SURVIVOR – 10/20/11

We head over to Probst and the Immunity Challenge/Reward Challenge. In the beginning of the competition, Dawn and Ozzy suck it up and allow Upolu to stretch out a huge lead. They were firing their coconuts before Savaii even had their coconuts dumped in the pit. But, then Upolu starts missing and Coach gets frustrated with Mikayla for not sitting out when he asks her to. I think if Coach were a true leader, he would have just told her to sit out, but he’s the passive aggressive type who asks nicely and then when they end up losing, he wants to be the one to be able to say “I knew she should have sit out and even said so.” He’s an idiot. I know he’s playing a better strategic game this time around, but I still think he’s an idiot. How many targets did you knock down, Coach? It wasn’t Mikayla alone that lost the competition for your tribe, you played a big role in that, as well. As a leader, you are crap, because you couldn’t knock down anything, either. It was all Albert and his awkward pump fisting that knocked down targets. But, in the end, he didn’t knock down enough quick enough and Savaii made the major comeback and won the Tribal Immunity.

Still, though, bye Mikayla. You are in a tribe of seven people and six of those people are “together.” Best of luck finding your way out of this one. I don’t even think autographed copies of your Playboy spread would do the trick. Maybe a private show might sway Rick’s vote, but he is probably immune to the power of the ta-ta’s after 15 days of seeing you walk around in your underwear. Sorry. The pretty ones always go early in Survivor. Always.

But, Non-Fat Albert sees things a different way than Coach. He wants Mikayla to stay and tells her he is going to fight for her, and to vote off Paper Mache Hat (aka Edna). For a second, it seems as if Loco may go along with it as he says he is starting to trust Mikayla more and Edna less, “because she has a look on her face like she is playing everyone.” But, he once again proves his craziness with the statement, “I’m sticking to my word even if it costs me the game.” He is voting out Mikayla and Non-Fat Albert realizes that talking to him was pointless and moves on with his plan by trying to convince Coach that Mikayla and her lingerie football skills needs to stay on the tribe. But, in talking to Coach, Al B. Unsure realizes that Coach has Edna in his back pocket and that’s why he wants to keep her and not Mikayla. He realizes that it’s not all up to The Hillbilly Porn ‘Stache and where his vote lies. Rick couldn’t be more excited about being the swing vote, because it’s probably the first time the producers asked him to do a sit-down interview. Seriously, have you ever seen him do one of those interviews before? He looked awkward as sh*t sitting down in the jungle talking about the game of Survivor. I think he probably believes he’s on Man vs. Wild right now.

At Tribal, Upolu gets into a semi-heated discussion about the Loyalty vs. Numbers argument going into the merge. Brandon’s argument that loyalty is more important is ridiculous. If you go into the merge without numbers, what is loyalty going to get you? I’ll tell you what it’s going to get you…it’s going to get you two or three people becoming disloyal and moving over to the “other side” to vote your ass out so they can stay in the game longer. You NEED numbers going into the merge. And, the way you combat disloyal members of your alliance is by poaching others from the opposing tribe. Every season, every tribe going into the merge has disgruntled “employees,” so knowing that, you can be ok with going into the merge with numbers, knowing you are only going to become stronger (or stay even) by poaching members of the other tribe to flip to your alliance. It happens every year, so quit with the loyalty talk. You stay loyal to one person and that’s yourself.