Tribal went on and Jim gave his “passionate” speech, which landed with a thud like a turd does in a waterless toilet. He kept the necklace and Ozzy was voted off. Not before he told everyone about how he’s going to feed himself well every day on Redemption Island and come back into the game with more strength than all of them, and that they are going to miss him feeding them (which is probably true). I enjoyed them having to blur out his spelling of Coch, which I’m assuming he spelled “Cock.” I would have went further and drew a small penis on the paper, considering all that talk about how they made the Coch feel small. I might have even drawn a small guy on all fours with his butt facing the penis, with an arrow pointing at the man, saying “Brandon” since those two are butt-buddies now. Kudos to Ozzy for going out in style, though.
CBS makes a point to show that Ozzy meant what he said and that he was going to eat well at Redemption Island by catching a huge fish and cooking it up for him and Keith to enjoy.
I was thinking after that scene, they were going to show the duel, but instead they threw a wrinkle at us and we went to another Immunity challenge. I think CBS knows this season is a dud and is going to just try and wrap it up as quick as possible. It’s not going to get good until the Upolu tribe starts turning on each other, so let’s get there as fast as we can, right? And, just as Ozzy was asking “I wonder how they’re eating,” they show us that they’re going to eat well if they don’t want to compete in the challenge. And, since all Upolu and Cochran feel as if they are safe, they all decided to forgo the Immunity Challenge and eat. And, it would have been at this moment when I realized I needed to punch Cochran in the face. Had I been Jim, as soon as my ball dropped from whatever that contraption was they were holding it on, I would have picked it up and whipped it at Cochran’s face, probably hitting Sophie right in between her pretty eyes since it’s been 22 days or whatever since I’ve really eaten. I, also, would have ran over to that table and stole a muffin and ate it real fast, because really, what is Probst going to do? He’s not Bear Grylls, he’s not going to choke me out before I get there…I’m eating that damn pastry. And, I don’t even like pastries!!
As it goes, the Upolu tribe was clearly rooting for Dawn to win since she’s been sucking up around camp, but that doesn’t work out and Whitney ends up winning. As a side note here, I will say that Whitney is one of those girls who is not “Survivor pretty.” She was pretty when they first arrived, but as the season has gone along, she’s lost her luster in my eyes. But, she’s one of those girls that will probably knock our socks off once the finale comes to. Just thought I’d throw that in there.
After the challenge is over, Al B. Unsure makes an appearance with his unsure-ness about his tribe and Dawn. He wants to nip that in the bud as soon as he can. He feels as if Dawn may be more dangerous than Jim, because he can see her sneaking into their alliance because of how nice she is and how likable she comes off as. Jim, who gave us the second best comment of the night, saying “Cochran is playing the most brilliant 3rd place game…” couldn’t be more right. It’s almost as if he isn’t thinking that most of the final votes are going to be Savaii members, so good luck getting them to vote for you to win, Small Coch. With that in mind, he approaches Albert and Sophie with the plan to vote out…Edna?!? What? Why would they do that…oh wait, he was smoking some reefer right before that. That has to be the case, because that is an idiotic plan to approach the opposite team with. Your only chance of them voting NOT you is to vote Cochran out, so why ask them vote out Edna? Just another notch on the Idiot Belt that is Season 23 of Survivor.
Albert then shares his “brilliant” plan to get rid of Dawn first with Sophie, Coach and Tough Guy (Loco). Sophie basically tells him he’s an idiot and Coach makes some analogy about snakes and rhinoceroses. See my point with how these are the people who are going to be given $1 million?!? And we wonder what is wrong with the world we live in…
Too funny! Thanks for making me laugh every week. I am picturing Probst choking a muffin out of your mouth…
Fantastic. Very entertaining, even with the *’s. Thanks for brightening my Thursdays.
I may not be the toughest kid on this planet, but I do know that when it comes to food, even Mike Tyson isn’t getting that muffin out of my mouth!
Thanks for the comments!
Scott, loved the update.
I have watched how Survivor has evolved over the years to try to deal with the boredom of the ‘tribe alliance’ with the introduction of exile/redemption island. The producers have continually tweaked a series with tribe switch ups etc and while I think it’s optimistic to hope for this season is for them to add in a couple of additional immunity challenges forget a reward or two and then bring back not one but even two or three redemption island vote-offs back into the main tribe at a point where the numbers are even… it would make the end of this series very interesting to watch… as apposed to the predictable path that you write of above.