SURVIVOR – 9/29/11

The challenge starts off with Upolu getting off to a faster start than Savaii, with Care Bear holding them back on the rope. But, they catch up quick and end up taking the lead for a short while. But, eventually, Upolu pulls away in the water due to Dawn strolling along and also Ozzy losing his board in the water for a quick moment. Normally, I’d say the beginning parts of these challenges never matter because it’s all about the puzzle, but the ending of this challenge isn’t really a puzzle. It is five banners being scrolled down and they just need to interchange a few here and there and they’ll be done. That “puzzle” should take about 15 seconds to complete.

Coach ends up killing it in the grappling hook section of the challenge, pulling Upolu way ahead of Savaii, leaving Whitney and her yellow bra in the dust. Coach has his puzzle complete before Whitney and Elyse even got their banners untied. And, they started at the grappling hook section at about the same time. Shame. But, we already know that this won’t be blamed on Whitney, even though I would say she is the sole reason they lost this challenge. Jim says that Care Bear held them back and is worthless to the tribe, but the teams were neck and neck through that part of the challenge, so they must have been blind to that fact. Maybe they didn’t watch as Whitney took 10 minutes to hook each basket while Coach was taking mere seconds to hook his. This is what a cute face and nip slips will do for you in the game of Survivor. I wish I had been born a pretty girl. Hell, I’m at work right now and there are two bosses huddled around a “pretty” girl’s cube talking to her about life in general. Ask me when the last time I had ANY boss at my desk asking me about my life. That would be never.

Back at Savaii camp, Ozzy says it’s going to be between Care Bear and The Coch. I don’t agree that Care Bear is as useless as Coch boy is, but maybe they just aren’t showing us everything and he really doesn’t do any good for the tribe. He seems to have been decent in challenges thus far, whereas The Coch has NOT. And, as sexist as it sounds, I’ve always believed the girls are inherently weaker in Survivor than even the most uncoordinated guys are. I think both Care Bear and The Coch can be more helpful than Whitney will ever be, but it’s all about friendships and Whitney has friends.

Care Bear knows that he’s on the chopping block, and that everyone telling him that “It’s Cochran” is all a game to get him to stop asking questions. Good police skills there. But, let me give you a bit of “Scott’s Advice.” Don’t EVER run in public. I don’t know what Elyse was thinking calling that a “dead sprint,” but it was not endearing to watch a grown man run like that. But, I will say Elyse looked quite cute in her tribal banner top and bikini bottoms. So, I’ll accept your dead sprint explanation from you.

Since Ozzy already has the Idol and Care Bear dug in the dirt for 30 seconds and couldn’t find it (this was about as sad an attempt as Mortician Stick’s attempt at finding the Idol clue), he decided to fake finding it. He wrapped some leaves and some sticks and added it to his “bulge” to make it appear he found something while out in the jungle. Good idea, but terrible execution. These were NOT so good police skills. I highly doubt anybody was fooled by this display, no matter what they were saying in their interviews. Speaking of the interviews, when do they do these? Do they pull each person aside and take them deep into the jungle or far away on the beach to do these, because I always find it funny that they are always so willing to speak so loudly about their strategy and how they feel about the other contestants when they are just on an island and those people can walk by at any moment. I feel as if Production has to lock an area down so they can do these interviews. Either that, or they do those on a set after filming has ended, kind of like how they do voiceovers. This will be another thing I never find out unless I actually get on the show. But, there is no way in hell I’d ever do Survivor. Not even the thought of seeing pretty girls in their underwear is enticing enough. I’d end up on the other tribe, anyways, where I don’t want to see anybody naked and I’d just be miserable the entire time with no food, no sleep, taking craps in a hole I just dug while people walk right by me and ants and other insects use my pubic hair as nests. Yes, I know that sounds disgusting, but it has to happen. And, if it doesn’t, it would happen to me. I miss every light in my commute home, so these things happen to me…

We head on over to Tribal Council where nothing good is really exchanged, other than Care Bear acknowledging “The 5” and “The 3.” Nothing was even made of that by Probst. He didn’t even ask him who was in “The 5” or what he meant by it or anything of the such. They just proceeded to vote his ass out. So, farewell, Papa Bear. I’ll use your “real” name since you got voted out. Best of luck at Redemption Island, P. Bear.

And, if Savaii doesn’t know how to take signs, they should learn. Even Jeff asked the question, “Are you voting out the right people?” He can even tell they’re heading the wrong direction when it comes to the numbers. They aren’t making their team stronger by keeping Coch and Whitney around and I have a feeling they’re going to lose next week, as well, which we got a sneak preview about Cochie devising some sort of plan with Jim to (apparently) get Ozzy out. We’ll see what happens.

One last note, for all my Twitter followers, don’t be afraid to talk to me on Twitter. I won’t bite. I always feel as if I should be doing more with Twitter, but don’t really know what to do with it, so feel free to send me quick notes or messages about Survivor or any other TV shows. I practically watch everything that is on the air right now, so have at it. It goes right to my phone and I respond fairly quickly, so make me feel like Twitter is actually useful in life. Oh, and tell Mikayla to stop tweeting something every 30 seconds. Unless it’s more pictures of her in a bikini. I guess that is ok. Thanks.

Until next week,

Scott