy to find the “hidden” immunity idol. Seriously, she pokes a stick inside a tree stump and the idol just pops out?!? At least make them dig or climb a f*cking tree or something. I am still waiting for Survivor to put the idol under water. Make it impossible to find without the clue and then still make it take some talent to actually acquire it. Holding your breath long enough to swim to the bottom of the ocean (I’m not saying to put it 100 feet down, but maybe 10 feet or so) takes some ability and, most likely, some teamwork. Stop putting it inside tree stumps and use your damn brains for once. I do like the wrinkle that they threw on her that it wasn’t for her tribe and she needed to give it to one of the men. But, at the same time, I don’t like the wrinkle that they said she “needs” to give it to one of the men. Can’t she just throw it into the ocean so they never find it? And, why before the first tribal council? That just tells me that you told her where it was because you needed someone to find it before the first tribal council. Let’s stop butting into the game as much as we are and just let it flow the way it’s supposed to…thanks.

We head on over to the Immunity Challenge where my girl Kourtney busts up her wrist to the point where she’s dizzy (really, you get dizzy from hurting your wrist…I guess with the dehydration, maybe, but I don’t know) and Probst has to stop the challenge and remove her from the game to get X-rays done. He then tells the guys that they have a decision to make. That decision is whether or not they want to take the victory by default or keep playing and give the girls an advantage for coming out victorious. Uh, like smart people, the guys take the win. Of course, the girls are upset by this, but let’s be honest, they would have done the same damn thing. Like I will say every time, this is Survivor, you don’t pass up on “free” immunity. That would be like someone giving up the Individual Immunity Necklace. Also, Kim, sorry to tell you but chivalry is not alive and well in the game of Survivor. Unless you are giving up those nude dances and sexual favors, I wouldn’t expect any guy to just hand you an advantage in the Immunity Challenge and say, “Hey, you know what, I kind of want this to be fair for you, so here you go…”

What the f*ck happened to Nina’s face? Sh*t, I probably could have said that at the very top of this show, but after the Challenge was over, she looked as if she let Tarzan give her some lip injections and botox. Her lip and eyebrow were all busted up, red, and swollen. It was pretty tough to look at. Let’s be honest here. That was one ugly face. And, ugly is the understatement of this blog entry. And, let’s be honest again, I understate a lot of things.

And, then we get the video of Sabrina giving Colton the idol. He seems like the kind of guy that will somehow screw himself over having that advantage. It kind of feels like they are giving him more screentime than he needs to be getting. They showed a lot of him this episode and I still don’t feel as if he said or did anything of importance. Perhaps he was just the only one who talked. Better him than Mr. Miyagi, I guess.

At Tribal Council, Alicia and Christina get into it pretty good over the deal that was made for the fire. I’m like Probst and that I really don’t get what Alicia was so pissed off about. Maybe her bottoms were too tight on her vagina and she was just taking it out on Christina, but I don’t see why where the girls did the weaving mattered all that much. I don’t think Christina was trying to get in good with the guys, I think she was just being the only rational girl on the tribe and making a legitimate deal to do some work for the guys to give them their fire. Hell, Alicia shook the guys hands, as well, and gave her blessing for the deal, so I don’t know if I understand too much why it was such an issue that Christina might agree to do the weaving at the guys camp. The material was already at the guys camp, so why lug it all over to your camp to do the work when you could just knock it out right then and there. Aren’t the camps RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER?!? You seriously can’t have your friend walk 10 feet over to the guys camp to weave some whatever-the-hell they were weaving? Again, it’s us guys who need you women to survive, right? I think the guys were doing fine without you…

Probst then breaks the bad news to me…er, I mean to the rest of the girls that Kourtney has broken her wrist and was out of the game! See, what did I tell you that it’s the pretty ones who are always gone too soon. It was nice NOT knowing you, Kourtney. And, now my wife doesn’t have to be worried about hearing about her for the next 3 months or so while this show is on and I’m blogging about it. Probst also tells the girls that nobody else is going home. I was disappointed by this news, seeing as how there have been plenty of other times when people have gone home because of injuries and they still made the tribe vote someone out at the next Tribal. But, I’m not sure who they would have voted out, anyway, so maybe it’s better to give them all a rest and let them cut each other’s heads off back at camp after the nice verbal beat down lashed out at Tribal.

If I had to give my predictions, I think I’m going to say that it’s too soon to pick anybody who can win, but I will say that Alicia is the type that is either going to be voted out first or will make it to the end because everyone hates her and knows she won’t win. I also think the “small person” will do fairly well. He seemed level-headed and like there may be enough other headcases on the guys tribe that he will outlast them long enough to make it to the merge. But, I have a feeling nobody will want to take him to the end because they assume some might throw him pity votes.

Ok, that will wrap up Episode 1 of Survivor: One World. Tune back in next week and every subsequent week for my recaps. Hopefully, this season blows last season out of the water. I don’t see how it can’t, but you never know.

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Thanks for reading,

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
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