SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD – MEET THE CAST

Greg Smith, M.D., 64, Plastic Surgeon

Just that fact that he goes by “Greg Smith, M.D.” makes me want to kick him in the teeth. Look, you ain’t James Bond, you fix girls t*tties for a living, you didn’t much earn your M.D. the same I didn’t “earn” my B.A.

Second strike is the fact that you think you’re most like “Coach Ben Wade.” Ugh, are we going to have to sit through another season of his type bullsh*t. If this guy starts doing women’s karate on the beach and talking about Napoleon and Genghis Khan, I’m going to literally fly to whatever island these f*cks are on and karate chop this guy in the throat. And, that will be a legitimate karate chop, not some flimsy yoga-like karate chop that Coach Ben Wade applies.

My Prediction: We forget about this loser the second after he’s eliminated. You should have said you were most like Rick, because I can see you getting no air time at all.

Leif Manson, 27, Phlebotomist

I feel smarter after copying the word “Phlebotomist” to make sure I spelled it right. Then I googled it and learned he draws blood for a living and I went back to being the same level of smart I already wasn’t, but still pretend to be.

Props to CBS for casting a small person on the show, but as is with all shows like this, they’re probably only doing it to move the spotlight over to themselves more.

My Prediction: No chance. I wonder if they had to specialize the challenges so he could compete in all of them the same as everyone else. I am trying to recall certain challenges in the past that may have been difficult for him to perform in and can’t really think of any, so probably not. He’s dealt with being a small person his entire life, so I’m sure he will adapt just fine, I just don’t feel as if he’s going to go far. People will probably vote him off for fear that if he does make it to the finals, they would hand him the money just based off the fact that he is a small person.

Nina Acosta, 51, Retired LAPD Police Officer

There are many things I dislike in life. One is police officers. But, one thing I like less than police officers are FEMALE police officers. Look, I get it, it’s tough being a female in a “typical” male career field, but don’t take it out on me because you chose that path for your life? If you don’t like being mistreated in your profession when you knew full well going in you would be, you can’t be angry at the rest of us, right? That just makes you an idiot. Am I wrong or am I wrong?

I’m not saying anything bad against Nina. I don’t know her at all, just making a generalization here. I happen to think she’ll do quite well on the female tribe. She seems to be the take-charge type. One of her hobbies is target shooting, so I’d probably steer clear of getting on her bad side.

My Prediction: She makes it into the merge and will be the last female in the game. I’m thinking final 3 is likely, and maybe even getting a vote or two in the end. Although, just as I typed this, I read that her mom was a feminist, so I think I might change my tune on her chances. She may be second gone.

Matt Quinlan, 33, Attorney

I think if he was anything other than a lawyer, he might have great odds at winning. I still think he has great odds to win, but I think he’s going to need a lot of luck in the challenges and/or a lot of the people turning out to be like Brandon from last season.

He wants to play a bold, evolved and innovative game. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I’m sure it will end up never happening. He will be much like his lawyer compadre, Cochran, in thinking he is playing a great game, but really just being a dud.

My Prediction: Most of the women enjoy looking at him.

Colton Cumbie, 20, Student

Oh God.

My Prediction: He uses the word “adorable” to describe himself. The fact that the tribes are split up will probably end up being the main reason he’s gone early. His “strategy for everything” won’t matter.

Kim Spradlin, 29, Bridal Shop Owner

Sure, I’ll bite. She’s coming in wanting to respect everybody and play with honor and all this crap. She probably hasn’t watched the show all too much and one of the producers asked her to be on the show since she has a decent looking appearance.

She asked the question “Why would you vote off someone who respects you?” Probably to win a million bucks.

My Prediction: She will make it to the merge. She will probably be the one this year who finds “love” on the show. I can see her and Jay having a connection.

Kourtney (not Kardashian) Moon, 29, Motorcycle Repair

The thing I can respect about her the most is that when she was asked about her reasons for being on the show, she gave THE most (and only) honest answer, “I need the money.” She, of course, went on to give the cliché type answers after that, but that was her first statement.

My Prediction: Once she takes off that hat, she will have the prettiest face of all the girls! Oh, second, don’t do a Google Image search of Kourtney Moon. Unless you are a guy, of course. Either she has changed her appearance since being in a lot of porn or she just shares the moniker with some fine, upstanding young women who like to take things up the butt. As for Survivor, I think she’ll be out just before the merge, mostly just because I think the men are going to win more challenges and have more players going into the merge and she’ll be the casualty of that.

Ok, so that is everyone. If you disagree with my assessments on some of these people, please feel free to share. Hell, feel free to share anyway, because I’d love to hear what you have to say about these people before they get on TV and completely ruin everything we can imagine about the type of person they are and we start hating them all for sucking at life.

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
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