After coming back from a commercial break, Survivor shows their love for Coach with his Clenched Fist scene. Seriously, you needed to zoom in on his forearm as he was clenching his fist and hold scene for five seconds? You had nothing else happen at camp you could have shown? Whitney in her bikini? Ozzy climbing a tree? Jim smoking his stash? This is what you’ve chosen for us to watch?
After that nonsense was over, we head on over to an early Immunity Challenge. I kept thinking there must be some major drama before Tribal to have the Immunity Challenge so early in the show, but this is a jam-packed episode, so they wanted to get right to it, I guess. Another gripe I have with Survivor is how they choose to edit the showing of some of the challenges. Like with Dawn when she threw her ball into the hole. Why show her throwing it and then cut to an up-close view of a ball (not necessarily being hers) going into the hole, then cut back to her celebrating? Why not just show it like they did with the others where you got the full view so we could tell it was them making the shot? I’m not saying these things are rigged, but it just doesn’t sit well with me that they do things like this ALL THE TIME! Anyway, it is what it is, and Dawn, Whitney, Jim and Sophie are the four winners of Round 1 of the challenge and everyone in the world is shocked at the foursome. But, it doesn’t even really matter who gets Immunity, because either Jim, Whitney, or Dawn are going home, so who cares, right? Just another reason why this season is so boring…we already know the results.
In part 2, Jim ends up winning because Sophie stops as she’s about to puke. If I’m Sophie, I’m going to continue and just puke into my cylinder. Why stop? I know that may be the knee-jerk reaction to having to throw up, but she stood there for a good 10+ seconds attempting to keep it in. Why not just continue on? All she had to do was jump down and run over to the cylinder and spit it in there and she would have won. I know she didn’t need to win, but as a competitor you do always want to win. I guess she just didn’t want it badly enough. Oh well, Weed Boy wins and earns himself another day on the Island. Whooped-dee-freakin-do.
Back at camp, Jim tells Ozzy about this great plan he has that when they go to Tribal, he is going to give Ozzy the necklace and then make this passionate speech about how there are 10 people in this game who are playing with honor and only one person who isn’t (Cochran) and to please vote him off. He’s going to reason with them that they would still have the numbers even if they voted him off, but that he just wants him gone. Still, even if they did, it’s just going to earn you another day or two at the most. It’s an idiotic move because the other tribe isn’t going to go for it, but you can’t blame the man for thinking. I just think all the weed to the brain has killed a few too many brain cells.
We head over to Tribal and I’m trying to think what the hell is going to happen with the other 30 minutes of this episode if someone is already getting kicked off. But, at Tribal, Jim says the WORST phrase known to man, “it’s just a game.” No, Monopoly is just a game. Risk is just a game. Battleship is just a game. When you are playing Survivor, when the winner gets $1 MILLION, it is NOT JUST A GAME!! I hate when people say this. Do these people not understand that they can win money? It is ok to take betrayal personally in Survivor. Some f*ckface just ruined your chances at winning $1 million, it’s understandable you’re going to be pissed. Things cease being a game when money is involved. That’s real. Get these people off my TV screen, please. I almost feel like punching myself in the face as I watch this season with all these dimwits. The thing I have always hated about Survivor is the fact that the winner does get $1 million. And, that is typically because I always feel as I’m watching the season unfold that nobody on the show deserves to become a millionaire. That’s just me. I’m a jackass, though, so I don’t ever really think anybody deserves to be a millionaire. Maybe that one stripper I got a lap dance from when I was 18, but that’s about it. The moves she had deserved a million bucks. It’s a shame I think I only had $3 on me at that point. I’m sure she enjoyed those White Castles with my money, though…
Too funny! Thanks for making me laugh every week. I am picturing Probst choking a muffin out of your mouth…
Fantastic. Very entertaining, even with the *’s. Thanks for brightening my Thursdays.
I may not be the toughest kid on this planet, but I do know that when it comes to food, even Mike Tyson isn’t getting that muffin out of my mouth!
Thanks for the comments!
Scott, loved the update.
I have watched how Survivor has evolved over the years to try to deal with the boredom of the ‘tribe alliance’ with the introduction of exile/redemption island. The producers have continually tweaked a series with tribe switch ups etc and while I think it’s optimistic to hope for this season is for them to add in a couple of additional immunity challenges forget a reward or two and then bring back not one but even two or three redemption island vote-offs back into the main tribe at a point where the numbers are even… it would make the end of this series very interesting to watch… as apposed to the predictable path that you write of above.