SURVIVOR – 9/22/11

Now, we move back to Brandon and his whole issue with Mikayla again. Basically, he dislikes her because she has a nice body. Makes sense. I hate it when women have great bodies and look good in a bikini (or in this case, their underwear). Man, that really irks me. I’m sitting here livid staring at a picture of Jessica Alba in her bikini, showing off her butt while sunbathing! You b*tch. Really, Brandon? You want to call her “Parvati” because of her seductive ways? It’s not even like she’s hitting on you or anyone from what we’ve seen. All the girls are walking around in their underwear. Hell, the guys are too, so are we getting our panties in a bunch because of Coach in his underwear? You went on a walk with Coach when all he was wearing was his underwear and CBS had to blur it out because his nuts were probably hanging out the loose siding of it, but you didn’t seem to be bothered by that now did you? Leave Mikayla alone. She’s certainly leaving you alone, maybe that’s why you’re bothered by it all. Or, maybe you just want your wife to see that you’re “disgusted” by this behavior and think it will make you look better in her eyes. Get over yourself, Lil’ Hantz. Let the woman show what God gave her. I’m not mad at her.

Outside of Brandon and his “demons,” Christine goes searching for the clue to find the Idol and she finds the clue that Mortician Hands left behind for her. It seemed pretty easy to find out that was the clue when you actually use your hands to search. The clue seems pretty vague, but definitely tells us it’s in a tree somewhere. Happy hunting!

In the Immunity Challenge (and reward challenge), the girls of Upolu ripped apart Cochran and the rest of the females of the Savaii tribe in their portion of the challenge, giving the men of Upolu a huge lead in the puzzle section of the challenge. As Savaii catches up, despite Dawn taking her dandy ass time getting the keys loose (thanks Elyse for stepping up and snatching them from her), the Upolu men seem lost and are taking their dandy ass time, a la Dawn. And, with them falling apart in the puzzle part of the competition, that gave the Savaii tribe, led by Ozzy time to surpass them and win by a slight edge. This all seems ok with Brandon, though, as he sees this as his way of getting Mikayla out first. He is even willing to guarantee it. We’ll see how much Russell sway you have in you.

Back at Upolu camp after the loss in the competition, Coach tells his alliance that they should split the votes to flush out the Idol. I think that’s a stupid idea. Who do you think you are, Boston Rob? No, it’s too early for that and if anyone did have the Idol, they wouldn’t see it coming and wouldn’t bother using it, anyways. So, you would just be voting a second time. Brandon is going against Coach’s wishes and tells him that he wants Mikayla out. His reasoning is the comment of the night:

“Because I’m faithful to my wife.” Hahaha, what?!? Now it becomes apparent. He’s probably cheated on his wife in the past with a woman like Mikayla and this is his way of pounding his chest and showing his love for his Jane back at home. That is not a reason to vote someone out, moron. You are less and less like Russell with every passing second you open your mouth and speak. I think Russell is going to be ashamed of the game you end up playing. I think you have an opportunity to go far, but I’m quite sure you’re going to shoot yourself in the foot at some point, possibly unloading that gun on each of your toes. But, his plan seems less and less like it will work since both Coach and Sophie tell him that the tribe needs her and they can’t vote her out because she’s strong in challenges. Just go masturbate in the bushes, it will relieve the tension and awkwardness of your hard-ons when she’s walking around in her bra and boy short panties! You’ll be ok, trust me. So will your wife. She knows your playing a game for $1 million. If you have to stare at some boobies on the way to that $1 million, she’ll understand.