SURVIVOR – 9/22/11

September 22nd, 2011 | 1 Comment | Posted in Survivor 23 - South Pacific

If Brandon didn’t spit out his doozie of a comment, Mikayla’s “trustable” fiasco would have won comment of the night! I see they don’t teach English classes in the Lingerie Football League. Just keep that flat tummy and perky boobs and you’ll be ok.

As the tribe moves about discussing who needs to go home, Christine questions why Brandon would want to vote out Mikayla. Maybe someone needs to explain to Christine that when you are on the chopping block to go home, you don’t EVER question why someone wants to vote out someone other than you. You nod your head and agree to vote with them. Why are people so stupid? If it’s not her, it’s going to be you, I have to believe you knew that at that point, yet here you are trying to defend why Mikayla should stay? I’m fairly certain you just signed your death certificate over to Redemption Island, where you can recite poetry with Semhar while you two half-twits sit in the dark and cry because you can’t get a fire going. That first duel should be epic, in a horrible sense.

At Tribal, Coach lays it all out on the table telling the tribe that he heard that Stacey and Christine are voting out Mikayla and that he doesn’t understand why and wants to keep her. Both Mortician Hands and Christine (haven’t got a good name for her yet, but probably won’t have time to come up with one with how she seems on her way out) defend themselves by saying they’ve never even spoken to Coach about Mikayla. Coach tells them and everyone else that he didn’t say he heard it from them but that he just heard it, but that seems to be lost on the tribe because they seem to be all upset over this even though talking about voting someone out is all a part of the game. Why would anyone ever be surprised to hear that someone talked about voting them out. Jeff is reminding them that they are playing Survivor, right?

After a few tense moments, Brandon comes “clean” and says that he is the one who told Mortician Hands and Christine to vote for Mikayla. I’m not sure that is coming clean, because the whole question at hand was who told Coach, not who told the two girls. But, I know they edit out a whole bunch of what is said at Tribal, so we could have missed an important part of that conversation and he may have been eluding to something else said we didn’t hear. But, he’s an idiot for saying that when nobody else was going to rat him out, so whatever. I was hoping he would have scored some tips from Russell on how to play the game, but that is becoming apparently obvious that isn’t the case. Those two probably don’t even talk at family functions.

Wait, who the f*ck is this Albert guy? When did he show up? This is the first time I’m remembering seeing his face. But, hey, thanks for the comment on Coach being loyal. I look forward to seeing you once every other week from here on out.

My favorite part about the Tribal Council was the camera zooming in on Coach as his eyes definitely followed Mikayla’s ass as she got up to go vote! Don’t sweat it, Coach, every other guy would have done the same with her in those short shorts. Hell, she could have been wearing pajama jeans and we all would have looked!!

Anyways, Christine ended up getting voted out with the voting being all over the place. Jesus, Christine and Mortician Hands couldn’t even come together and vote on the same person! And, people wonder why they lose at Survivor. I’m guessing they don’t have to take any type of strategic tests before they’re casted for this show, because those two morons would have flunked the sh*t out of that test. They would have done what the dumb kids did on Scantron tests and just answered C for every question even though it wasn’t a multiple choice test.

And, again with all the different spellings of the names. I think Christine got spelled four different ways tonight! I think they should sit down on the first day and just ask everyone how they spell their names so they don’t have to look ridiculous on national TV. I know Christine can be spelled different ways, but still, it’s a simple question to ask, so just do it. Thanks, I’d appreciate it.

All right everyone, episode two in the books. Like I said before, feel free to hit me up during the week if you want to talk Survivor or anything, really. I’m available. Hit me up on Twitter, too. I’m sorry I’m not more like Probst sending out tweets for every second of the show, but I’m also not being paid millions of dollars to only host a TV reality show with nothing but time on my hands…still love you, though, Probst.

Until next week,

Scott

One thought on “SURVIVOR – 9/22/11

  1. I know we’re only two episodes in, but I hope to see a lot more backstabbing in coming weeks.

    The one thing I have always loved about Survivor is the parts before tribal council. They edit the show so well that even when you’re pretty sure who’s going to be voted off, it keeps you guessing.

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