Like Stacey says, “She’s scrambling like scrambled eggs in a hot skillet.” I know what you were going for here, but you could have left the “scrambled” out of the comment since we already know the eggs are scrambling! I’m not here to teach you English lessons, but just passing along important information for later on in life. I know you’re used to talking to dead people, who don’t talk back, so I just thought you’d like to hear someone say something back for once. You are welcome.
Brandon tries to tell Coach that Mortician Hands was telling him that she thinks there is a threesome forming within their own alliance and Coach gives Brandon a stern lecture about needing to relax. “Just stop it!” Good stuff. I’m actually liking Coach better this season, so far. He’s dropped the weirdness and stopped telling stupid stories that we know never happened, so he’s coming off as an actual, “normal” human being, and seems to have stepped up his strategic play more than the other veteran has, who we are seeing hasn’t learned anything from being voted out twice already. Anyways, Coach tells Brandon that things are just going to get more crazy as time goes on and that if he’s going to start believing everything people who are about to go home are telling him then he’s going to end up losing it.
Brandon tries to tell Coach that he’s a good judge of character and Coach doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If Brandon is a good judge of character, then I’m not even sure what that makes me. I think my IQ dipped 20 points just listening to him say that. I studied judging characters in college and I can tell by looking at this kid that he couldn’t figure a person out if that person wore a biography of themselves on their shirt. He’d probably talk about how he didn’t like that person because they had too many words on their shirt and God taught him that the only words that meant anything were those in the Bible. Or, if it was a girl with boobs, he’d hate her, anyways, even if she was the greatest person in the world, because if a girl is showing her cleavage, she’s automatically a devil in his eyes…
One thing we learned at Tribal Council is that Sophie’s eyes are ridiculously pretty in HD television. I’ve always been told I have pretty blue eyes, but whenever people have crystal blue eyes like she does, I’m jealous. Kudos, Sophie. That may be the only kudos I give you this season, seeing as how we never get to see you, so savor the feeling of being kudo’d by me!!
Ok, we learned two things at Tribal Council. We also learned why Rick (this is the first time I’ve heard his name) is not featured on the show. “He snores.” Moron. Go back to grooming your mustache with horse sh*t. Or watching two squirrels have sex, which apparently you mentioned in the first episode during the only other time this season you received air time.
Something else I’d like to know is what Russell did that was so bad? Why is this kid crying on national TV about how hard it was for his family after Russell “did what he did?” I’m not understanding. He played a fricken game on CBS that, maybe, 10 million people watched (there are over 250 million in the US, making that less than about 4% of people in the country who even KNOW who Russell is), and pulled stunts on the show that other people have done, as well. You would think that he drown someone in the ocean during one of the seasons he was on or something. Sure, the man was a jerk and didn’t know how to talk to people, but why all the hatred? I’m failing to understand this and hope that someone can clear this up over at CBS, because they are truly making a big deal out of something that is nothing.
And, in the end, Mortician Stick Hands got to pick up another stick, this time her torch, to have it snuffed out by Jeff Probst after she was voted out by her tribe. She had no interest in hugging Coach after she was told she was voted out, which I can appreciate. I’m tired of all these people who are all nice to their tribe after being voted out and whatnot. I like a little fire in people. I want to see people pissed off about being voted out. I don’t want to shake anyone’s hand after they beat me in anything. I have no problem with what people consider “being a poor sport.” Sure, I’m going to teach my kid to lose gracefully, but that doesn’t mean they have to LIKE losing. I’m not going to hug someone who votes me out, even if it is just a game. Like I said earlier in this blog, they are playing this “game” to win $1 MILLION!! Do people not understand why other people get pissed when they betray them? If I lose out on that kind of money, I’d probably snap my torch on my knee and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle everyone’s ass at Tribal Council, including Probst. I already lost the money, so f*ck it, I’m going out in style! Props to Stacey.
Although, the “I will be back” comment was far-fetched. We know you ain’t winning sh*t and will probably be gone from our televisions next Wednesday night. Best of luck with Christine over at Redemption Island.
Until next week,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
I really enjoy reading your recaps – so I’m really happy you’ve chosen not to post spoilers… I would have to stop reading if that the case. Great job!
I didn’t like that challenge for immunity. I realize they’ve done it in the past, but I just really feel like only 3 people compete from each tribe in that one, so I didn’t like it.
I also didn’t understand why Christine and Papa Bear were so slow on the redemption challenge…people on these shows I tell ya!! 🙂
NO NO NO SPOILERS. I read spoilers one year for Survivor and hated it. So please, NO!!!
Russell reignited excitement into the game, that is what made him great. He came to PLAY the game, which is why I am still a fan. Brandon is Loco, fear in his eyes. Coach is likeable this season, his firt season he was Loco. Maybe you have to get used to it. Ozzy is like “peace out”, just on vacation. Whatever happened to him and Amanda?
You cracked me up. Keep it up.